PLEASE HELP!!! I REALLY CAN'T COPE!!!! [Archive]

Eclipse

14-07-06, 19:50

Chuckle,
I know I'm newish here, but I'm going to say it anyway - don't you DARE let them win.
I have read SO many of your posts comforting and supporting other people and this site is a good place because of people like you.
If they take your kids and you take Kev's pills who have your children got to come back to if you're not there?
It'll break their hearts more if their mum's not around ever again.
Truly my thoughts & hopes are with you
Magz
XXXX

chucklehound

14-07-06, 19:54

Oh Magz, that made me cry even more. Thank you so so much,.i will have no life without them anyway

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Piglet

14-07-06, 20:05

Hun did the social workers actually say that they are taking your children into care purely because you can't go to the shops???

This is nothing short of incredible - I have never heard of such a thing. Have you been in touch with your solicitor???

Please dont give up - your kids are your kids forever, long after they are children and they will always know how much you love them. This must all surely be a mistake and will get corrected forthwith.

Please try and seek some legal advice love.

Piglet x

chucklehound

14-07-06, 20:11

Hi Pig, yes they have said they are taking the kids on Monday.I have got to talk to my solicitor on Monday to get help there.
Thank you for your support

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

kate

14-07-06, 20:11

Chuck,

Like Piglet I find this totally incredible. Where are the CPN's when you need them? Where is the support from the mental health team and your GP? They should be helping to make your life easier not making it 100% worse.

As Piglet says, you need urgent legal advice.

Thinking of you

Kate xx

"Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same"

chucklehound

14-07-06, 20:16

Hi Kate, thank you for support. I have never had any support from any one, my Dr is **** and I don't have a CPN.
I am getting urgent legal advice thank you hun for your support.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Eclipse

14-07-06, 20:23

Chuckle, you HAVE to stay strong for your kids sake. However black things seem now, you've got to fight for them.
Like Piglet says, "they'll be your kids long after they're children"
Won't it be great when, in years to come, they can turn around and say 'the system tried to break us up, but look how hard our mum fought for us'
I'm not trying to be philosophical but you're worth so much more than you're being put through at the moment.
Love
Magz
XXXXXX

chucklehound

14-07-06, 20:27

Awwww thank you Magz, your replies always touch me, I will try my hardest to fight for them.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

pips

14-07-06, 20:47

So very sorry to hear that chuckle. It's terrible to be treated like that!!

Try to stay strong hun Fight the Fight!

I'm thinking and routing for you. I hope you manage to get the legal advice soon. Take Care of yourself and let us know how you get on.

Good luck hun.

Love Hugs and POSITIVE vibes coming right your way.

Pip's X X X X

eeyorelover

14-07-06, 20:50

That is horrible!!! How can they do that? You know I wonder how people like that can sleep at nite!!!!
I don't have any words of wisdom Chuckle but I if I was closer I would offer to come over and beat some social service as@ for ya :)
Not much help I know but still it's something.
It'll all work out hun I know it will!!
If you need me all you gotta do is holler !!!!!
((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))
Sandy

chucklehound

14-07-06, 20:50

Hi Pips, I will let you know how it goes

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

chucklehound

14-07-06, 20:53

Oh sorry Sandy, we posted together hun. I nearly punched the bitch myself, they probably don't sleep at night, I bet they sit up thinking what poor child they can take next...

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

eeyorelover

14-07-06, 20:57

You know I was thinkin - if you have trouble with shopping maybe someone on here lives close to ya and would be willing to help with that. At least it would be a short term solution to that part of it.
Whatcha think??
xxxx
Sandy

chucklehound

14-07-06, 20:59

I don't know anyone round here at all, they are all old biddies, but thank you for the thought.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Karen

14-07-06, 21:01

Hi Chuckle

I can't believe they are taking your children away because you are not able to go shopping. This is just incredible.

What you need is support and help to do things like this.

I hope you get the legal help you need to prevent this happening. Stay strong. We are here for you.

