View Full Version : My health anxiety and asbestos. Need help asap
Hi
Please bear with me on this. I suffer with health anxiety which leads to depression. On Monday I worked on a old site to help a friend clear some rubbish as he was a gardener. I usually work in a bank so quite different.
There was lots of sheets stuck in mud and I knew that some of the roofing was white asbestos which I didn't touch. However my friend got on the roof and asked me to pas about 15 of these sheets up. They were solid and about 3 foot long. There was lots of mud on them so dust and mud were falling on my face as I was passing them up.
That was fine until I got home and started looking on the internet at asbestos and how minimal exposure can kill in between 15 to 40 years. Since then mine and my families life have been ruined. I started thinking, what if iys blue asbestos etc etc. I text my friend to ask him what it was about 4 times and he replied with. You have issues mate, they were metal sheets and scraped down scrap yard yesterday. But because of my severe anxiety this didn't help. Because I think of the what ifs? Online none of the pics of asbestos look like this and at the time he surely would of known but the what ifs are killing me. I called the NHS line and they said minimum exposure if it was should be fine? Just fine? This hurt me even more and I keep looking online. I feel like im on a death sentance and a lot of the time can't feel my lips or hands, have not slept and constantly sick
how do I now think logically? How do I stop ruminating not thinking of the what ifs. My partner is leaving me with the kids. I need to see some light. I have not gone to work all week and am risking my job. 5 minutes or less of my life on helping someone out has done all this. I look army my children and cry thinking about me dying. I will do anything for someone to help me.
Hi there, I have the same asbestos worry from being a tradesman for the last 20 years.
Even if those roofing sheets were asbestos and from what your mate said they were not, handling them whole is quite safe. It's when you smash them up they become a problem. There are thousands of buildings that still have old asbestos roofs and unless damaged are fine.
We got some of those asbestos corrugated roof panels removed on a job and the asbestos guys didn't even wear masks! They told us these panels are such a low risk when removed complete.
Most asbestos is mixed with other materials like cement or formed into tiles or sheets which sort of bonds the fibres together. They are not nearly as dangerous as other types of asbestos like pipe lagging in old boiler rooms which isn't mixed with other materials and is easier to disturb.
Please just STOP all googleing on this subject it will do you no good at all believe me. You may feel compelled to keep researching over and over but you need to stop completely.
You probably feel doomed you will suffer a disease in the future and I bet you worry you will be the one that gets something in the minimum amount of time right? You may even rehash in your brain over and over what being sick may be like right? You may be plagued by thoughts of if only or what if's am I right?
You can get over this terrible feeling of dread and worry over your future.
From your exposure IF indeed it even was Asbestos it was very low risk and not worth worrying about-seriously:)
I have had multiple health anxiety worries over the years and this one we share is horrid but you can recover trust me. It takes me a course of an SSRI drug, usually Citalopram to get my phobic anxious brain to see sense and reason.
Our brains can get totally mashed with these worrying thoughts and can ruin our lives, you probably find it hard to think positively and always dwell on the negatives?
Again your risk was super low probably non-existent if your mate was correct and the sheets were metal. If you have trouble putting this issue behind you then seeking anti-anxiety medication could be a great benefit.
ATB,
Steve:)
Hi Willous,
I don't share this worry and others can give you much better help than I, just wanted to show concern for how you are feeling.
Are you already seeing someone/ taking medication? Can you get in to see your doctor?
I hope you have some support around you.
Lilac
Hi there, I have the same asbestos worry from being a tradesman for the last 20 years.
Even if those roofing sheets were asbestos and from what your mate said they were not, handling them whole is quite safe. It's when you smash them up they become a problem. There are thousands of buildings that still have old asbestos roofs and unless damaged are fine.
We got some of those asbestos corrugated roof panels removed on a job and the asbestos guys didn't even wear masks! They told us these panels are such a low risk when removed complete.
Most asbestos is mixed with other materials like cement or formed into tiles or sheets which sort of bonds the fibres together. They are not nearly as dangerous as other types of asbestos like pipe lagging in old boiler rooms which isn't mixed with other materials and is easier to disturb.
Please just STOP all googleing on this subject it will do you no good at all believe me. You may feel compelled to keep researching over and over but you need to stop completely.
You probably feel doomed you will suffer a disease in the future and I bet you worry you will be the one that gets something in the minimum amount of time right? You may even rehash in your brain over and over what being sick may be like right? You may be plagued by thoughts of if only or what if's am I right?
You can get over this terrible feeling of dread and worry over your future.
From your exposure IF indeed it even was Asbestos it was very low risk and not worth worrying about-seriously:)
I have had multiple health anxiety worries over the years and this one we share is horrid but you can recover trust me. It takes me a course of an SSRI drug, usually Citalopram to get my phobic anxious brain to see sense and reason.
Our brains can get totally mashed with these worrying thoughts and can ruin our lives, you probably find it hard to think positively and always dwell on the negatives?
Again your risk was super low probably non-existent if your mate was correct and the sheets were metal. If you have trouble putting this issue behind you then seeking anti-anxiety medication could be a great benefit.
ATB,
Steve:)
Thank you Steve, I appreciate it so much. These sheets are probably metal as they were solid and didn't break plus were quite thin. Does that sound right. I'm seeing my doctor today as I am on citilopram 40mg but not helping this moment. The what ifs kill me inside. For example what if I saidd no to helping him, what if it is blue asbestos, what if I leave mu children. Just want to think logically but the more I try the harder it id. Once again, thank u
If they were asbestos sheets they would be around 5mm - 1cm thick. Corrugated metal sheets are normally only a couple of mm thick, and flexable. If they were quite light when you were lifting them, then they weren't asbestos.
If your mate said they were metal and he scrapped them, then they were. You have to take asbestos sheets to special dumps to get rid of them. Also as southey said, they are quite safe when in one piece, the asbestos fibres can only potentially get released when they break, and even then, working outdoors its very unlikely you would breathe any in.
Even if they were asbestos sheets, the risk is tiny, and if you didn't break any handling them, then none.
Yep I agree your worrying is totally not needed. Even broken asbestos sheet isn't that bad it's when it's drilled or cut and especially in enclosed areas that problems may occur.
You were outside, sheets were undamaged and probably metal anyway from your description.
You should be able to put this worry to rest, I know how hard it can be though but really even for me who has a dread fear of this substance your handling situation would not worry me at all if I were in your shoes, it really is just such a minute risk.
I hope knowing these things can help you get through this period of anguish, maybe when you see your Doc' you could ask for something else to add to your Citalopram. I know that Diazepam for me is very helpful and can calm us in stressful times. The two drugs can be taken together fine.
Doc's sometimes are hesitant to prescribe Benzos but if it's affecting your work they are needed and are just another tool to use to feel OK again. I find when I was very anxious or have breakthrough blips of anxiety even on Cit' the Diazepam can break the worry cycle enough to get on with life and enjoy it too:yesyes:
Steve:)
Thanks both for taking your time to reply. Funnily enough I've just been given a prescription for Diazapam. Hopefully I can start calming down. Was also given 10mg beta blockers? To be honest it sounds like they were metal and we all come across a certain amount of asbestos in lifetime. Anxiety is horrible though but appreciate all your help. I remember the sheets being thin so hopefully there's no risk even if there was asbestos near by.
