Too much of a chicken

[stimpy]

Sorry about the eye strain, everyone. This looks like being a long post.

It all started 2 weeks ago when my youngest child made friends with some new kids living around the corner. Who are a lot older than him.
Since then I feel like I am being - for want of a better word, storked.

At first it was nice that my son had made a friend, who has other siblings closer to his own age. Some one to bike ride with and keep him amused, while I kept a watchful eye out from a safe distance.
But now I am unable to cope with it.

2 weeks ago it was a living hell!
It started at 9 am on a Monday morning. The door bell wrang. I asked why these children weren't at school, only to be told they were having "Sats revision day off".
I explained that my children weren't home, they were at school, and no they couldn't borrow my bike I was busy and shut the door.
From then on the letter box rattled, the door bell wrang and little faces stared in at me through the lounge window.

Unable to stand it anymore, I deadlocked all my doors and hid in the other room. - Thinking to myself, if they can't see me they will think I am out and go away. But no, it continued for hours.

The next day continued pretty much the same.
I told them my kids were at school, no they couldn't borrow my bike. I wasn't feeling well and I wanted a rest.
I hid on the sofa under a blanket, thinking if they think I am asleep, they will leave me alone. But no.
Even the neighbourhood watch lady came out and told them to stop climbing on my gate and banging the windows.

The next day I bought some very long net curtains so that these peering faces couldn't see me. All the time wondering why these kids weren't at school. In the end I opened the window and told them to go away.

I bought a huge bolt for my gate with a combination padlock so that my youngest son wouldn't be able to open the gate and swamp me with youngesters asking 20 questions and pestering me to let them have a go of my bike.

I feel constantly watched. If I go in the garden I'm on my guard because these kids stand behind the gate, watching me through the cracks in the wood.
Now I don't want to go out incase they are there waiting and watching.
When I go in the lounge I am unable to settle, because I am waiting for faces to appear, trying to open my windows or constantly ringing the door bell.

If I go for a walk, my little friend from down the road always seems to be there and there is no escape. My youngest son then wants to play, and it starts all over again. Despite the fact they know I am not well and I just want to go home and rest. They don't take the hint.
They even wait outside the house at 3pm because they know I will have to leave the house to collect the children from school.

I feel like I am living in a goldfish bowl.
I was told to be mean and nasty, I have tried, but they never listen as I am obviously not nasty enough, and they just reappear the next day and it starts again.
So instead I hide away like a big chicken, because I just can't cope anymore.

I feel as if my life is being taken away from me because I am unable to cope and I am not strong or brave enough to speak my mind.

I have this fear of confrontation, and what people will do to me if I stand my ground.
I feel so sad and stupid for feeling and behaving like this.
But I just can't handle it.

Thanks for listening, and sorry for the eye strain.




Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'

[twister]

That's awful Liz - have you not tried talking to their parents or calling the police - if they are not at school then surely something can be done about this!

Emily

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit
Understanding is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad

[kate]

Hiya Liz

I too also cannot cope with confrontation, even when I know I'm in the right as of course you are.

I agree with Emily. First stop, the parents. Do you know them well or hardly at all?

If you cant face them yourself, would your hubby be prepared to have a word on your behalf?

I think this would be the best action at present.

Let us know how you get on.

Kate x

[stimpy]

I tried the firm but fair approach. Sticking to once sentance and repeating it firmly.
If I said "Stevie said no" once, then I said it 16 times.

I also had a little word with my youngest son.
Which scared the daylights out of him, but that seemed to work too.
After 20 minutes of being told I was being mean for not letting him play with his friend. I told him that busy main roads are very dangerous. If he walked in to the road outside the house he may be lucky and not get squished but if he walked in to the main road he WOULD get squished and I would never see him again. Which is why he is not to leave the street with anyone except us. I explained that should he fall over and hurt himself or get scared then no one would be able to help him, but if he stayed close to home then all his neighbours could see him and help to keep him safe.
So, when asked if he was coming outside to play. My little boy said "no he was helping mummy water the garden!"

Yesterday was my first day of peace for ages - so it must have worked!

Next job is to make my gate climb proof. I don't know how they are climbing up an 8 foot gate, but I will find out and put an end to it.

As a small neighbourhood all the parents know each other but as he is new here, I don't know his parents at all.

I found out from my neighbour that 3 people in the street had phoned the Educational Officer last week and that he attended school yesterday, as a taxi picked him up and brought him home. - Could it be coincidence or did the phone calls get a result?
Not that it makes a difference, as they are off on holiday next week anyway!

I think you are right though, if firm but fair doesn't work I am going to have to pop round and visit his family, or ask someone to do it on my behalf.

I don't know, modern youth of today. 9 Years old, smoking, drinking, skipping school and smoking dope - what is this world coming too!

Thanks for your advice, lets hope the days of peace continue.

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'