stimpy
24-05-04, 11:18
Sorry about the eye strain, everyone. This looks like being a long post.
It all started 2 weeks ago when my youngest child made friends with some new kids living around the corner. Who are a lot older than him.
Since then I feel like I am being - for want of a better word, storked.
At first it was nice that my son had made a friend, who has other siblings closer to his own age. Some one to bike ride with and keep him amused, while I kept a watchful eye out from a safe distance.
But now I am unable to cope with it.
2 weeks ago it was a living hell!
It started at 9 am on a Monday morning. The door bell wrang. I asked why these children weren't at school, only to be told they were having "Sats revision day off".
I explained that my children weren't home, they were at school, and no they couldn't borrow my bike I was busy and shut the door.
From then on the letter box rattled, the door bell wrang and little faces stared in at me through the lounge window.
Unable to stand it anymore, I deadlocked all my doors and hid in the other room. - Thinking to myself, if they can't see me they will think I am out and go away. But no, it continued for hours.
The next day continued pretty much the same.
I told them my kids were at school, no they couldn't borrow my bike. I wasn't feeling well and I wanted a rest.
I hid on the sofa under a blanket, thinking if they think I am asleep, they will leave me alone. But no.
Even the neighbourhood watch lady came out and told them to stop climbing on my gate and banging the windows.
The next day I bought some very long net curtains so that these peering faces couldn't see me. All the time wondering why these kids weren't at school. In the end I opened the window and told them to go away.
I bought a huge bolt for my gate with a combination padlock so that my youngest son wouldn't be able to open the gate and swamp me with youngesters asking 20 questions and pestering me to let them have a go of my bike.
I feel constantly watched. If I go in the garden I'm on my guard because these kids stand behind the gate, watching me through the cracks in the wood.
Now I don't want to go out incase they are there waiting and watching.
When I go in the lounge I am unable to settle, because I am waiting for faces to appear, trying to open my windows or constantly ringing the door bell.
If I go for a walk, my little friend from down the road always seems to be there and there is no escape. My youngest son then wants to play, and it starts all over again. Despite the fact they know I am not well and I just want to go home and rest. They don't take the hint.
They even wait outside the house at 3pm because they know I will have to leave the house to collect the children from school.
I feel like I am living in a goldfish bowl.
I was told to be mean and nasty, I have tried, but they never listen as I am obviously not nasty enough, and they just reappear the next day and it starts again.
So instead I hide away like a big chicken, because I just can't cope anymore.
I feel as if my life is being taken away from me because I am unable to cope and I am not strong or brave enough to speak my mind.
I have this fear of confrontation, and what people will do to me if I stand my ground.
I feel so sad and stupid for feeling and behaving like this.
But I just can't handle it.
Thanks for listening, and sorry for the eye strain.
Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.
[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'
It all started 2 weeks ago when my youngest child made friends with some new kids living around the corner. Who are a lot older than him.
Since then I feel like I am being - for want of a better word, storked.
At first it was nice that my son had made a friend, who has other siblings closer to his own age. Some one to bike ride with and keep him amused, while I kept a watchful eye out from a safe distance.
But now I am unable to cope with it.
2 weeks ago it was a living hell!
It started at 9 am on a Monday morning. The door bell wrang. I asked why these children weren't at school, only to be told they were having "Sats revision day off".
I explained that my children weren't home, they were at school, and no they couldn't borrow my bike I was busy and shut the door.
From then on the letter box rattled, the door bell wrang and little faces stared in at me through the lounge window.
Unable to stand it anymore, I deadlocked all my doors and hid in the other room. - Thinking to myself, if they can't see me they will think I am out and go away. But no, it continued for hours.
The next day continued pretty much the same.
I told them my kids were at school, no they couldn't borrow my bike. I wasn't feeling well and I wanted a rest.
I hid on the sofa under a blanket, thinking if they think I am asleep, they will leave me alone. But no.
Even the neighbourhood watch lady came out and told them to stop climbing on my gate and banging the windows.
The next day I bought some very long net curtains so that these peering faces couldn't see me. All the time wondering why these kids weren't at school. In the end I opened the window and told them to go away.
I bought a huge bolt for my gate with a combination padlock so that my youngest son wouldn't be able to open the gate and swamp me with youngesters asking 20 questions and pestering me to let them have a go of my bike.
I feel constantly watched. If I go in the garden I'm on my guard because these kids stand behind the gate, watching me through the cracks in the wood.
Now I don't want to go out incase they are there waiting and watching.
When I go in the lounge I am unable to settle, because I am waiting for faces to appear, trying to open my windows or constantly ringing the door bell.
If I go for a walk, my little friend from down the road always seems to be there and there is no escape. My youngest son then wants to play, and it starts all over again. Despite the fact they know I am not well and I just want to go home and rest. They don't take the hint.
They even wait outside the house at 3pm because they know I will have to leave the house to collect the children from school.
I feel like I am living in a goldfish bowl.
I was told to be mean and nasty, I have tried, but they never listen as I am obviously not nasty enough, and they just reappear the next day and it starts again.
So instead I hide away like a big chicken, because I just can't cope anymore.
I feel as if my life is being taken away from me because I am unable to cope and I am not strong or brave enough to speak my mind.
I have this fear of confrontation, and what people will do to me if I stand my ground.
I feel so sad and stupid for feeling and behaving like this.
But I just can't handle it.
Thanks for listening, and sorry for the eye strain.
Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.
[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'