Great to hear you can reason this out for the non - risk it was:shades:
I too was prescribed beta-blockers (propranolol) 10mg 3xdaily, 2mg Diazepam as needed and 20mg Citalopram. All three are fine to take together.
Steve.
One last thing. At the sit there was some grey blocks that broke quite easily like brick size or bigger. Does this sound like blue asbestos? Or breeze blocks. Scared
No, they would be breeze blocks, there are two sorts, the normal heavy light grey ones made from concrete, and lighter blue / grey coloured ones, neither contain asbestos
After putting my mind at ease over last couple of days and forgetting about this I woke up at 2 this morning worried sick and been up since feeling ill with worry. Now I know the above is not a thought I switched to thinking what if something else at this place was asbestos and I can't remember. Basically altogether I was at this place 4 hours as was helping a friend clear tree cuttings etc. However there was wood lying around etc that I threw into a skip. As well as the tree cuttings etc. I didn't cut into anything and it was all outdoors but what if something I picked up and threw in there was asbestos. Why am I doing this to myself.
Not sure how you can get over these totally irrational thoughts? Your mind is having trouble letting go and it seems determined to keep up the cycle and drag you down?
I read an article in yesterdays paper about Leopold de Rothschild who died recently of an Asbestos related disease at age 84!!
His only exposure was from his time doing national service in the navy working in the boiler rooms of ships which were heavily lagged with Asbestos and although it didn't say I bet it was the more dangerous blue or brown stuff?
He did two years service in those boiler rooms and seeing as how national service ended in 1960 the minimum time to getting the disease for this fella would have to be 52 years if he served in 1958 to 1960!
Two whole years working around Asbestos in a hot , stuffy enclosed space!
I hope this newspaper article can put your fears into some sort of perspective?
You in all likelihood never even touched Asbestos and in the small chance you may have chucked a bit in a skip it's highly unlikely this will cause problems added to the fact you were outdoors which makes the tiny risk even smaller!!
You need to find something else to worry about as Asbestos is not a problem for you and you need to re-train your brain away from obsessing about it by telling yourself you have had no risk and replace those creeping invasive thoughts with positive thoughts. Again absolutely no googleing of this subject at all, it will only feed your doubting mind.
Right, now we know you are not at risk from dying in 50 years time from some thing that never happened what else should you worry about?.....
Well top of your worry list should be if England get through tonight and then hope we don't meet the Germans in a penalty shootout:doh::scared15:.....
....thats if your English of course:winks:
Chin up,
Steve:)
Cheers mate, really cheered me up. Thankful because its impossible to talk to my partner etc. I am getting there slowly but am taking your advice on not googling any more. I'm dropping now because looking for reassurance has caused the anxiety to become a lot worse. Ha and im definately English and nervous about tonight. Will be well happy if we get through even though we will probably go out to the Germans from sone bad desicion or penalties ha.on Once again, appreciate it.
I really hate anxiety. Its the what ifs that kill me and make me so low. Just had to walk out of work so upset. Earlier I walked past someone I was with on the day the maybe contact happened. He just looked at me and said, got some asbestos if you wanna take it away. I mentioned asbestos to the other person we were working with and he most likely mentioned it to this guy and this guy thought he would take the micky a bit. However my brain works differently. I have started thinking, what if he doesn't know I was concerned about asbestos and knew something I didn't. For example I touched it, he knew but didn't say anything at the time but had a joke about it now. Etc. Hope this makes sense. Sounds bad but I really need sone reassurance. I've stopped googling things but after finally getting a bit better feel like rubbish again.
little kyle
25-06-12, 21:42
im scaired of asbestos to ever since i went somwhere with it then found out it had that crap in it
Dear Willous1
I am sorry you are going through this, it is a rotten thing to worry about. I went through something similar a while ago, and what helped me with the excessive irrational fear was to find some reassuring information, keep it with me and read it every time the fear took over. From what you describe, I am sure that the risk from your potential outdoor exposure is non-existent. One of the statements that helped me, was the following:
(Information compiled from the New York Department of Health and Mental Hygiene): "The amount of asbestos released in a one-time incident is not likely to affect your health. It will most likely not expose you to much more asbestos, over the long run, than you would be exposed to from the air we all breathe".
There is naturally occuring asbestos in the environment, much the same as we are all exposed to a certain amount of natural radiation. Neither is a risk to our health, humanity has been exposed to them since time began. I objected to a medical test once, involving an x-ray, and the doctor just laughed and said, "Next time you travel by air, you will be exposed to a lot more radiation than you will receive from this x-ray". It is a question of keeping things in perspective, but I know how hard that is when fear runs away with you.
So my advice would be this: Find some reassuring information, keep it with you and read it like a mantra until the fear loses its grip. Perhaps read Southey's replies again, too - they have some very good points and should help to put and keep things in perspective.
I do hope you can find some much-needed peace of mind. Even assuming that you did handle asbestos, which you almost certainly DID NOT, I truly do believe that the activity you describe did not carry any risk whatsoever and that you can put it behind you.
Best wishes from Annie
Thanks for all the input. Today after 2 weeks of the event happening I found the phone cover I had on that day in the bathroom on the side. I completely forgot about it and used it on the day. The cover may have got dust on it and the fact its been there two weeks has scared me to life as my two young children bath in there. After I put the case down if asbestos wad on it would it keep releasing into the air? Feel like I've given my children a death sentance as always fear worse and stupidly asked on yahoo answers and got some awful answers. Just completely forgot it was there. Also left the jeans I wore in my bedroom for one night. Nothing is putting nut mind at ease please please help
Plus for one night I left my jeans I wore in bedroom.anyone please help
nomorepanic
01-07-12, 00:19
re-read the answers on here and you will realise that you are fine and there is nothing to worry about I am sure.
Thanks for your reply but on the internet it says that even one exposure has killed people. So if I did go near it I will probably die and maybe now my children. The what ifs have ruined mu life and will do forever. I've now got a mild sore throat. I can't stop looking at internet because why would sites say that if not TRUE. Just feel worse ever. Even diazapam is not helping me sleep.
First of all, a HUGE percentage of what is posted on the internet is inaccurate, so do not take it as gospel. Asbestos-related illnesses can take between 20-50 years to emerge, so how can anyone be sure they suffered ONE exposure only? Besides, you are panicking now as if you had definitely been in the presence of asbestos, when everything points to the probability that what you handled was NOT asbestos. You were in the open air. You will be fine. Your children will be fine. The families of workers who got asbestos-related illnesses were exposed to years of handling overalls and other work clothes completely covered in asbestos-dust from working with the substance indoors. Your children are in no danger whatsoever from being in the same room as your phone or clothes after what is essentially a non-exposure. Please stop torturing yourself - you and the family are in no danger from this. Best wishes from Annie
Thank you Annie. Do you think that the sore throat is related. Its mild but I keep thinking that it may be because a partical has got stuck in my throat. I wish I could reason with myself. My life has been turned upside down.
