Magik
18-06-12, 22:13
And I was almost positive I had found my triggers.
I am a sufferer of panic disorder and Agoraphobia, have been for about 3 years. I think I was sort of misdiagnosed, cause I seem to have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, but sometimes, they say anxiety and panic are the same things? When I have my attacks, I'd give them a nine or ten out of a possible ten because most times, even with meds, I always went to the hospital Er thinking I was having "The one." Heart attack or some other kind of major problem, because it physically works me up to the point of not being able to breath at all.
Well, August of last year, I decided to quit smoking, cut way back on my caffeine intake...and everything was perfect. I even got off the Zoloft and was medication free for Nine months. ((The brain zaps were terrible.))
No Sign of panic attacks, no problems...
And then like at the beginning of this week, it all came back, worse than ever. I had thought I'd be free of it all. I don't even know what might be causing any of it again. I've had like four people I was close to die in like the last four months, but I mourned and that should be the end of that. Unless subconsciously, I'm afraid I'll suffer the same fate.
It feels like I"m a failure to myself. I mean, why did they come back out o the blue? Why can't I get a handle on them? I have to take some Xanax the doctor had given me for whenever a panic attack might have struck. So I take one or two of those a day now. I've had an attack everyday. And then when I do try to handle them myself..and I could before...I start hyperventilating and unable to stop myself. :weep:
I've been to a Psychologist, We've tried to find my triggers, but it hits me at the worst possible times, like when Im out having dinner with people. people who don't stress me out or cause me problems, when I'm relaxing at night, the stupidest times for people to suggest I might be stressed...and there's always the worry that there's an underlying problem...I do have GERD and Crohn's Disease, after all.
I mean, I keep thinking it might not be panic attacks, they last me at least two hours...Whereas most panic attacks, so far as I've read, last at the most or peak in ten minutes? And are over in about a half hour. When it does happen, it starts as if I feel like I can't pull enough air into my lungs and i can't breath deeply and hardly at all. Which is what scares me the most. Then I get dizzy and heart palpitations sometimes and my hands get cold and clammy. And like I said it lasts for hours. If I don't take anything for it, I always wind up in the ER or feeling like I'm going to pass out badly.
I used to rely on this site way back when I needed someone to talk to, or tried to help people as best as I could. I guess the reason I'm here now is to reassure myself that it isn't some other health related problem. I keep telling myself that I"ve had ekgs, blood tests, heart tests, etc...things are fine, but like everyone says, it feels so life threatening when it's happening...it's hard to believe it's just panic. Anxiety.
I need to find something that can work for me. Breathing exercises seem to make me think about HOW I"m breathing way too easily and stress me out. I do like reading books, someone said Claire Weekes is really good. Maybe someone can recommend one of the books they've read that might be right up my alley to help with the breathing problem?
Any help is much appreciated. I'm just frustrated at myself for finding myself back in this rut. And I know that isn't helping. I feel like I"m struggling uphill again...and I hate walking up hills...but to get better, it's what we all have to do, right?
Oh, and on the last note...I have a doctor appointment on Thursday to see about some medications that might possibly get me through this hard time. If anyone has really bad anxiety/panic and knows of a medication that worked for them, without alot of scary side symptoms, please let me know so I can discuss it with my doctor. Thank you.
I am a sufferer of panic disorder and Agoraphobia, have been for about 3 years. I think I was sort of misdiagnosed, cause I seem to have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, but sometimes, they say anxiety and panic are the same things? When I have my attacks, I'd give them a nine or ten out of a possible ten because most times, even with meds, I always went to the hospital Er thinking I was having "The one." Heart attack or some other kind of major problem, because it physically works me up to the point of not being able to breath at all.
Well, August of last year, I decided to quit smoking, cut way back on my caffeine intake...and everything was perfect. I even got off the Zoloft and was medication free for Nine months. ((The brain zaps were terrible.))
No Sign of panic attacks, no problems...
And then like at the beginning of this week, it all came back, worse than ever. I had thought I'd be free of it all. I don't even know what might be causing any of it again. I've had like four people I was close to die in like the last four months, but I mourned and that should be the end of that. Unless subconsciously, I'm afraid I'll suffer the same fate.
It feels like I"m a failure to myself. I mean, why did they come back out o the blue? Why can't I get a handle on them? I have to take some Xanax the doctor had given me for whenever a panic attack might have struck. So I take one or two of those a day now. I've had an attack everyday. And then when I do try to handle them myself..and I could before...I start hyperventilating and unable to stop myself. :weep:
I've been to a Psychologist, We've tried to find my triggers, but it hits me at the worst possible times, like when Im out having dinner with people. people who don't stress me out or cause me problems, when I'm relaxing at night, the stupidest times for people to suggest I might be stressed...and there's always the worry that there's an underlying problem...I do have GERD and Crohn's Disease, after all.
I mean, I keep thinking it might not be panic attacks, they last me at least two hours...Whereas most panic attacks, so far as I've read, last at the most or peak in ten minutes? And are over in about a half hour. When it does happen, it starts as if I feel like I can't pull enough air into my lungs and i can't breath deeply and hardly at all. Which is what scares me the most. Then I get dizzy and heart palpitations sometimes and my hands get cold and clammy. And like I said it lasts for hours. If I don't take anything for it, I always wind up in the ER or feeling like I'm going to pass out badly.
I used to rely on this site way back when I needed someone to talk to, or tried to help people as best as I could. I guess the reason I'm here now is to reassure myself that it isn't some other health related problem. I keep telling myself that I"ve had ekgs, blood tests, heart tests, etc...things are fine, but like everyone says, it feels so life threatening when it's happening...it's hard to believe it's just panic. Anxiety.
I need to find something that can work for me. Breathing exercises seem to make me think about HOW I"m breathing way too easily and stress me out. I do like reading books, someone said Claire Weekes is really good. Maybe someone can recommend one of the books they've read that might be right up my alley to help with the breathing problem?
Any help is much appreciated. I'm just frustrated at myself for finding myself back in this rut. And I know that isn't helping. I feel like I"m struggling uphill again...and I hate walking up hills...but to get better, it's what we all have to do, right?
Oh, and on the last note...I have a doctor appointment on Thursday to see about some medications that might possibly get me through this hard time. If anyone has really bad anxiety/panic and knows of a medication that worked for them, without alot of scary side symptoms, please let me know so I can discuss it with my doctor. Thank you.