JESTER OF BROKEN HEARTS

[hurtssomuch]

Translucent images of a self-perceived worth, morals corrupt with ebon thoughts, a dance mockery to my own humanity, what makes me the torrent vestige imposed upon today’s populace, a self imposed victim of mans atrocities, a killer of self, molester of my own innocence, rapist of my own soul, I throw myself into a court as jester, when all else proclaim themselves kings, I am the creator of my own sorrow, the smithy who pounds out my own suffering upon the anvil of life, burnt and bitter with the thoughts of what could have been, and that which was not, for “I am” a parody to the word called love, not even crowned as the king of fools, for I am the jester of broken hearts.



this is not my usual style of writing, ive been hurt before but something is different this time, i seemed to have picked up a sort of self depravating Sinicism in my words, this last heart break has made me take a good look inward, i am starting to see that i set myself up for most of the pain i suffer, i guess my little inner demon has come back, so once again i have to tarvel a road i fear, inward, though ive never loved myself, i must find that small haven where my self worth lies and release it again, because in my mind i no i am not worthless, and i no i am loved and cared for by others, for who i am, and i need to find that again, otherwise soon i will be writing my own epitat.


the tears i cry will forever be in vein

[Daisybun]

Oh Ed, you write so beautifully, but it is so sad. I really hope you find your self worth, because you are not worthless, we are all special, we all have gifts and there are things planned for our lives - just take refuge in that thought. You are loved and people do care for you, you need to allow it and release your inner demon.

Take care
Daisybun

'This too will pass'