Hi I'm Crazy Charlotte, but I know I am?!!!

[charliegirl]

Hi all, Hope everyone is doin ok? This website is fantastic!!!! I have suffered from varying degrees of anxiety and depression since I was 15. It started with a bout of depression in december 1997. I'd had the flu and I suppose that's what instigated the depression. I was given prozac and it was an absolute nitemare!!!! I discovered I was allergic to prozac, I couldn't eat, sleep, sit or talk. I was trapped inside a world of aggitation, frustration, confusion and extreme fear. What was happening to me? Only a few weeks before I had been an outgoing, confident, sassy teenager, now I was scared sh"!@?!s. I was completely convinced I was going crazy, and as you all know, that is an extremely scary prospect to anyone who is sane, { and you all are!!!} Anyway,.... This is when I started to suffer from a very mild form of panic. I came off the prozac but I am an extremely obsesssional thinker and I just couldn't get the prozac nitemare out of my system. I was then 16 and went to my GP who refered me to a Psychologist. From the age of 16 through to 18 I struggled most days and as a result I missed alot of school. I play trumpet and used to be in several different orchestras but the anxiety attacks were becoming more frequent and so I had to resign myself to the fact that I was going to have to quit. I couldn't cope with the symptoms, the racey heart, palpitations etc.... I am 24 now and I am prob at the worst I've ever been. At the moment I am a complete agrophobic who is pretty much constantly in a state of arousal. I take Amitriptyline to help me sleep as a night dose and I'm back on the beta-blockers. I don't socialise, I can't speak to people on the phone. It's a living hell, that many of you can prob relate to. I can't use buses, taxis, trains and I flipped out last year trying to fly back from Dublin and I panicked on the plane and the captian had to taxi back to the gates so I could get off. This is when my panic escalated and it's the reason I am so bad now. After the plane incident, I had an accident in my car, so I no longer drive either. In the last couple of years I've lost my sister to a long term illness, { which was never discussed as being fatal!} I've lost my job working with Autistism, my new flat, my car, my friends. So I've pretty much hit an all time low. My mum's health is also extremely poor and my step dad has just had a triple heart bypass so I suppose the majority of my anxiety disorder is "Health anxiety?!" Any way I am rambling on a bit aren't I?!!! I'm good at that!! LOL! So here I am! Mum found an article in her mag about this website and that's when I came across it a couple of days ago. Wish my pschciatrist had suggested it!!!


I can empathise with all who use this website and I am hoping that I can contribute and possibly relieve others of their pain and suffering?
[:o)]

[chucklehound]

Welcome to the forum

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[clickaway]

Welcome to the site, Charlie.

You certainly seem to be having a tough time, and I hope that by being here, you will feel more comfortable and realise that you can be better given the right treatment.

Has any form of therapy been suggested to you?

Take Care,


Ray
http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

[manmoor]

Hi Charlie,

A big warm welcome to you.

Take Care

Mandy

xx

[EebyJeeby]

Welcome to NMP charliegirl. Glad to have you on board!

I'm sure that you'll find a lot of support here and be able to offer support to others.

Eeb x

[polly daydream]

Hi Charliegirl and welcome to the forum, you have come to the right place.

Best wishes,

Polly

[charliegirl]

Hey guys!!! Thanks V much for all your support and kind comments. I really appreciate them. Unfortunatley I'm somewhat of a old veteran when it comes to being anxiuos!!. I've learnt quite alot of helpful, useful and reassuring techniques and tips on coping and I hope that they will be of use to some people? As you will agree anxiety disorders of any kind is not something you would wish on your worst enemy!!

I'm always here to help if I can?
Thankyou once again.
xxxx

[Karen]

Hi Charliegirl

Welcome to the forum.

Karen



Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey

[trac67]

Hi Charlie,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.

Take care

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[Daisybun]

Hi Charlie and welcome. Wow you have been through a lot haven't you? There's lots of help and support here and you can share ideas and tips together. It is great to be able to chat and share with people who are going through similar experiences, it really helps to know you're not lone doesn't it? Anyway a big warm welcome

Take care
Daisybun

'This too will pass'

[Two heads]

Hi charlie welcome!
Loads of nice people hear to moan and chat to when nobody else will listen hunxx

[marie ross]

Hi Charlie,

Welcome to the forum, you will find a lot of good help in here and people who are willing to listen.

Take care.

Marie XXX

[giddy]

Welcome to the forum Charlie
love helen

[mom12234]

Hey dont ever give up cos agoraphobics and people with panic disorder get better with age We may panic alot but the enjoyment you get from overcoming the smallest milestone is so much better than the so called normal people Sad is really sad but happy is really happy the feelings are so intense and that is not bad either Never apologise for the empathy you feel it is such a gift I am on meds now and I do think that the intense joy from really simple things is missing but the horror of panic is not there either It is a bonus We are all different but it is so refreshing to know that there are many people with the samer feelings as us

maree

[Clare_63]

Welcome to the forum Charliegirl. I'm a newby too but have found lots off good advice here

