Janeeey
10-06-12, 16:01
I have since having CBT and counselling early last year (after 3 years of HA) had major improvements with my condition - not cured but so much better. My fears generally being gynae cancers and occassional breast and bowel.
A few weeks ago I plucked up the courage of having final gynae tests - mt gynae suggested smear and biopsy of uterus. All very scary, but aside from occassional blip I was very calm and able to use my CBT knowledge.
Tests results all ok - what is odd is that whilst I was relived for all of 5 minutes I instantly became fixated with bowel cancer. This is due I know to bleeding after BM - which I have had for years and my husband who bless him is always happy to 'have a look' assures me it is a fissure.
Just over a week ago I then developed a sick bug (my husband had it too as did most of my family) .. they are still suffering as am I so common sense would say it was just a nasty bug. But I seem to have lost all my rationale thoughts!
The bug seems to come and go but is still hear and now I have tonsillitus to boot! I feel very poorly - but you can imagine the fear re bowel cancer going through my mind. I also have that familiar creeping feeling of anxiety coming over me - do you know what I mean by that?
I'm not 'back' to where I once was but I am concerned - already I don't want my husband to work tomorrow which of course he has to. I feel very frustrated this is happening and my husband is suggesting maybe I consider going back on my meds which would seem a big step back for me.
I know this is a ramble but any wise words appreciated :)
A few weeks ago I plucked up the courage of having final gynae tests - mt gynae suggested smear and biopsy of uterus. All very scary, but aside from occassional blip I was very calm and able to use my CBT knowledge.
Tests results all ok - what is odd is that whilst I was relived for all of 5 minutes I instantly became fixated with bowel cancer. This is due I know to bleeding after BM - which I have had for years and my husband who bless him is always happy to 'have a look' assures me it is a fissure.
Just over a week ago I then developed a sick bug (my husband had it too as did most of my family) .. they are still suffering as am I so common sense would say it was just a nasty bug. But I seem to have lost all my rationale thoughts!
The bug seems to come and go but is still hear and now I have tonsillitus to boot! I feel very poorly - but you can imagine the fear re bowel cancer going through my mind. I also have that familiar creeping feeling of anxiety coming over me - do you know what I mean by that?
I'm not 'back' to where I once was but I am concerned - already I don't want my husband to work tomorrow which of course he has to. I feel very frustrated this is happening and my husband is suggesting maybe I consider going back on my meds which would seem a big step back for me.
I know this is a ramble but any wise words appreciated :)