I don't often say this to anxiety sufferers but you need to get a grip over this irrational fear. Can't you see how unreasonable you are being?
Are you joking that you think a bit of asbestos is making your throat sore, could it not be one of the zillions of normal things that make everyone's throats sore from time to time?
I'm sorry you didn't take my advice and kept on looking at the internet, what more can anyone say to calm you?
Sorry if I'm sounding a bit short with you but I hope you can work this out in some way otherwise you are going to be miserable?
If you had an exposure, like all those many thousands of New Yorkers after 9/11 who were covered in the stuff I could understand, but you in all probability didn't even have ANY exposure to the stuff AT ALL!!
Asbestos is absolutely everywhere in some form or another and many, many people have been exposed but get on with life and enjoy it while they can. That's not to say those people will go on to develop an asbestos related disease, many exposed don't, more that worrying over something that may or may not happen in 20-50 years time is not worth the effort and get on with living.
There are a million things we can die of and time is precious and while we have a modicum of good health should strive tooth and nail to enjoy life and not worry about some tiny, tiny risk that probably didn't even exist. There are millions, maybe billions of people who would gladly swap lives with you in a heart beat if they could, something I think about a lot.
Willious, please try harder to let this issue go, I managed it and have in all probability had much greater exposure along with all the thousands of trades-persons in this country than you will ever have.
Steve.
Thanks Steve. I did listen about the internet thing but suddenly got worse and started looking for reassurance.
I went to the doctors this morning and explained. He then said there is no worry at all and I then said about my throat. He then laughed and said "Sean there is nothing to worry about"
To everyone, do you think I can take this as final reassurance.do doctors really know about asbestos. Thank you.
Yes, listen to what your Doc' said....'there is nothing to worry about at all':shades:
Firmly put this thing that has driven you crazy to bed and go out and enjoy life again.
And if any doubts starts creeping back cut them off sharp and remember what your Doc' said and don't let them get a hold and no feeding them either with googleing.
It took me a while to get over this issue and to stop seeking reassurance but the more you break the habit of worrying, researching, searching for reassurance and more worrying the easier it gets.
Once again you have no worries:D
Steve.
Steve, thank you. I feel a lot better. And I will make sure that the googling stops. Hopefully soon it will be out of my head like other things I have thought I had. The only difference between this and other issues is the fact you have to wait years for any results so that made it ten times worse.
I think you also need to get a bit of perspective. While you are waiting 40 years to see if any asbestos has harmed you, you could hit by lightning, run over by a smart car, trampled by an escaped elephant etc... All these things are equally as unlikely !
It isn't fair on you or your family for you to have your time taken up with irrational thoughts and worries when you could be out there living life, so you need to make sure you get the help you need with the health anxiety so it doesn't take you over.
Thanks everyone. The doctor said the same about having more chance being hit by a car walking out the doctors. This has affected me so much. I have basically lost my job. Almost lost my partner. And other things. I havnt lived and I need to get a grip now. I really do and I am so happy I found this site. The frank talking is what helps and what I need. Just wish the thought went completely or it never happened.
Hi everyone, im falsing myself not to look on the internet etc but this keeps niggiling its way into my head. Has anyone got any tips I can use.
Hi Willous1,
I see you are already on 40 mg Citalopram? Is that not helping with your anxiety? Did you discuss your ongoing extreme un-founded worries with your doc on the last visit with regard to changing meds or trying therapy?
You probably want to hear the reassurance from your doc again? You probably know this is only a short term fix though as these thoughts start creeping back? This is normal with these health anxiety issues we face so don't fret over keep worrying about them just keep trying to reduce the amount and duration of worrying bit by bit.
Great that your resisting google hunting, keep that up and don't let it feed these fears.
Really try to break the cycles that lead you to worry, force yourself to distraction in things going on around you and try to find things that make you happy if only briefly.
Your brain has become wired in a way that makes worrying easy and obsessive and this way of thinking has to be challenged and undone. It takes time and the drugs you take should be helping?
Keep remembering your doctor told you you are fine, we on here told you, you are fine, remember your mate you did the job for thinks you were loopy to worry and the stuff was metal anyway.
You are just caught in a nasty vicious cycle of anxiety but like most health anxiety sufferers feels it so so real. But it's not!!
You are gonna be fine!!
Go for a nice walk, the weather is lovely where I am at the moment and watch you look as you cross the road so you don't get hit by a bus as this is more likely gonna do you in before your issue of worry will:D
Steve.
Once again Steve. Thank you so much for your replies. They have helped me so much its untrue. And the googling has stopped completely which is massive for me. I am also keeping myself busy which has helped. The one last thing on my mind is this sore throat. Well I wouldn't call it a sore throat. More of an irritation on the throat. Slightly annoying that sometimes I have to do a small cough. Maybe its my anxiety or just a little sore throat. But because it started a week after the issue arose you can see what my brain is telling me. My doctor wouldn't even look at my throat lol. And everything I've seen says there are no immediate side affects. However I keep thinking that this slight annoyance may be a fibre that's got stuck and each morning I pray its gone. The sun is out today so im going to make sure this is my best day since. Thanks again
Please don't let this take over your life.I've had asbestos worries before, but what people have said here is so true. You didn't even touch or get near to asbestos, it takes years for asbestos related diseases to develop and you cannot worry like this for 40 years on the off chance that u might develop something. Remember that it is your mind playing tricks with you and if you hadn't gone to help out with shifting stuff, you would have only found something else to worry about instead.
Keep strong-I know it's hard.
Yes forget about your sore throat and little cough it will just be one of the thousands of normal things that cause them and in all likelyhood is probably being magnified due to your health anxiety still. It's a very hard cycle of thought to break.
It's gonna take time to get over this fully and you may have set backs or read or see something that may set off your fear pattern again but bit by bit it is possible to not have this run your life.
Get some throat pastilles to suck on or make some lemon and honey hot drinks to sooth your throat.
Keep occupied as much as you can to break the worry patterns and enjoy your day!
YOU HAVE ZERO NEED TO WORRY:yahoo:
Steve.
stressybessy
05-07-12, 19:01
Why not run your worries past your local fire service, they are well informed on the dangers of asbestos and may be able to put your mind at rest.
Thanks everyone. Has made me feel a lot better. If it wasn't for this slightly croaky throat and cough I would be even better but even though I know its not to do with the asbestos, its like a reminder. Silly I know.
I have spent 30 pound on throat stuff in last two days and it feels like its getting worse. It does not hurt but feels funny. When I breath in hard it feels a bit croaky down bottom of throat. I wad feeling much better about this asbestos thing but because of this throat i am convincing myself it has something to do with it. I've come a long way and i don't want to fall back.
Well if it doesn't start clearing soon maybe a trip to the Doc's would be an idea? It's hard to say if what you feel you have in your throat is caused or being exaggerated by your health anxiety?
I would go to your Doc but not even mention anything about Asbestos as this is not what is causing your throat problem. Besides your Doc already told you you have nothing to worry about on the asbestos front so continually seeking reassurance won't do much good as you already know the answer.
