View Full Version : Do you tell people about your anxiety?
I am very much so in two minds on this topic.. I can't decide if I should just explain to all of my friends the issues so that they are aware of it just incase or if I should continue to keep it to myself. Something inside of me instinictively doesn't want to tell people in fear of being laughed at or people thinking I am being overly dramatic... Do you all tell people about it? I have has panic/anxiety attacks around friends who were unaware and were very confused at the time what was wrong with me.. Also, do you think I should inform my school? Like about the medication I am on and the fact that I am hopefully going to be seeing a councillor type person? All responses are very welcome!!
Hi Hun,
It's a tough call really and a very personal choice. Sometimes those closest to us need to know so that they can try to understand what is happening to us. For example, I have had panic attacks at work and had time off sick with extreme anxiety, therefore it was best for me that my colleagues knew my situation. They now understand why I don't often accept social invitations too. They have all been very supportive. Also, my close family all know too. I find it easier now that things are 'out in the open' and I can talk freely about my condition. Obviously there are people that don't need to know so I have only chosen to tell those closest to me or those who have witnessed me having an attack.
I think it may be a good idea to tell the school, especially if you are on medication or may miss classes due to the counselling. Otherwise it's your call who you choose to tell, but sometimes offloading can be a blessing in disguise. It's awful to have to hide things and I found it actually made me more anxious. They won't always get it, but it may help them to be better equipped to support you. Good luck in whatever you decide to do. Kitti :)
My family/friends all know about my anxiety as it has been with me for so long.
When I am out now and people ask me questions like"where do you work?" I reply by telling them that I am not working at the moment due to mental illness, if they ask for details, I tell them that I have panic attacks, most people understand.
Someone who lives on the same street as me asked me yesterday 'Are you still having driving lessons'. Again I explained that I had stopped for the moment as I was suffering from anxiety.
It is a personal choice.
It's usually one of those things I don't like sharing with everyone I know , just close friends/family who I trust & spend most of my time around.
I wouldn't hesitate to tell someone if I was out & felt panicky (even if they didn't know I suffer with attacks) most people are really nice about it if they are good people , & if they say anything negative just reply with "well I hope u experience it one day , then u will regret saying that"
Always gets people thinking , I said that to one certain person , who a few days later rang me up apologising after they had googled it & found out how common it is & how ill people can be from it.
Mental health is nothing to be ashamed of , but like any illness , don't go shouting it from the rooftops , tell people if they need to know. :)
---------- Post added at 02:55 ---------- Previous post was at 02:52 ----------
Also , yes it is a good idea to tell your school about your meds so that if u get seen taking them they are not mistaken for illegal drugs.
Tell your form teacher , explain that it's a private matter & u only wish to disclose the information to her & other teachers. U tell your friends as and when u feel appropriate.
Hellington Boots
18-06-12, 12:18
I have shared it with some close friends and family. I find it hard though as often once I have told people I spend a lot of time worrying about whether they are judging me or what they might be thinking. This makes me quite upset and adds to my anxiety further, so I find it a difficult balance!
xxx
My family's reaction is "you seem fine to me", "poor darling"... Er, no family, take a look in my head and you certainly won't be saying that. I have one friend who also has panic, but I've talked with her loads of times but the overriding impression is "but no one understands me, I'm much worse than you, you have no idea, everything's so hard for me", so I end up helping people with no help back. That's why it's an invisible illness. All the other people I know would not have a clue. I've learned to deal with this on my own. It probably depends on the sort of people you know though, I can imagine an anxiety support group would be very comforting.
anxietyoverload
18-06-12, 16:26
My closest friends, my partner and my parents know! and they are all very supportive!
I often turn to my friends for advise and they reassure me as they know what im going through.
My partner knows just what im like, if i start talking about something, for example a lump he will automatically feel it and say ''No Amy you not dying'' and we can laugh about it together as i know how much i over react about the smallest things xx
I would tell them because more often then you think people will have suffered or know something about it! especially as we get older. They many understand you more if you explain it. Good luck and I hope it foes well. Also check out my blog as might help your decision: http://iwillbeatanxiety.blogspot.co.uk/
Thank you all for your comments, I have told several of my friends but I havent found them very helpful or supportive.. I have one particular friend who has behaved... oddly after me telling her. She has always done things that I have never understood, but when I informed her of my terrible anxiety and panic attacks she started basically telling me how she had been through it all and worse but never told anyone... and I felt very stupid because she made me feel like I was being silly making a big deal of it telling her about it and everything, and since then I have been put off telling people. Also, I don't actually take my tablets during school hours so should I still like inform my guidance teacher? My mum seems to think not... Please help!!
Thank you all for your comments, I have told several of my friends but I havent found them very helpful or supportive.. I have one particular friend who has behaved... oddly after me telling her. She has always done things that I have never understood, but when I informed her of my terrible anxiety and panic attacks she started basically telling me how she had been through it all and worse but never told anyone... and I felt very stupid because she made me feel like I was being silly making a big deal of it telling her about it and everything, and since then I have been put off telling people. Also, I don't actually take my tablets during school hours so should I still like inform my guidance teacher? My mum seems to think not... Please help!!
