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View Full Version : Struggling, just need a virtual hug, I suppose



cerridwen
24-06-12, 22:53
Hello all,
I am feeling pretty low at the moment and desperately want to talk to people who understand. I have been suffering with full blown health anxiety for about ten years, and I am an anxious person by nature. My mum, who is elderly and not in good health, also is a bit neurotic and anxious (always has been). She is clinically depressed (refusing medication), arthritic, with diabetes and has many, many physical symptoms. When we solve one physical symptom by GP visits and treatment, then another one appears. She talks of nothing but ill health. She is currently suffering upper back pain, rib pain and pain in her right hand side and talks of little else.
The problem is, I am an only child, my Dad has early stage dementia and I seem to have become the only support my mum has. She doesn't drive, is socially isolated and very dependent on me. She rings me two, three, four times a day, sometimes more. She talks of nothing but doctors, ill health and pain. I know she is suffering but being with her for just a short while triggers my health anxiety. I get overwhelmingly anxious. I am having difficulty sleeping, am having panic attacks and I, too, have this irrational fear that there is something seriously wrong with her. She is waiting on blood test results and is waiting for an ultrasound scan. I will have to go with her to the hospital. This is making me really ill and I don't know what to do. My mum has always been the one to really over emphasise symptoms, in the past when she has a headcahe she's got a brain tumour, if you know what I mean. I am so miserable. My husband doesn't understand, he thinks she is being unreasonable dumping on me so much and is less ill than she makes out. He may be right, but what if he isn't?

Cerridwen:weep:

BlueEyes28
24-06-12, 23:12
Hiya hun god you do have a lot on your mind bless you, I also have suffered with health anxiety for the past 10 years so totally understand that side of it but as for having to look after someone let alone someone as close as a mum with the same condition I can't even begin to understand how hard that must b:hugs:e for you, but all I can say is you must be sucg a strong person seriously I don't think I could do that with anxiety myself! Wow give yourself a pat on the back looking after a loved one in general is difficult so don't be so hard on yourself it does sounf like you need a break, isn't thier anyone else who could take over her care for a little while or someone you could share duties with? As much as i'm sure your mum's needs are important to you, you also have to look after yourself! Are yoi getting any therapy? I too am suffering quite badly at the mo so I completely understand and i'm new to the site so always here to chat if you need to :hugs:

---------- Post added at 23:12 ---------- Previous post was at 23:12 ----------

Sorry about the extra hug bloody phone hahaha ;-)

hoppipolla
24-06-12, 23:23
I know people like that! Does she have IBS? IME most health problems are at their root caused by leaky gut syndrome >.<

Just my 2 cents though. And try not to let it get to you :)

cerridwen
25-06-12, 16:30
Thanks for your support, BlueEyes and Hoppipolla,

My mum being unwell has brought me up close and personal with my own health anxiety demons. And back come my chest pains, the hyperventilating and the sleepless nights, the sick stomach and the website surfing (looking at symptoms). This is a real vice for me; I always seem to go straight for the serious, life-threatening diagnoses and I should stop looking but I can't..
The truth is, I love my mum. I know that at some point we will have to say goodbye, and I know that all the anxiety in the world isn't going to prepare me for that moment.
I've started noticing lots of symptoms in my own body as a result of mum being ill; I don't take anything for the anxiety and I am beginning to think I should. Does anyone have any experience of medications here? Should I consider this? Perhaps a mallet on the head, maybe? At least I'd get a good night's sleep.........

Yours,
Cerridwen:scared15:

BlueEyes28
25-06-12, 22:30
Bless you, I've been taking effexor for 9 yrs i feel its really helped me this is the first bad bout ive had for 7 years now! As for weather i think you should try meds that really has to be your desision but i beleive they really do help, it can sometimes take time to find the right med for you but well worth it when you do, they give your mind a chance to recover giving you a fighting chance of taking back control therapy is also very effective it just sounds like you are such a caring person that just keeps giving which is great but you'd be a lot stronger in dealing with your mum's needs if you also looked after your own, whatever you choose I wish you all the best and i'm here if you need some support god knows we all need it on here :hugs:

cerridwen
27-06-12, 09:09
BlueEyes,

What wise words; thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for your support. I know instinctively that you are right, and it is so difficult to take care of yourself when you have been programmed for caring since you were a small child. Time to rewrite the programme?

I will book an appointment today with my GP and have a chat wth him.

Love and hugs,

Cerridwenx:hugs:

BlueEyes28
27-06-12, 11:36
Your more than welcome, and great that your taking the first steps, let me know how it goes ;-)