Find out the real cause of your throat trying not to associate it all the time to the thing that has worried you for so long and has made your life a misery. I'm not sure if your like me in the regard that sometimes when one worry subsides I have then immediately gone on to worry about something else totally different? It's like the brain has to worry about something and makes a big deal about something else just when you think you have the first problem licked?
You know I have had an ear infection this past week something which happens once a year for me. I became totally deaf in one ear and started obsessing and worrying that this was it-I'm gonna be permanently deaf from now on, even though I've been through this many times before and been fine. It's strange how during a period of health anxiety (which I am almost over) things become blown out of all proportion and all reason flies out the window!! Still my ear is fine now after antibiotics and the hearing is back!
I hope you continue to recover Willious1 you are sounding much better? Just get past this throat business and continue working on keeping the negative thoughts at bay.
Steve:)
Hi Steve, thanks again. Went to a different doctors today and he checked everything aroind throat and chest and said no signs of anything and it must be anxiety. Fair enough but feels so real. Not sore but just weird especially when I breathe in. Then I was silly enough to mention asbestos. At first he put my mind at ease and said even if you did touch it people who work for 20 30 years can be fine. When I asked if he was sure I would be fine, he then said he could not be 100% sure and nothing is ever certain. This set me off again. If he was so sure at first why did he change his mind. I have got to get rid of this because before i know it my life would have wasted away. When ever i look to something and feel happy, my mind tells me theres no point as going to die of this. I know it sounds dramatic but its how i feel. But it doesnt mean this site and people have helped loads.
Anyway I feel a bit better about the throat but a tiny bit worried still it may be an asbestos related thing that doctors don't know about or there's no records of.
Like you, I go straight onto another thing after one health anxiety issue calms. Before this I was convinced I had alzheimers. CONVINCED. But now this has taken over, I know 100% I have not got that.
I am staying of google which has helped. Diazapam has also helped me and doctors don't think I should change meds.
Forever1803
09-07-12, 16:13
Hi Willous1, I have read your previous posts and noticed you were convinced beyond unimaginable doubt that you had Alzeihmers disease. There seemed to be no convincing you otherwise that you did not have it and it turned out it was just your health anxiety makin you believe what was not real. Your posts then change suddenly into asbestos poisoning and almost magically there is no mention of alzeihmers whatsoever, you could not even remember what you were thinking or saying when you thought you had this disease, yet since the asbestos thing you seem to remember every small thing down to the last detail! Does this not prove anything to you?
nothing in life is 100% certain for anyone! what is certain is that you have got your self on the anxiety roundabout but have refrained from getting off as you choose to go around again, this time grabbing another symptom and fear and riding the rollercoaster ride once again. it is a vicious circle. please read over and over all the posts that you have written and all the replies that you have received. Those in particular, from Steve, who, although he has been through the shit wringer himself with his own issues, has taken the time to come back rather a few times to try to put your mind at rest and reassure you. His advice has been remarkably frank, yet reassuring to the point, that even I took comfort from it just from reading about your anxiety!
I suffer from HA and when i'm at my worst, there is noone in the world that suffers more than me in my own head! I know that panic makes us lose rationality, but please try and take a moment, a deep breath, a logic thought, you can't suffer from every single thing all your life, come on! start enjoying, start listening, start living. With much love and whishing you a speedy recovery, Amanda xxx
Good to hear the Doc had a good look at your throat. Nothing found so scratch that as a worry.
I was like you at one point, absolutely terrified of this fear. Could not see any future, went through many scenarios of my impending death and a feeling of dread that is hard to explain.
It got better though, took several months but I'm almost back to normal so it can be done.
Amanda is right, nothing in life is 100% certain and what your Doc said should reassure you but you have taken what he said as a negative when it was really a positive outlook.
I didn't know you thought you had Altzheimers before this other thing came along. Just confirms you are caught in a loop of health anxiety.
You will get over your latest fears I have no doubt as you will realise over time that you had no risk but I hope you don't go on to worry over something else and start the cycle over again as it's truly debilitating and horrid to go through.
Steve.
Thank you Steve and Amanda. Steve, I appreciate all the time and effort more than you can imagine. I know you have health anxiety and this makes me appreciate it even more.
My brain works in a horrible way. At the doctors he asked me of I smoked. I gave up a year ago after smoking for 10 years but not a huge amount. Until now I forgot what he said but now my mind eased a bit I remember what he said. He said smoking is a big issue with asbestos but after asking me how much I smoked, he said I SHOULD be fine. So in the last few minutes this fear of dread has come over me again. Ruminating about smoking and thinking why did I ever start etc. I was really getting there and have come a long way. I've just brought a couple of books on health anxiety so if I lose this fear hopefully I won't go onto another one like before.
It's smoking AFTER being exposed to Asbestos that is the big problem. I read one report in my Googleing days that smoking can increase the chances of Asbestos related disease many times but I can't and won't verify that information as I no longer Google:wacko: You don't need to get flustered at this information as it does not even relate to you as you had no exposure to begin with and hypothetically if you did it would have been AFTER your smoking days were well and truly over and all the smoking gunk had cleared from your lungs but again you were not exposed so no need to worry at all.
I have smoked in the past, regretted it but like so many things done in the invincible years of 'youth' chalk it up to experience and have moved on.
Great to hear you quit a year ago, the absolute best thing that can be done to stay healthy:shades:
Steve.
Thanks again. For the 1st time in ages I do feel like im getting there. Its funny how since this smoking business I have forgotten about mesthamolia and gone onto lung cancer. I am listening to you and going to work hard on getting over this. The doctor was vague and said I should be okay. Then asked how much I smoked and fir how firing. When I told him, he seemed to change a bit. He did say as I am in my 20's that helps. Also helps that you can survive lung cancer bit not mesthamolia. Sorry to be a whinger. This year I have been convinced I had mouth cancer, brain tumour, alzheimers etc but this has been the hardest as it is a slow process. Everyone on here has helped me so much especially Steve and I am now living a bit better thanks to it. I am a bit better with my family and not aggravating my partner so much. :)
---------- Post added at 20:28 ---------- Previous post was at 19:40 ----------
this lung cancer business has overtaken me. I have gone downhill so much. I was stupid on gpogled it. Lung cancer has very low survival rates and if you smoked at any time and were exposed to asbestos your going to get it. I want to die now.
Just because you smoke, or have smoked does NOT mean you are going to get lung cancer. My exes grandmother smoked from the age of 15, and died at 87 of old age, and never had cancer in her life.
You really need to get some meds / counselling to help with your health anxiety, as worrying about what may potentially happen in 40 or 50 years really shouldn't be on your mind.
Lung cancer would hapeen in 5 to 15 years and increases by 100x if you ever smoked. Sorry but scared beyond belief. Have gad to go for a walk. I feel like this is it now
Your getting worked up over nothing:wacko::D. We already established you were not at risk of asbestos so everything about the smoking and lung cancer is totally irrelevant.
Pop a few Diazapams and chill:shades:
Steve.
Thanks Steve. I am trying so hard but just being physically sick and this feeling of fear is the worst ever. Just the what ifs.