Exactly - when you told the friend she said she's had it all and worse - I don't get why people do that, she probably doesn't have a clue how you feel and then makes you feel worse. I hate people.
Hello, :)
I am a first year in university now and I didn't know that I had anxiety problems until I actually came here and decided to see what was going on. At first I didn't tell anyone but I had significant problems like lack of concentration, bad mood that could make me cry out of nowhere, I was avoiding clubs etc which made people wonder what has happening with me and sometimes they also got things wrong. Plus, my course is based on imagination in which case I had to connect emotion to a place to create a whole new space which I couldn't possibly do as I wouldn't feel anything at all, anywhere. That's the basic reason why I almost failed my first semester.
When I decided to talk to my tutor I was in two minds too as I didn't want them to think I'm being dramatic or even that I'm saying it because of the mark I got. Hopefully the head of the year who I was sent to had a similar problem and was VERY understanding to me, same for my group tutor although he hadn't experienced something like that before. They worked with me even after the lesson to find the problem and try different ways to make me cooperate and work with the project. Looking back I am extremely and undoubtably happy that I decided to tell them cause they are just lovely (you'll probably hear me saying that many many times as I'm just in love with them all :P *random comment*).
When it comes to frineds though, only 2 of them actually know about it. They are the 2 people I thought I can trust and have helped me the most. In my oppinion, you don't need to tell everyone about it as many people aren't mature enough to understand. Find some people that will be relatively accepting (if you can't find someone you trust) and tell them about it so in case something happens they can be there to help you/be with you etc. For me (it's a girl and and a guy both from my course and year the people who know) they kinda act like really caring parents sometimes which I appreciate a lot. :)
Best of luck! :)
Exactly - when you told the friend she said she's had it all and worse - I don't get why people do that, she probably doesn't have a clue how you feel and then makes you feel worse. I hate people.
Have you ever experienced someone doing that? It seems so weird, like as thought we are in some kind of weird competition with each other that I am not wanting to be involved in! She is one of my best friends but now I feel like I can't tell her anything because I end up feeling more upset from speaking to her!
Nantia, I am very jealous of you! I am very into English and I am currently doing it at advanced higher level at school (Scottish exams), I find it difficult to write prose fiction as I am worried that if I really write down things that I have an emotional connection with they will judge me/laugh at me... I know it sounds silly! I think my mum and dad think that if I tell the school I am just trying to attract attention.. which I am not but I don't want it to seem like that! Plus I don't know how my teachers will react, like it might be more trouble and hassle than its worth!
I think my mum and dad think that if I tell the school I am just trying to attract attention.. which I am not but I don't want it to seem like that! Plus I don't know how my teachers will react, like it might be more trouble and hassle than its worth!
QUOTE = Exactly what my parents told me when I went home and mentioned that I want to inform my tutors. . . In fact my parents don't believe me when I say I have a problem even if I was diagnosed with it and even shout at me that I'm trying to find problems to complain about. . . I still haven't found the courage to properly tell them, which is another story.
Well, I would say this is upto you. I had nothing to lose as, if I didn't tell them I would fail the second semester for sure, which just didn't happen now. What you can do is try to approach a teacher you're quite familiar with and ask if you should tell the rest or not. I don't think they'll turn you down though if you explain yourself properly. For example I kinda had to describe what I felt in order to make them understand to some extend how bad it can be.
My parents reaction frustrates me, and I know they mean well but for some reason they don't seem to see me as having an issue, as the majority of time I have had a horrible panic attack, they haven't been there - and I think they believe my descriptions of it are over exaggerated and attention seeking. They have never said this to me but, I get a strong feeling from them. Do you think there is much to benefit from telling a teacher? I have one teacher I am very good friends with, and I would feel very comfortable talking to her. but I dont know if it would do more harm than good!
Hmmm, I told you, that's upto you if you're going to take the risk or not. Try to think of the positive and negative things that it might result to. Is there anything you have to lose by doing that? Is there something they can help you with?
A good teacher knows how to keep the student's personal issues secret. Is the person you think of that kind of person?
My reason of telling my tutors was the fact that I needed an alternative way of working and they were the only ones who could help with that. On the other hand I didn't know any of them at all and I was scared they might think I'm just showing off or something. What they did instead was get mad at me cause I didn't tell them earlier. So I can't really tell unless I know the person and the situation exactly. :/
I agree once you tell people about anxiety they usually try to be helpful but it never helps. You need somebody who really has the same experience to feel sympathy at least. I prefer not to tell but keep close to people who make me smile and busy with something else than my thoughts.
I've told my parents and boyfriend, who are all very supportive. My parents have both had similar experiences so they completely understand what I'm going through. Can problems such as this be inherited?
My boyfriend has been brilliant although I don't think he understands fully what I'm going through at the moment. I've only just admitted that I have a problem so everything's very raw at the moment. He's been treating me exactly the same as usual which is helpful as talking about it too much seems to make it worse somehow.
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