Clare x

[shell100]

oh bless charliegirl
ur really going thru it!
i completely agree with mom12234
im also agoraphobia, have been for 7 years, as my psychiatrist said to me "it waxes & it wanes.....see u in 8 weeks"
i thought to hell with you mrs!
you have lots of things going on around you that would knock anyone sideways & ur still battling so that says mountains for u ;)
there is recovery for us out there, but its a struggle & a fight. when people ask me why im frightened to go anywhere i say "how would u feel if i said i was gonna push u out of a plane without a parachute...pretty scared hey? well thats how i feel walking down the road"... the rationale is all out of sync but the feelings are still exactly the same!
i talk to people on here who have been where i am now & have got to leading a life that can be called a life instead of an existence & its great thinking IF U CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT TOO!
keep talking & congratulate urself on eveyr little triumph..forget the times u cant do something....
hugs & love
shell
xxxx

[nichiren]

Ditto to the other comments... You have been through the mill... DONT give up the fight, girl... Panic/anxiety has the horrible and incredibly effective ability to imprint in our minds all of the situations, places, activities etc that we have experienced a panic state in, and then our survival instinct makes us avoid those things... it's totally natural... Most people go through life with a "bit" of bad luck, but some people do get a lot of bad luck, and couple this with perhaps a sensitive nature, and you can find your thinking patterns being damaged by repeated negative experiences...

I know you actually WANT to be able to do all the things you feel you currently can't... that's a good thing. It proves your conscious higher mind knows the problem is hidden deeper in your subconscious... so it's just amatter of time before you figure out ways to start reprogramming your thinking... You may not feel like it for a month, a year, a decade, but there will come a time, when you will feel like taking action to improve your life... There is no hurry, and nobody is keeping score - least of all you!

Just be kind to yourself, keep chatting to the lovely people here - and develop a defiant stand against that part of your brain that you KNOW is causing your problems.

My life changed totally when I went through all this... and my most recent episode over the past few months, has reminded me again that most so called friends are really no more than aquaintances...

Once thing about people here that is generally true, is that most of us have been there, got the tshirt etc... we are also generally more compassionate because of this... People like us simply "feel the world" more... so we think more... which probably gets us into trouble!!! The answer isn't to be hard, like the rest of the world - it's simply to surround yourself with more beauty - be that physical, or emotional/spiritual/artistically... The world can sometimes seem like you're facing a great storm... but as even the greatest pilots will attest - if you're in the air, then fly around it, and if your on the ground, STAY THERE and let the storm pass before trying to take off again!

I'm typing too much...

Much love and best wishes

Steve

To truly see existence as it really is, would be the greatest gift!

[nomorepanic]

Charlie

Welcome aboard and lovely to see you here.

Hope you get some great help here and advice.

Nicola

[jodi78148]

Welcome!! I am new too. I was searching the internet for any help, which I do alot and found this site. It really is great to know that you aren't alone. I don't know that much on agrophobic, but you did mention alot of things I can relate too. I have had anxiety and some panic since 18, so about 7 years. I have the ultimate fear of lossing my mind everytime I get an episode. It is the scariest and worst feeling and you feel so alone. Everytime I start to feel too bad I come on here to try to help others and get some advice and it seems to help. And we both know we would never wish this on our own worst enemy. I love the theory that we all planned our own life out to learn certain things and to become stronger in areas. Its funny when I think that I also think, what the heck was i thinking. But you would never give yourself more than you could handle. You are sooo brave, we all are. We deal with the ultimate fear everyday of our lives and we still go on. Sorry I am rambling but I thought maybe those words would help. Stay strong, you have many people willing to help.[^]

[jodi78148]

Welcome!! I am new too. I was searching the internet for any help, which I do alot and found this site. It really is great to know that you aren't alone. I don't know that much on agrophobic, but you did mention alot of things I can relate too. I have had anxiety and some panic since 18, so about 7 years. I have the ultimate fear of lossing my mind everytime I get an episode. It is the scariest and worst feeling and you feel so alone. Everytime I start to feel too bad I come on here to try to help others and get some advice and it seems to help. And we both know we would never wish this on our own worst enemy. I love the theory that we all planned our own life out to learn certain things and to become stronger in areas. Its funny when I think that I also think, what the heck was i thinking. But you would never give yourself more than you could handle. You are sooo brave, we all are. We deal with the ultimate fear everyday of our lives and we still go on. Sorry I am rambling but I thought maybe those words would help. Stay strong, you have many people willing to help.[^]

[saty100]

hi charliegirl
i do sympathise with you...but joining nmp is a good step for you as i think it has been for me(only joined about a month ago)...good luck and hope everything works out for you..

[kittykat]

Hi there Charlie

:welcome: to the site , such a lot of good advice here, it really helps a lot, take care xx

[weeble40]

Hi and a big welcome to NMP its great to have you here, hope to see you in chat sometime,

Take care

Emma xxx

[mrsmidgley]

Hi Charlie,

I am new on here too.. and totally understand how you are feeling hun. I am on beta blockers too for my panic attacks, and i cant go anywhere on my own anymore :weep: . I have to go out with the hubby or my children ...i guess i use them as a crutch. Buses..well forget them.. i can do a short journey IF im with someone..but wont venture on one on my own. I sit and sometimes cry when im in a car. as ive been in a car accident before and im convinced im going to die in a car crash. Im agrophobic hun, and will not go out of the house.. unless im with someone..and its getitng me down so so much. So (((hugs))) to you and i hope you can get through this. I am going to counselling so hope that works :) .

Love and hugs

Tracie. xxxx