Forever1803
10-07-12, 09:33
Hi again! Congratulations on giving up smoking, like Steve said, it's one of the best things you could ever have done for your health. I smoked for 19 years (heavily) and gave up cold turkey five years ago! (I am 36 now) I regret ever smoking as at the time, I loved it so much. I know now that I will live a healthier life for that reason alone, just like you will ! You have not got cancer, asbestos poisoning, alzehimers, brain tumour etc!!
Have you considered counselling or CBT? Your gp could refer you. You need to break the cycle of destructive thoughts you are experiencing. You are spending so much time worrying what might happen, that you are not living your life!! If you have diazapam, I would take Steves advice and pop those for a couple of days, so that you can relax and have a break from your heightened thoughts. STOP GOOGLING!!
Please stop torturing yourself!! You need constant reassurance for your unnecessary worrying and unless you break this cycle, you will indeed diagnose yourself with every illness on the planet! What a medical marvel you truly are to have survived so many illnesses this year alone! You need to understand that it's your negative thoughts charging up your nervous system and you are keeping yourself in a constant state of anxiety. You cannot think straight like this, that is why you are hopping from one diagnosis to another. You need to find something to help you to relax.
There is some very useful information on the homepage of this site, I suggest you read it, in particular, the article on health anxiety, the symptoms we feel and why we feel them, it's very good, I printed it off and refer back to it every now and then when I feel crap! Like today, when I woke with tingling in my cheek, i wanted to run for the hills, screaming, terrified of a stroke! I took a moment, and came to my senses in my own time, it's not a stroke, it's tingling and sore because i have bitten the inside of my cheek which is sore, i had forgotten i had done it!
The headaches i experience every day, stabbing pain in my eye must surely be a brain tumour? My health anxiety would have me believe so, it's just stress/worry/tension.
why don't you keep a diary and write down your thoughts and 'symptoms', and on good days, write why you feel so good, find something positive to say, then months down the line, when you are having a little wobble, you can read it back to yourself and it might help you understand your anxiety, and it's proof that it really is only anxiety!
Try and think positive today, stop worrying about tomorrow, it's not here yet. Big hugs, Amanda xxx
Mornings were the worst for me as well. The instant dread on waking up was awful.
Are you eating OK. When I was bad I could not eat but trying to force something down is important. Me Mum always says I should 'feed my nerves' and is right.
Allow yourself to believe the 'new' information you researched yesterday is of no relevance to you. Let the memories slowly fade. And from now absolutely no more google hunting.....EVER.....it's out of bounds from now!!!!
Today is another day. You had a small set-back yesterday but that's over and done with. Move forward, small steps again and get back on track.
You have not or ever been at risk from the big A so that worry must be stamped out for good.
Amandas idea of a diary could be good. Writing down how you feel, what sets a thought pattern off and how you got calm could be useful. You will probably see patterns forming and could be better able to reduce them?
Myself I went back to work yesterday, first time in six months. Thats how long it took me to feel well enough to work again so it can take time to heal. Found it a bit of a struggle getting my old bones out of bed that morning. Not used to being up so early and it was a shock!
A bit of a rubbish day today weather wise, looks like more rain! Not at work today myself so will have to find something to occupy myself? You need to do the same.
Take your citalopram and some propranolol and enough diazapam as needed, do something exiting, anything that will take your mind off yourself for a while and start breaking those thought patterns again.
Steve.
Hi, Thanks to the both of you. Have been slightly better this afternoon. Great to hear your back at work Steve. How was today? I've been off over a month but putting strain on family especially with money etc.
Today I spoke to the NHS helpline and asbestos line but it just seems they don't know a lot about my specific question about if i only quit smoking a year ago and my lungs were affected would the asbestos IF it was asbestos that got in make me prone to lung cancer with no difference made to the fact i quit anymore. Or is the fact i quit make it less likely over the years IF it did go in. Hope that makes sense.
I am definitely going to stop googling now,100%. I wish yesterday never happened.
once again, i do listen to all on here and Steve in particular has been a life saver and helping me look more logically.
I was so much better thanks to this site etc until yesterday. I called my doctor today who called back and refused to speak about asbestos which is strange. Literally said, please don't mention it.
I suppose i want to know that the worst case senario of it being asbestos and the smoking side to be sorted and put aside. I think i could finally get some peace. Just knowing that quitting DOES sort your lungs out in time for the 15 year period that asbestos related diseases to affect you. I really hope that makes sense as not easy to explain.
I have started the diary and the homepage has helped. Thanks Amanda.
I don't think you even need to go down this route and try and dig up more information. Doing so will probably not lead to relief but more anxiety. Seems like your Doc' is in agreement with me in dismissing your call as just another person having issues with extreme anxiety?
All you are doing is replacing google with phoning helplines and keeping this thing going. You need to stop.
I'm not sure what you want to hear in your search for info? Do you want the if's, but's or maybe's in case you did have exposure and also smoked in the past? Will you be happy if someone gives you a figure on how long you may live? What if they said 5, 10 ,15, 30, 40, 50 years? Would that help or make you scared?
Say you hear you have 10 years left, what are you gonna do with those years, spend them worrying every day or make the most of them? What about having 50 years left?
Concentrating on the fact you were not even exposed and believing it is the important thing. You must do this to move on and get better. Plus it's the truth first and foremost and the only logical explanation when you can look at you situation with reason.
Today was pretty grim where I am, rain all day and some lightning and thunder and I had a load of washing on the line getting wetter than when it came out the machine!! Gonna leave it out overnight and hope for the best. Still, I had a gloriously lazy day watching recorded law and order and crime museum with Martin Kemp!!
Steve.
Its like I want 100% assurance that im 100% in no danger but no matter who says what the what ifs come into play.
One person said that 10 years after quitting smoking your chances of getting an asbestos related disease goes down to the same as a non smoker, this put my mind at ease because an asbestos related disease usually takes longer than 10 years.
I just feel that unlike other health anxiety issues that I will never let this one go.
I've lost my job through it and now will financially struggle but where this matter overpowers everything, its like I don't care. And I get so emotional around my children, thinking silly thoughts.
I try to look rationally and think, Jesus I helped a mate 3-4 hours doing gardening OUTSIDE and if I touched it I would not of broken it etc etc but my brains not letting me hold this thought....well it did until the smoking business.
Sounds like a good day Steve, was it law and order UK or US. My twins played some scenes in law and order UK. Was a good experiance. They were only 18 months at the time.
Law and order US, I think they were older episodes? I would be lost without Sky plus!
Even if you get a 100% assurance you are in no danger will that be enough or will the doubts start coming back?
I think if you ask advice from 10 different sources you will get 10 different answers. What I learnt was that after stopping smoking the body heals in sort of stages and that after ten years you are likely at almost the same risk of disease as a non-smoker. This is what the person you talked to also said in relation to asbestos. After ten years of quitting smoking your chance of asbestos disease returns to that of a non-smoker.
The real danger is smoking after inhaling asbestos. The fibres get lodged in the lung and sit there being an irritation. All the chemicals in the fags on top of this irritation makes the chances of disease increase. Take away the smoking and the chance of disease decreases both for regular lung cancer and asbestos related disease.