Karen xx

chucklehound

14-07-06, 21:04

Thanks Karen, I couldn't believe it either. I was so shocked I grabbed my youngest in my arms and just darted down the street. They offer no support for me at all, they are bullies.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

polly daydream

14-07-06, 21:33

Hi Chuckle, please stay strong for the kids hun, they need you so much. I can't believe they are taking the kids for such a silly reason, anyway try to stay positive and make sure you do seek advice.

Take care,

Polly x

chucklehound

14-07-06, 21:38

Hi Polly, I am desperately trying to stay strong, its tough though, I \m just crying the whole time.
Thanks for your support hun

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Eclipse

14-07-06, 21:43

I have to get off the pc now cos my other half wants to use it but, I will be thinking of you & will be back again tomorrow sometime.
Nite for now!
Magz
XXXXXX

chucklehound

14-07-06, 23:04

Thanks Magz for your continued support, speak tomorrow.

Thanks to everyone who replied to this post your support is greatly appreciated.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Dave777

15-07-06, 05:38

Hi mate, don't despair, give it time and you'll sort things out.

D777[8D]

chucklehound

15-07-06, 07:29

Hi Dave, thank you for your support.
I will PM you later.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

chucklehound

15-07-06, 07:34

I have been awake since 5 am, reading some forms that the social services gave me yesterday which I SHOULD have been given before the meeting. It seems it is deffinately all Kevs doing, he told them that he wants the children removed from my care. This is just to hurt me, he has told me loads of times that if he can't have the kids then neither can I.

I have wrote the court a letter for Monday and hopefully this will help my case.

Thank you all for your replies. You are the real friends of the forum, you have given me some great support and touching words. And no matter what happens, whether I lose the boys or not, I will not forget all of you who have posted your support to me. Thank you all so much.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

giddy

15-07-06, 08:29

Hello Chuckle
My heart was in mouth reading your post - it beggars belief!!
You must stay strong for your kids - you all need each other so much. I hope your letter helps on Monday, I'll be thinking of you.
take care of yourself
love Helen

carlin

15-07-06, 10:15

Hi, Sorry so late in responding. I can only imagine what you are going through. Be strong. xxxxx

marie ross

15-07-06, 11:30

Hi Chuckle,

I've only just read this post - and it has reduced me to tears.
Fight the ******ds, stay strong for your children - we are all here for you.

Good luck for Monday, i will be thinking of you.

Take care.

Marie XXX

Daisybun

15-07-06, 11:36

Hi Chuckle, just to let you know i am still thinking of you and praying for you hun.

Take care
Daisybun

'This too will pass'

honeybee3939

15-07-06, 11:48

Hi Chuckle.

I am thinking of you too !

Be Strong !!

Love

Andrea
xxxx

darkangel

15-07-06, 13:14

hi chuckle

i dont know your personal circumstances - but you need to take action NOW.

this is so similar to me about 8 yrs ago. my ex husband said i was an unfit mother and couldnt take care of my child because I had agoraphobia and I self harmed and he threatened that if i left him he would ensure i would never see my child again. He was always calling the police and social services.

I was reassured by my GP, psychiatrist and CPN that this would not happen. Get a good lawyer and back up from the mental health team if you are getting support there. Get in touch with the Citizens advice bureau - anyone to get you help.

Keep strong

darkangel

........life is for living not just for surviving

Chardonay

15-07-06, 13:46

Hi Chuckle,

So sorry to hear things are not going right.
We are all here for you,you are not alone.
Things will get better but will take time.

Pm if you want someone to talk to.

Best wishes.

Tall dark and mysterious was his name,
magic love and money was his game.

Beauty is a real thing, not just a reflection in the mirror.

Somewhere over the rainbow,been wicked.

chucklehound

16-07-06, 19:51

Hi all and thank you for your continued support. I have not coped too well at all although I have put a brave face on for the boys.
To be honest, I feel like I am having a breakdown. I do not know how I will cope if the worst happens tomorrow.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

chucklehound

16-07-06, 22:38

A friend of a friend has come up with a positive...

