View Full Version : Is this part of social phobia?

14-07-06, 11:32
I have always had problems with social situations. But there's one thing I get and I wondered if anyone could tell me, if this is also part of social phobia?

It's an "in the way" feeling, like i'm a nuisance. Examples would be, if I was at college, work etc and there was a group of people talking, I felt I couldn't join them because they wouldn't want to know me and I'd just be in the way.

And I get it in situations like last night, I phoned my boyfriend and I didn't know his mate was there. Then I asked him what he was doing and as soon as I found out his mate was there, I could imagine his mate standing there waiting, and that I was holding them up, been in the way of them having fun, etc.

Is this also part of social phobia?

Heather x

14-07-06, 11:56
OMG I've just looked in mirror!!!!
Do you find yourself apologising all the time to - even when it's not your fault?

14-07-06, 12:11
Hi Mags,

Thank you for your reply.

It's something I've for years thought was just me.

I do apologise alot. I've cut it down a bit with the help of my boyfriend. But I do think things are my fault and hate to bother people.

Even when my boyfriend says you don't need to be sorry, I feel it, and he's said i'm not bothering him so many times, but it doesn't stop me feeling it again.

Heather x

14-07-06, 12:50
Whoa! I know exactly how you feel too. I am constantly saying to people have I annoyed you? Or sorry all the time! I always feel that I annoy people and that they don't like me.

x x

14-07-06, 18:17
Snap again to both of the above.
Shopping for example, if my partner & I are doing a shop & someone walks straight out of an aisle in front of us or rams me with their trolley, I always stop and say "Oh sorry". He keeps saying to me 'Why do you do that?' and I think 'yeah, why DO I? Five minutes & another trolley later and I'll do the exact same thing again!
I'll also step off a narrow pavement to walk on the road for someone who doesn't give my safety a second thought.
Why do we do it!!?
We're obviously more thoughtful but thoughtfulness is sometimes both frustrating & exhausting!!

14-07-06, 20:39
Hi Heather,

All I can say id "DITTO" to all of the above. and yes Magz tis very exhausting & Frustrating!!!!!! Yet we still continue to do it huh!

Take Care,

Love PIP'S X X

15-07-06, 10:39
Thank you everone for your replies.

I'm doing it again this morning, thinking something is my fault.

I've tried to ring my boyfriend and half way through the ringing tone, it hung up. Then it now says this phone is switched off.

He's coming to see me today, and the rational side of me is thinking, he might have gone to a shop and is getting served and can't answer or something or his phone battery might be dead.

But I can't stop also thinking, have I done something wrong and he doesn't want to speak to me, Even though we've not had an argument or anything like that.

Heather x

24-07-06, 00:00
Do you go from one negative thought to another finally feeling worn out with it all and feeling like you are driving yourself insane?

02-08-06, 12:33
Hi jilguero,

Sorry I've taken a while to reply to you. I don't anymore but there was a time when I thought very negatively. I've changed my way of thinking over the past couple of years and now try to think positively as much as possible. I did this with the help of a self help book and also my current therapy, I still have some other problems to overcome yet though, like this social phobia,

Hope this helps,

Take Care,

Heather x

02-08-06, 12:54
Hi Heather, social awkwardness is not uncommon, don't feel too down about it. Some of us have to learn how to cope, to the lucky ones it comes naturally ..... bl**dy annoying isn't it ?! lol:)

03-08-06, 11:09
Hi Dave,

Thank you. It is annoying and hard at times. I know what you mean about it coming naturally to some people, one of my cousins is younger than me and ever since he was little he's always just talked to anyone.

Heather x