Keep on trying to think rationally about when you helped your mate. Your brain will get the message eventually. Just try to steer your thoughts to positive things. You forgot about one worry about mesothelioma in exchange for the smoking thing so you can change and forget about them both.
Hows the throat? I'm guessing you may have forgotten about it during this latest period of worry?
Steve.
My throats getting there now. Its annoying but not the same.
I feel awful this morning and just want to sleep.
I need to put this to side once and for all and not let the thought destroy me.
I need to realise what people have been saying to me and that my doctor won't even mention it and move on for the sake of my family and me.
I either ruin myself or realise im fine.
This is the conclusion I've cone to this morning.
I HAVE to do it.
You will do it. This will all just be a memory soon.
Can I ask how long you have been on the Citalopram? Do you think it's helped at all?
When I have these health anxiety problems I'm pretty sure it's the Citalopram that brings me out of these unreasonable thoughts first to a point where positive thinking can take over and then in combination I get better?
Three separate times in the last 10 years I have sunk to such a state that I have needed SSRI's to bring me round. Each time has been a different health worry and so far none have merited worry! What a waste of time and energy all this business has been. I know we can't help it but still what a waste. Just this last episode has taken 6 months from me that I can't get back.
I know you have suffered other health anxiety in the past Willious1? Did you ever get well in between individual worries or was it all merged into one long episode?
Steve.
Have been on about 8 years. I tried another one which I can't remember name off last year which made me a lot worse. Usually I had bouts of health anxiety over the years like HIV etc which would go and I could be happy for months. But since last September when I got silly over blood pressure and chest pains it has been non stop. Have had everything, been hospital a few times for nothing etc. I was convinced I was going blond at one point etc etc.
Sorry but what is an ssri? Like citilopram?
Yeah your right, all these months of our lives we've ruined for NO reason. People tell me there are people with serious illnesses which are coping better than me with nothing wrong..how silly.
Its funny because if you look at the alzheimers thread I did. I was convinced. But now I have this I can see how stupid I was.
This worry is just so real at the moment because of the waiting which I've said before. And like you said, the reassurance should be enough. But one negative thought of what I've heard or read and it overtakes.
I have not googled for 2 days and am being strong. I just have to realise that I don't smoke anymore and people are exposed to asbestos without knowing it etc etc. See, its funny how I can write rationally but my brain does not let me think it.
---------- Post added at 11:46 ---------- Previous post was at 11:28 ----------
I am also now not worried about if I moved some but when we were leaving I used a garden sweep and a spade to clear out all the mud and rubbish. If asbestos was near by and there were broken bit in there would that cause an issue? My brain is killing me. Took a few minutes and the spade was full of mud. Sorry
Yes SSRI is just the category of drugs Citalopram falls in like Prozac and others. Shame it's not taking away this anxiety for you? Did it ever work well to the point it could control your anxiety?
Been there with the HIV! Worried myself senseless for about a year!! This is what started the whole health anxiety merry-go-round for me way back.
It's good to see you are able to write how you know your being un-reasonable. Try to view this latest episode how you now view the Altzheimers worry. You know you were silly to get worked up over that and this latest thing is exactly the same and one day you will feel silly for fearing it too.
Well done on avoiding the Google monster!! Keep it up. I have not looked up anything medical in months and it really works in not keeping the fears fuelled. Yes we will sometimes come across articles in the media about our particular fears which will make us come over all funny and get a panic on, like I did recently in the newspaper but they don't last long.
Keep writing rationally how you know your not in danger. It's good positive reinforcement that gets into the brain. Why do you think at school they made us copy text from books to make us learn? Plus you can look back on your writing when feeling a bit iffy to see you can think in a different state?
Steve.
Thanks Steve that made great sense. Not sure if you saw the last bit about sweeping the mud and using a spade to clear it into a barrell. outside as I added after I wrote it but do you think I can forget about that. If there were broken bits before hand the dust would be elsewhere as well because outside do you think. It was in an alleyway behind a building where the trees were cut.
The post was great though and I feel like its going to really help me.
Yes the HIV scares are horrific and I remember going for the test all the time.
---------- Post added at 12:27 ---------- Previous post was at 12:26 ----------
And yes I think the citilopram has controlled it at points but not when I feel severe anxiety.
---------- Post added at 11:46 ---------- Previous post was at 11:28 ----------
I am also now not worried about if I moved some but when we were leaving I used a garden sweep and a spade to clear out all the mud and rubbish. If asbestos was near by and there were broken bit in there would that cause an issue? My brain is killing me. Took a few minutes and the spade was full of mud. Sorry
Not an issue even if it was broken. Those panels contain white asbestos held in a cement. The danger is if you saw them up or drill into them. On the scale of dangerous asbestos they are at the lower end of the scale so much so that some asbestos removal guys we used once didn't even wear masks when they took some away after we knocked down a garage that had it on the roof!
That type of asbestos roofing material is absolutely everywhere, heavily used in farms and council buildings and storage buildings. Left alone i.e not cut or drilled or smashed to smitherines it is safe and is why there is still loads about.
Plus we know it was metal corrugated roofing that your mate scrapped right?
Steve.
Thanks Steve, yes they were. But next to it we found some white asbestos roofing. The cement not metal type. I didn't touch it but even if someone moved it and it broke should it be okay? Last question. I appreciate it more than you will ever believe.
---------- Post added at 13:12 ---------- Previous post was at 12:40 ----------
Not an issue even if it was broken. Those panels contain white asbestos held in a cement. The danger is if you saw them up or drill into them. On the scale of dangerous asbestos they are at the lower end of the scale so much so that some asbestos removal guys we used once didn't even wear masks when they took some away after we knocked down a garage that had it on the roof!
That type of asbestos roofing material is absolutely everywhere, heavily used in farms and council buildings and storage buildings. Left alone i.e not cut or drilled or smashed to smitherines it is safe and is why there is still loads about.
Plus we know it was metal corrugated roofing that your mate scrapped right?
Steve.
Thanks, was that the post about the white asbestos cement roofing you were referring to as well? My dad also said it doesn't contain much asbestos. I remember them being like cement based brown I think? Roofing tiles. Sorry where I kept editing I think I confused thngs. You have helped me a lot and almost feel like I can start moving on.
Yep definitely not something I would be at all concerned with if it were me and I'm super paranoid about the issue!
It's the corrugated sheets I was on about, quite safe. To be honest I have never seen asbestos roof tiles before but if they were cement based the same would apply, safe unless you chopped them into lines and snorted them:)
Yep finally move on, nothing you have said would worry me AT ALL if it was me on that day helping your mate.
:shades:
Steve.
Thanks Steve. I'm going to put an end to this now and work hard. Hopefully overtime it will vanish
Forever1803
11-07-12, 21:37
Hi Willous
I've had an awful few days curled up in a ball.
However, reading on here, it is pleasing to see that you are finally having some postivie thoughts.
On reading your previous posts, i thought 'oh no, he is swapping this forum for helplines', :weep::wacko:and your doctor even refused to disuss it - says it all hey? I doubt that a library full of books and experts would sit you at ease.. you have to go thru the motions, just like you did when you convinced yourself you had alzehimers not so long ago.
