19 and struggling

[Louise1234]

I am 19 years old and i have been suffering with panic attacks since i was 16 years old.

I joined to this site yesterday and i am finding it very helpful.

I find it very difficult going through my panic attacks. I now have no confidence and find my self very worthless. I struggle to go with people. i cannot go out by myself as i am frightened.

I just want to be able to get rid/control my panic attacks and be the young confident bubbly girl i used to be, which i doubt i will ever be again. I have become very sensitive since my panic attacks, and it is a very sensitive subject to me and i sometimes find it very difficult to talk about things.

I am looking forward to helping other people out the best i can and getting help and advice from other people too :)

[nomorepanic]

Hi Louise1234

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[Elle-Kay]

Welcome Louise; I'm glad you have found us.

I too was around 16 when I started suffering with anxiety/panic - I bet it was a bit difficult for you at school at times? I couldn't go to school at one point, and had to have a phased return negotiated for me because I wasn't able to cope with doing a full day (I was bullied, which didn't help).

Keep your chin up; after all the initial trouble I had at the start I ended up doing my undergraduate degree and two postgraduate qualifications at University, without the 'dreaded A word' holding me back from achieving, so it doesn't have to rule you, even though it is hard to deal with sometimes.

When people said that kind of thing to me I would automatically think "yeah, but you're not me - you're probably a stronger person than me", but trust me; this isn't true. We're all in the same boat here - we all have the things that scare us, and we've all had our lows, but we're all still here, no matter how much our anxiety has scared us, which proves that we're *all* strong people, including you if you've coped for three years :)

[Louise1234]

Thank you Leah,

Yeah it was really difficult as i was finishing doing my GCSE's and then straight into an apprenticeship which i had to leave because of the panic attacks, I also got bullied at some points in school too..it was a very difficult stage to go through at that point.

This tuesday coming i am starting an apprenticeship in hairdressing (which is what i started when i left school) and i am so frightened because its the same job when i first started getting them and standing up all day long because when i panic my legs shake and im not going to be able to hide that when im standing there all day doing clients hair which is what i am so afraid of :( and having a panic attack infront of new people.

Thank you very much for replying to me :) x

[Elle-Kay]

Try not to worry. It is hard to go into a situation where you've panicked before, but nothing is a foregone conclusion. After all, even if you get hiccups once after a fizzy drink, you don't get them every time :winks:

I have problems standing still when I get panicky - I need to move about or I tremble/get pins and needles. This is normal (as I'm sure you know - it's your body preparing you to run away from a danger). Sometimes you can't move about though, as you said, so what I do is: tap my toes! If I can (i.e. if I'm not in the middle of a conversation with someone!) I count my taps in my head too, and time them to each minute, because if you breathe slowly, think positive thoughts ("I've done this before, and I'll do it again" or "I'm perfectly safe; nothing can harm me here") and interrupt the panic thoughts you can stop a panic attack in 3 minutes. Three minutes of discreet toe-tapping is manageable in most scenarios I've come across - cinemas, restaurants, meetings, hairdressers (on the 'other side' of the scissors! :winks:)...

Good luck on Tuesday; we'll be thinking of you!

---------- Post added at 17:13 ---------- Previous post was at 17:09 ----------

p.s. on Tuesday I'm going back to volunteering for the National Trust for the first time in several months. This is a biggish thing for me because at the moment my anxiety has flared up a bit and I'm struggling more with travelling away from my home, so the 45 minute journey there & back will be a bit of a challenge. I'll think of you at your apprenticeship though, try to take my own advice, and hopefully we'll both be able to report a good day's 'work' on Tuesday evening :)

[Louise1234]

Yeah i really do struggle going back to a place where i have had a panic attack before, and yeah thats true haha :)

Oh okay that sounds really good, next time i panic i will try it out and hopefully it helps me.!

Thank you so much!! Good Luck to you aswell and i hope you get on okay.

And yes defo please let me know how you did and i will too :) Thank you!! :)

[Pipkin]

Hi Louise and a big, warm :welcome: to NMP!

Pip x

[Louise1234]

Aww Thank you :) x

[Joseph Martin]

Hi there,

This is my first post on a forum like this, so apologies if I do anything wrong!

My name is Joseph and I am also 19. I left school when I was 17 1/2, and it was honestly the worst year of my life. I was on a very strong type of medication called Roaccutane, which is used to treat acne. Since I was on this, panic attacks soon became the norm, and have worsened as time has went on. This is a known side effect (amongst others) of this particular medication. I am now no longer on Roaccutane.

I had a similar time to yourself, Louise1234. I couldn't leave the house myself due to fear, and couldn't drive unless someone was with me. I had no friends and would often be set off by such things as a door banging or a dog barking, and very frequently ended up in tears as a result. I am still this way.

Over the past year, I have overcome hurdles, although I really don't think of anything which I've achieved. I've managed to attend college, and have recently achieved a 'B' at HNC level Business Management. I also now have a few good friends from college whom I spend time with.

