hello new member :-)

[hollie24]

hello just thought i would introduce myself. im Hollie and i have been diagnosed with panic disorder, health anxiety and ocd..

well it all started a week after i had a surgical termination at 13 weeks..
my baby had a neural tube defect which meant he wouldn't of survived outside the womb. i was feeding my 8 month old son on the sofa and it felt like i was caving in on myself and thats when the sheer fear sunk in i thought i was having a heart attackand from that day on ive never felt the same..
i went to the docs and they put it down to me being run down and depressed (i was run down because i returned to work 2 days after my op and was non stop with my 3 children) i didnt grieve for my baby..
the past month though the anxiety has got worse i compulsively check my body for new lumps and bumps.. my hand go blotchy i'm always checking my pulse..
my question is does anybody here feel as though they are permanently spaced out like there not real in this world? my muscles ache all the time is that the anxiety? it sooo frustrating because i've never worried about my health before i'm not an ill person so i'm finding this really difficult to deal with..
thankyou for reading my rant
hollie :-)

[Kelxx]

My muscles ache a lot, and it is due to my anxiety :). we tense without even knowing it, sounds mad but its true. even in your sleep we can tense if we are in a worried state. :)

[hollie24]

thanks for your reply.. I've noticed that my body is a lot more achy then usual especially my shoulder and my arms even worse when i have my handbag on my shoulder.

[saab]

Feeling spaced out is a common symptom of being very tired and stressed. A feeling of unreality is a common anxiety symptom too. You have been through a lot and it will take time to come to terms with your loss. This board will give you lots of support. There are lots of great sites for anxiety and if you read a few threads you will find lots of coping strategies and ideas for managing your anxiety.

[cassy1989]

Hi Hollie.

Welcome to nmp. It's not wonder you are feeling so anxious when you have been so much. I'm so sorry to hear about your baby, I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you to have to go through all that.
As you, yourself said, you haven't even had time to grieve for your baby yet so no wonder your body is reacting in this way.
Every thing you have said is very common in anxiety.
I go through phases of a couple of months at a time where I feel completely spaced out constantly, like nothings real. And i get the aching muscles and sometimes the feeling that my arms aren't really there as well.
If you ever want to chat feel free to pm me xx

---------- Post added at 23:01 ---------- Previous post was at 22:59 ----------

Also I thought I would add the thing that started my anxiety off was when I was 3 months pregnant and at my first scan they said it was possible my baby would be born with his insides on the out side of him. I had another scan 2 weeks later and luckily he was fine but it terrified me. That was 8 years ago now and I still have health anxiety xx

[hollie24]

thank you for all your lovely replies. when this all started i was a nervous wreck i couldn't go a day without having a panic attack. i rang 111 so many times i think they knew me by my voice lol..
the past 4 weeks have been good though i still religiously check my body all day and feel spaced out. but the panic attacsk have seemed to stop i can control them. i just talk myself out of one when i can feel the build up..
it seems to be worse at night when the kids are in bed and im chilling out i concentrate on my breathing which gets me panicky, then i check my pulse and my temp cause i start sweating, then the toilet trips start and i cant sit still that's when i sit there and say to myself if you carry on your gonna feel like you did before, you'll call an ambulance out and they will tell you your all fine then you will profusely apologize to the ambulance crew.. i also feel bad for my partner too cause since having this I'm forever apologizing cause i feel like Ive let them all down cause I'm not the happy partner and mum i was :(
xxx