This is why i encouraged you to write a diary. Just write any old thing down, whenever you feel like. If you had done this during your alzehimers phase, you would of had it to look back on during your asbestos phase.
It took me two years to get over the wrangle i got myself into, and sometimes, the odd thing happens and im transported right back there in an instant, its horrible.:lac:
I used to think i had something stuck in my throat, so all day long, i would swallow and swallow, and drink, take sips, urgh, it was awful. It was a deep dark place that nobody else understood.
You will get better my lovely.
Steve has been invaluable! Hey Steve, well done on getting back to work, it's been a long while and you have worked so hard and come so far..:flowers:
this is where you too will be willous1 when you start to realise the loop you are in
keep going, one day at a time, write it down, look back on it. ... you can do it... steve did , i did, and though it's hard, an everyday struggle, keep going....
best of luck to you..... hugs xxx:hugs:
ps - steve - congratulations, you are an inspiration - to me anyway, thank you...xxxxx :bighug1:Amanda:flowers:
Thank you Amanda. Everyone has been so nice on here and helped me through a horrid time.You are right about Steve
The time and info he has given, even though he has his own anxiety to deal with is incredible and I will be forever greatful. Without the help on here I would not see any light and hope I can soon give valuable responses.
Hope all is well Amanda. I have started a diary and think it will help a lot. You sound like a lovely person and im sure you are getting there.
Thanks again everyone.
I have been doing so much better and because I felt a bit down today I lost it. I'm in tears just thinking about the what ifs again. You all gave helped so much. But I just have no way of knowing if I inhaled anything on that day. I am honestly at the end of it. Even diazapam isn't helping. Never felt this bad. Sorry
Had 10mg of diazapam and still slept badly. And on the sun headlines today its about Christine bleakleys asbestos scare. This is a joke
Forever1803
15-07-12, 15:36
Hi Willous1
Sorry to hear you're not feeling too good again. :flowers:
You had a couple of days there where you were feeling more positive. Unfortunately, this is the way anxiety works when we are having a bad time with it, it's like a rollercoaster of good and bad days. You have had a good few weeks of being wound tightly like a coil worrying unnecessarily about this asbestos business. It will take some time for your brain to become unwired to this, just like it did when you were worried about alzheimer's - remember?
Just a thought, but are the people you were working with that day, as worried sick about their health as you? Are they running around like headless chickens fearing for their lives, heading for the hills with their sudden death sentences? Not meaning to sound funny, but I doubt they will be. They will probably be sat this afternoon enjoying the summer sun, only thinking about this moment in time, or perhaps daydreaming their retirement in healthy bliss.
Don't take any notice of the newspaper. It is all hype. :lac:Christine has had a 'scare' and what do the paper do? They hype it all up, get people talking, thinking, remembering! Todays headline, tomorrows fish and chip paper, or in my case, the lining to my blind cats litter tray!! Some people will dismiss the whole story, not read it and move on, others, sensitive people like you, will be wrongly fearing for their lives. If you read a few of the comments left on the article, you will see that many people, including myself, grew up playing on asbestos garage roofs, bashing them with huge bricks and stones, went to schools which were built of the stuff, hugged family members who had been working in the stuff all day long.
You are obviously tired from your anxiety, tired from lack of decent sleep and the slightest thing will trigger you off at the moment. Try to keep your diary, write down your feelings. Read back through the posts on here, read the helpful article on health anxiety on this website and when a thought pops into your head, try as best you can to dismiss it. Or, write the thought down, then forget about it, leave it in the book, get on with something else.
You have to do as many things as you can to help yourself get better, to break the negative thought cycle, accept that this is not going to happen overnight. Remember, that even your doctor refuses to discuss this with you because there is nothing to worry about.
Take your medication, it will help your nervous system rest, eat properly and find something that you enjoy doing. If you can't get something out of your head, just tell yourself that ok, you are not going to spend hours, all day consumed in this thought, but maybe you will think about it later. Your brain might just begin to accept that.
Chin up sweetheart, you will get there, no doubt about that.:hugs:Amanda xxx
Thank you so much Amanda, I really mean it. I was back in the cycle this morning but have had a great day out in Brighton with the family today and although the fear is there it has helped a lot.
Your right about the other people I worked with, when I mentioned it, they thought I was mad. And the main guy was annoyed because he asked me if I really thought he would put me in any danger.
The diary is helping and I have not touched google today. I have looked through this thread and tried to think logically.
Your right about the medication. I have beta blockers (Proponel or something) but haven't taken them but may do now to see if they help. The diazapam is working a bit now though.
Tommorow is another day so I am hoping to feel a bit better.
Thanks again Amanda. Your post has helped a lot. :)
Today has been okay. But lost my job officially because of this. Crazy. It has changed me so much. This weird irritation in my lower throat when I breath in is still there. Even though doctor said its nothing it still makes me paranoid.
Hi everyone, had a better day yesterday. But today I have this horrible feeling. My brain keeps ruminating with guilt as to why I helped out. All I can think off is, of I said no etc etc. Or if it wasn't my day off etc etc. Even if there was such little risk the guilt is there because of the agony its caused. I can't block this thought.
This throat thing is still annoying me. Its only when I breath in deep but its down the back of my throat/chest I can feel it. Like when you have a chesty cough but its mild and only in one little place.
Anyone else feel guilt or had this throat feeling from anxiety
As well as the above, can anyone help?
I just read this site, http://fumento.com/asbestos/asbest.html
Looking at my previous post. Over such a short time even though this is about different types of exposure do you think it can put my mind at ease a bit. Sounds silly.
Also do you think this throat/chest thing is just coincedental.
Can anyone help, having a terrible day
Why is no one answering anymore. I'm constantly playing attention to my lungs and throat as they feel irratated when I breath in or out heavily or yawn. I'm sure this is the beggining of it. If I didn't have this would feel a lot better about this thing.
---------- Post added at 23:25 ---------- Previous post was at 21:40 ----------
Anyone? I havnt slept in 3 nights.
Can anyone help me at all. This is horrible.
Forever1803
19-07-12, 11:42
Hi Willous1
Sorry to hear you're having a bad time again. I've not been too good myself and so haven't been on here for a few days.
You are experiencing the feelings in your throat and lungs because you have convinced your brain that you have inhaled asbestos and that's it! So every time you breathe or cough you are paying attention to these areas of your body. So any slight discomfort or feeling, you are putting straight down to the asbestos.
How many days ago did this incident happen? add them up and remind yourself that this is the amount of days, so far, that you have wasted, that you have allowed this to control you for.
It is sad to hear that you lost your job. What are you now spending your time doing?
What medication are you taking through the day and night?
How are you at night time? are you sleeping well each night?
You have not got asbestos poisoning. You are keeping this vicious circle going by constantly obsessing and reading papers and searching desperately over and over on the internet. You have also done the phone lines and the doctors. We can be scared of almost anything if we really wanted to, couldn't we?
You MUST stop feeding your fear. Seeing as you have got such a great imagination, why don't you imagine your fear/anxiety as a big bad bully! It wants to rule you, consume you, take over your life, own you. It has already cost you your job, what else are you going to let this bully take from you?