The anxiety and panic attacks still remain. I find it hard speaking to anyone about what goes on for me. I've had counselling (twice), but it could only be offered up until my 19th birthday, due to it being a youth counselling service in Scotland only being able to offer clients the service from c.15-18 yrs. I found counselling helpful but I'm not really keen on starting counselling again because (A) it means relaying my story to a new counsellor all again, and (B) the stigma which can be conveyed from others as 'you're at counselling' etc. I don't speak to my family or friends about much of my problems, as both my parents have been ill for a number of years (my dad has clinical depression, my mum has bad M.E.). I suffer from panic attacks, Depression and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

I begin to feel panicky occasionally, but sometimes it passes after a few hours or a day. However, in my college course I have been wrongly accused of cheating (as have friends) by a lecturer, and have been called to attend a meeting this Thursday. Although I know that I have done nothing wrong, I feel that I cannot cope. Since receiving the notice today, I have been unable to control my panic, and I know that it will consume me over the next few days. I don't do running away - although I'm not a confrontational person, I always feel that being in the centre of a situation is better than running away from it, because then it is being 'nipped in the bud'. However, as I said, I really cannot cope with confrontation, and I don't want to embarrass myself in front of lecturers and friends on Thursday by having a panic attack! I also have been feeling over the past couple of weeks that I need to speak to my GP about my panic (and other problems), but I'm just too scared to.

I'm really sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong place, and apologies for writing an essay, but I just needed to get some things off my chest.

Best Wishes.

[Louise1234]

Hi Joseph,

Im really sorry to hear about your panic attacks!! :( its such a horrible thing to go through!!

With the part about cheating..just tell the truth of what you know...no one else knows the truth of the matter but you! and if you do panic then just explain im panicking because of the stress that you have caused me by accusing me of something that i have not done, you know the truth no one else, so theres no need to worry. I hope everything gets sorted for you!!


Yes i am having the same problem i want to speak to my doctor but im just too embarresed! as it is a very sensitive subject, the past 2 days i have been waking up feeling like i cant breathe properly and feel like i am short of breathe. someone said this was due to the anxiety but i still believe its not and that their is something actually wrong with me! i hate this feeling and just wish it would go away now!

Best wishes to you too! x

[Bramwell]

Louise, Joseph, etc - I've been having Panic Attacks for almost 40 years now - also a side salad of Depression occasionally.
PLEASE DO NOT FEEL EMBARRASSED ABOUT TALKING TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM. You will live in misery if you do. Your GPs are dealing with this ALL day long, they know more about it than you do.
Read Boshers Blog in the Prozac thread to see what I went through when there was virtually no help available.
Get your a*ses in gear and see those GPs.
Good luck. :)

[Louise1234]

thank you for your reply!

haha yeah thats true thank youu :)

---------- Post added at 18:32 ---------- Previous post was at 18:32 ----------

thank you for your reply!

haha yeah thats true thank youu :)

[Joseph Martin]

Thank you for your replies. Your kind words really mean a lot to me.

I can also relate to having disturbed sleep - I often 'starve' myself of sleep because I feel that when I lie awake at night, I am constantly thinking over the same bad thoughts. When I went to my first counselling sessions two years ago (CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), I learned that this is known as 'ruminating', IE when your thought pattern is stuck in a vicious circle.

The last couple of days, with the heightened stress levels, I have been unable to sleep properly, have had a racing heartbeat, and have not been able to eat properly. It sounds silly, but I am glad that this meeting is tomorrow - because then I will not have to worry about it any longer over the weekend!
I've written points down to help me, to make sure that I can distract myself from the panic.

I will try to now take steps to visit my GP. I really feel as if I need further help, but I think I will have to take it in steps to finally visit the Dr.

Best wishes to you all x

[Seanydee]

Health anxiety hit me when I was 30 I've been suffering for 9 months and it runs my life so for u to be 16 and going threw the same thing as me makes me feel like the lucky one I can't even begin to understand how your coping my thoughts are with u :)

[Chris24]

Hi louise,

Well i know exactly what you mean, i have left a very good medical professon that i trained damn hard for after suffering panic/anxiety attacks whilst at work. Unfortunately i then associated the panic with that environment. Sound stupid but other sufferers know this all to well!
Well i have had enough I plan to recover fully and if you need any advice or web addressess that i have found useful just let me know.

Best wishes

[R.Barratt]

Hello louise :)
I am so glad you have found this website which has helped so many people. All the people on this site are so helpful by giving so much advice and sharing there personal stories.
I am rebecca. And 17 years old. I have also suffered with anxiety and depression for years. If you ever need any advice or just need to rant please meesage me anytime you want xxxx

[Louise1234]

Thank you everyone for your replies...This might sound the most stupidest thing ever to say and im actually embarressed to say this...but when im going through anxiety stages/panic attacks i always get a feeling like im going to swollow my tounge and it starts to feel weird like i will bite it to make sure it stays there, i know this is really strange thing to say but i need to let it out because it makes me panic so much!! :'(