Halcyon
19-06-12, 01:32
A few months ago, I banged my head and suffered a bad concussion which lasted over a week. Now, I'm going through the same again.
First, I used to have a problem with hitting myself so I've taken a lot of blows on the head over the years. In fact, that's what caused this (I don't do it much these days but lost it last Wednesday and hit myself in the right temple two or three times). I massively regret doing this and really wish I could turn back the clock and stop myself, because I'm certainly paying the price now.
So, it hurt when I did it and the after-effects don't seem to have worn off. The pain has mainly subsided (though the other side of my head hurts now) but other symptoms are troubling me. As before, the world seems somehow 'strange' as though I am slightly removed from it, something resembling derealisation. More worryingly, I've been feeling dizzy and nauseous all weekend and this just won't go away.
When this happened earlier in the year, I got in a state about it and ended up going to hospital twice. They eventually gave me a brain scan, which came back clear. While I don't want to have to do that again, is there any other way of finding out if I'm ok and being able to try to put my mind at rest? Right now, I feel like crying and I almost had a panic attack earlier.
This is the first time I have shared this with anyone, even my counsellor. It was so hard to say I inflicted this on myself that I lied and said it was 'psychosomatic' stuff that was making me dizzy. The only other person I could tell is my mum, and she may react badly if and when I tell her. On the other hand, she is the only person who would drive me to hospital if necessary so it's probably best she knows.
In summary, how can I make sure I'm ok and what is the best way of breaking this to my mum?
First, I used to have a problem with hitting myself so I've taken a lot of blows on the head over the years. In fact, that's what caused this (I don't do it much these days but lost it last Wednesday and hit myself in the right temple two or three times). I massively regret doing this and really wish I could turn back the clock and stop myself, because I'm certainly paying the price now.
So, it hurt when I did it and the after-effects don't seem to have worn off. The pain has mainly subsided (though the other side of my head hurts now) but other symptoms are troubling me. As before, the world seems somehow 'strange' as though I am slightly removed from it, something resembling derealisation. More worryingly, I've been feeling dizzy and nauseous all weekend and this just won't go away.
When this happened earlier in the year, I got in a state about it and ended up going to hospital twice. They eventually gave me a brain scan, which came back clear. While I don't want to have to do that again, is there any other way of finding out if I'm ok and being able to try to put my mind at rest? Right now, I feel like crying and I almost had a panic attack earlier.
This is the first time I have shared this with anyone, even my counsellor. It was so hard to say I inflicted this on myself that I lied and said it was 'psychosomatic' stuff that was making me dizzy. The only other person I could tell is my mum, and she may react badly if and when I tell her. On the other hand, she is the only person who would drive me to hospital if necessary so it's probably best she knows.
In summary, how can I make sure I'm ok and what is the best way of breaking this to my mum?