smalltrace
18-06-12, 14:46
Hi everyone
I'm something of a lurker mainly here. Have been reading several of the threads a day for the last few weeks. I joined the forum quite a long time back but didn't really use it much. At the time I was a moderator on a game site, voluntary, but it took up a lot of my time, which is why I didn't tend to come here. I have since quit and now have much more time on my hands.
I'm agoraphobic, I think I have a social phobic issue also. Plus general anxiety. I seem to worry myself silly over just about anything recently. Things have got much worse since the death of my best friend and ex b/f back in October, I was the unfortunate person to have to find him. He was also my neighbour.
I have some long standing physical problems, painful bladder syndrome and vulvadynia, ibs to name just a few. The bladder problem started when I was 21 (now 35), it had a massively negative impact on my already mild agoraphobia. That had first started when I was still in school and got very bad when I was 17-18. I worked very hard on my own to improve it and then managed to go to college. Unfortunately when my bladder problems began all my hard work was undone and the fear grew from struggling to go out alone (but able to go anywhere with someone I knew), into not being able to go out even with someone. It became a problem of fixating on my bladder and the urge to use the toilet, with a fear I would have an accident. This fear continues. The furthest I can go alone is to the local convince shop about 5 mins ish away. It takes me ages to mentally prepare myself to even do that. I struggle to even see family away from home, and whilst I find it much easier to have people visit me - even this causes me anxiety.
I feel a lot like I have been let down by the mental health service, for which I am currently not under. They discharged me around 3 years ago just as I was about to start some graded exposure work. I fort like hell with pals and my GP backing to try and get it back, but all attempts failed. I was told to get my own counselling (they did provide information for 2 places which provided low cost counselling), I did take that up at the time and had around 24 sessions which was the max you could have. Sadly it seemed half those sessions were working on trying to get me through the upset of what the mental health service had done.
I was referred to Time to Talk (cbt, group work, counselling programme) last year around September. I was not accepted and just sent a letter saying I was unsuitable for their programme.
I just want to get better, and I honestly don't think I will find the way to from the NHS. So I'm here to try and help myself really. I have over the years received some help from the mental health team, but this was not always about anxiety as such as I also had a eating disorder, self harm issues and attempted suicide several times.
I'll leave it there, could rabbit on for hours lol
I'm something of a lurker mainly here. Have been reading several of the threads a day for the last few weeks. I joined the forum quite a long time back but didn't really use it much. At the time I was a moderator on a game site, voluntary, but it took up a lot of my time, which is why I didn't tend to come here. I have since quit and now have much more time on my hands.
I'm agoraphobic, I think I have a social phobic issue also. Plus general anxiety. I seem to worry myself silly over just about anything recently. Things have got much worse since the death of my best friend and ex b/f back in October, I was the unfortunate person to have to find him. He was also my neighbour.
I have some long standing physical problems, painful bladder syndrome and vulvadynia, ibs to name just a few. The bladder problem started when I was 21 (now 35), it had a massively negative impact on my already mild agoraphobia. That had first started when I was still in school and got very bad when I was 17-18. I worked very hard on my own to improve it and then managed to go to college. Unfortunately when my bladder problems began all my hard work was undone and the fear grew from struggling to go out alone (but able to go anywhere with someone I knew), into not being able to go out even with someone. It became a problem of fixating on my bladder and the urge to use the toilet, with a fear I would have an accident. This fear continues. The furthest I can go alone is to the local convince shop about 5 mins ish away. It takes me ages to mentally prepare myself to even do that. I struggle to even see family away from home, and whilst I find it much easier to have people visit me - even this causes me anxiety.
I feel a lot like I have been let down by the mental health service, for which I am currently not under. They discharged me around 3 years ago just as I was about to start some graded exposure work. I fort like hell with pals and my GP backing to try and get it back, but all attempts failed. I was told to get my own counselling (they did provide information for 2 places which provided low cost counselling), I did take that up at the time and had around 24 sessions which was the max you could have. Sadly it seemed half those sessions were working on trying to get me through the upset of what the mental health service had done.
I was referred to Time to Talk (cbt, group work, counselling programme) last year around September. I was not accepted and just sent a letter saying I was unsuitable for their programme.
I just want to get better, and I honestly don't think I will find the way to from the NHS. So I'm here to try and help myself really. I have over the years received some help from the mental health team, but this was not always about anxiety as such as I also had a eating disorder, self harm issues and attempted suicide several times.
I'll leave it there, could rabbit on for hours lol