Stand up to this bully, don't give it what it wants. Write it all down, tell it how you feel and fight back! I'm no expert, I have absolutely awful anxiety. Some days I really can't cope, or see a way out, then I have a few good days and it perks me up, then everything crashes down again. You have to accept that it is going to take a while to get better.
I wish someone would make my anxiety go away in a flash, but it aint gonna happen. Still, if we were all to throw our anxiety into a big pile, we would soon grab our own worries back!
You CAN do this dude! Amanda xxx
Thank you so much for the reply Amanda. Looking on here at my posts I sound like a freak but finding it so hard.
Sorry to hear you have had a bad few days yourself. This makes me appreciate your time replying even more and I wish I could find the strength like you to help someone else even when having my own problems.
You are helping me look more logically, and it all makes sense. I am always feeding my fear and I am staying of google for my family and my sake now. I HAVE to.
I lost my job about a week ago officially. I have never had this and always got on where I have worked, but I have been a different person and could not face work. I keep telling myself to man up but just can't.
The bit about standing up to the bully is so so TRUE. We need to fight this nasty thing and not let it beat us.
I changed doctors last week JUST to see a new one. She was very old school and basically said to stay away from diazapam which helps me at bad times. She also said she would not reassure me as I need to fight this myself. She said my throat was probably not to do with asbestos and I have as much risk after that exposure than all of us? She also said that everyone has to live with uncertainty etc etc. The appointment was very different to what im used to.
I am on citilopram 40mg during the day and have just got some beta blockers which I am just going to start.
My sleep is okay with diazapam but terrible without.
Forever1803
19-07-12, 17:07
Hi Willous
Good to hear you are thinking more logically. Anxiety is like a chain around the neck, pulling you down, more and more.
It's time to stop worrying about asbestos now. You are probably an expert in the stuff now after all the reading and researching you have done on it over the last few weeks! :shades:
Is your doctor still prescribing you diazepam? How much do you take every day? My doc won't give me anymore. Im having problems falling asleep at the moment so I'm pretty exhausted, so not sure what to do about that.
Why not use your time in between jobs to try and get a hold of your anxiety and deal with it properly. Allow yourself to get better for a while. Anxiety is capable of destroying everything if you allow it. I know it's hard to think rationally when your consumed by panic and anxiety, but you have to let the feelings flow over you. Soon you will be able to control your anxiety when you learn to recognise those pits of the stomach feelings when they start.
I used to run around, unable to keep still like a headless chicken when my panic used to start! Honestly, if there was ever a tape of me somewhere acting so hideously and irrationally, i would be ashamed!:scared15:
You're not a freak, you're just going thru a rough patch, but you will come out of it, keep reminding yourself of that. One day at a time. But no more googling! It's tempting, but it's your very worst enemy! Find something else to do, something that is not going to fill you with horror and dread. Ask yourself why you would want to make yourself feel any worse than you already do.
Accept that you are not dying from asbestos poisoning and your symptoms are that of anxiety and you are fuelling them.
So now you have to find something that you enjoy doing, to take your mind off things, and to make yourself feel better. What's it gonna be?? Amanda xxx :whistles:
Thanks Amanda,
The doctor I saw yesterday does not think I should take diazapam although my previous go thought it was very useful. I only really take them at night and usually about 5mg. Although when im bad during the day, I do take them.
I feel so silly sometimes and I make myself look and sound sully but can't help it. No one I know understands which makes it all more difficult.
It is a shame the doctor won't give you diazapam anymore especially if your sleeping poorly. Can you try seeing another one? Or explaining that you will use them for sleeping only? Not sleeping well is the worst thing. Last night I took a diazapam and fell asleep at 8. I feel a bit better today.
I am going to promise that I will not google anymore. I can't as I refuse to make myself worse again. And your right about using my time to try beating this. I have been CONVINCED I've had so much this last year. Alzheimers and this being the worst I think. So I need to really not go round in this cycle again when I start getting a lot better.
Football usually helps me take my mind away but I support Crystal palace so that doesn't help ha.
Thanks again Amanda. I am going to fight this and I was not strong enough to even say that a few days ago.
Sean x
Forever1803
20-07-12, 09:52
Hi Sean
Wow! That’s the most positive post I think I’ve seen on here from you! That’s fantastic, well done!!
It would be great if you could finally start to allow yourself to get better and rid yourself of the burden that is anxiety.
You have realised how much this has taken over your life and it’s time to regain control.
Like I said before, if you can imagine this anxiety as a bully that follows you around EVERYWHERE you go, this bully is heavier than you could ever imagine and you have to carry it, take it with you, you just cannot leave it behind.
You don’t want to carry this bully anymore, nor do you want to feed it your fear. This bully goes to bed with you, wakes up with you, spends the whole day getting in your way, reminding you that it’s there, controlling where you can and can’t go, telling you what you can and can’t do.
It’s time to show this bully the door, but it aint gonna be easy! This bully isn’t just gonna leave bidding you a good day! You are going to have to work hard to convince this bully to leave. It is going to take time and a lot of convincing!
Try if you can, to give this bully an image, or a colour, a name, or whatever. We often become consumed with the emotion of fear, dread and panic, because it comes from nowhere and we weren’t expecting it, and it frightens us and then the whole spiral of panic and meltdown begins. This then has the potential to ruin the moment we were in and everything goes out the window. But, remember, these are just feelings and emotions, and we can learn to control them.
You have to accept that it’s going to take time to get rid of this bully. Nobody knows how long it will take. Some days the bully might just go for a few hours, or, a few days and eventually a few weeks and months at a time. But then, suddenly, BAM out of nowhere it returns unexpectantly and knocks the wind out of you! Some days you will get no rest from it at all and feel like giving up.
If you decide to take on this challenge, you have to commit to keep going no matter what.
You have to accept that anxiety is going to be a part of your life. But that’s ok, because you can learn to manage it. And even if you can’t get this bully out the door and out of your life, you can instead learn to live with it. You can learn to ignore it and put it away, and not let it completely take over and consume you.
So when you start to feel the dread, the fear, the panic, stop and think. Think of an image for this bully and stare at it, face it! Accept it. The more you learn to recognise it, the more you will be able to control it.
Eventually, you will learn to recognise these thoughts, fears and emotions just as they are starting and you will be able to control them before they blow all out of proportion. You will be able to say ‘oh it’s you again’ as soon as those feelings start to surface. But it will be you in control, not the bully. If this bully is going to live with you, then it has to behave! It’s your job to set the boundaries.
That’s why you need to fill your time with something you enjoy doing, take your mind off the bully. It will get easier, but you have to give it time and persevere.
I’m no expert, I have anxiety like you. I have good days and bad days and extremely difficulty days. Just accept it and stop fighting it then you can manage it.
I know where you’re coming from when you say nobody understands, you feel like a freak and you’re on your own, but youre not.
Decide when your DAY ONE of the challenge is going to be. And don’t forget about the hobby etc.
I slept 6 hours last night, the most sleep I’ve had in bloody ages! And, the sun is shining and it’s my last day of being 36! Bring it on! You can do this! Amanda xx
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.