Can't go to house!

[natalier]

I have recently started dating this guy (been with him over a month now). I live about 15 min drive away from his house. He has been to mine plenty of times but I just can't make myself go to his. I have tried driving to his twice but both times I had to turn around because I feel horrible, feel like I will go crazy, feel panicky and just horrible. I don't want to loose him as previous relationships have been bad and he seems like a genually nice guy. He does understand but for how long... I can't keep not going to his house. He has no experience with anxiety or panic attacks so doesn't really understand what it is like to suffer one.

Basically, I just want to know any tips you can give me? I want to be able to do it! I used to be able to go places but it keeps getting worse, and atm I am in a bad spell so yeah finding it hard. I think it is because it is a way I never go and so most of the 15 mins is in unknown place. He said he would come over and then I could follow him to his place but I don't know if that will help as I will still feel panicky.

Anyone else have this problem?

Thank you

[Hellington Boots]

Hi Natalier,

I sympathise with your situation, that sounds so frustrating! Would it help if he came to you and then took you with him to his?

Is it anything in particular that worries you about being at his? Perhaps as it's his home you feel less in control, or is just fear of somewhere new?

Have you considered CBT at all?

xxxx

[natalier]

Yeah i think it is because it is somewhere new... I don't know the route at all. I can;t deal with others taking me as not in control... and as for CBT am on waiting list atmx

[Hellington Boots]

Could you perhaps plan the route and then gradually practice it with a friend? The main thing is your boyfriend understands so try not to panic. Having someone who get be supportive is half the battle. Let him know that you are doing everything you can to try and cope with this issue and he will be patient I'm sure. CBT should help a lot try not to stress yourself out about it!



xxx

[PanchoGoz]

Weigh up the options and look ahead - If you don't go, you are avoiding pushing yourself, you feel bad about not going, but if you do go, you will have beat your anxiety, once you have been there once, even if you are anxious, you have managed to do and you won't feel so bad the next time. Consider getting there, staying there just an hour and think of the good it will do for your recovery. It won't be scary once you've done it once, so if you can jump the hurdle, you're over the worst :)