I have only been given half an hour tomorrow to get a solicitor, tell him what has happened, tell him what I want him to do and get him to court.
Because I have not been treated fair in this way, I have got to ring the court tomorrow and ask to speak to the court of the clarke and tell him my circumstances and he should postpone it until I have a solicitor.

I supposedly stand a good chance, glad someone is thinking positive.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Piglet

16-07-06, 23:18

Will be thinking about you tomorrow!

Piglet x

chucklehound

16-07-06, 23:58

Thanks Pig, will let you know how it goes.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

eeyorelover

17-07-06, 01:26

I will be saying a prayer and sending good thoughts your way for tomorrow :)
I just know everything is going to work out you:D
xxx
Sandy

Sandy
(eeyorelover)

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself. "I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along."

- Elenor Roosevelt

polly daydream

17-07-06, 01:51

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Hi Polly, I am desperately trying to stay strong, its tough though, I \m just crying the whole time.
Thanks for your support hun

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

<div align="right">Originally posted by chucklehound - 14 July 2006 : 22:38:05</div id="right">

</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

You are most welcome sweet, I just hope you get it sorted out asap, has any progress been made? keep us all informed hun.

Best wishes,

Polly x

chucklehound

17-07-06, 16:20

Not up to typing much right now.

They took my boys.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

alexis

17-07-06, 16:39

O Chuck Ive been thinking about you all day, I am so sorry, nothing I can say will help but we are all thinking of you.
Surely you must be able to appeal or fight or do something,xxxx

Karen

17-07-06, 17:31

So sorry to hear this Chuckle. I'm thinking of you.

Karen xx

nichiren

17-07-06, 18:00

Chuckle, my thoughts are with you... I am going to pray for you right now... I pray that you will find the strength to prove to these idiots that you can indeed provide your kids with the home they deserve... I'm only new here, but I am sincerely hoping for the best. Above all else, remember that you can only add value to your childrens lives through being alive. With heartfelt sympathy...

Steve xxx

To truly see existence as it really is, would be the greatest gift!

carlin

17-07-06, 18:18

Oh my goodness. My thoughts are with you. Please stay strong for your boys. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxjean

Piglet

17-07-06, 18:41

:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

No mother should ever have to go through this!!!!!!

Chuck hun once you have got over the shock and had a good cry - you roll up your sleeves and get those kids back.

Please tell me you have/are getting legal help here????????

Piglet xxx

chucklehound

17-07-06, 18:42

Thank you for all of your kind words, thank you Santmeinster for your prayers.
I have spoken to Jonathan and he sounds happy where he is. He said he loves me very much and is missing me. I wanted to cry but I didn't because of upsetting him so I kept it in.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

chucklehound

17-07-06, 19:18

Hi Pig, I am getting legal help. My solicitor was great today although it ended in the outcome I didn't want.
He rang me at 9am on the dot and made it to court by 9:30, he worked really hard and I am really pleased.

I am holding it together at the moment quite well, I thought I would crack up.
I just have to remember that to get my kids back, I have to be strong.

I can do this with the support from you guys, thank you so so much...

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

marie ross

17-07-06, 19:40

Chuckle,

Dear god, i have no idea of what you're going through at the moment, but my thoughts are with you and your boys constantly.

Sorry i've got no words to help you, but stay strong and be positive you will get through this, we are all here for you.

Take care.

Marie XXX

Sue K with 5

17-07-06, 19:50

Chris,

I cant imagine what your going through at the moment, I dont quite understand how in hells name social services could have done this to you, but the support from NMP is going to help you through this, dont give up and dont let this halt your recovery. These people can be a law unto themselves and I am certain that your solicitor will help you get the boys back.

A mum is a mum no matter what chris, You love your boys and they love you will all there hearts, so stay strong and dont give up fighting.

Wherever they are they are safe and secure in the knowledge of knowing that there mummy loves them

Sue

scknight

emmy

17-07-06, 20:24

chris i am so sorry to hear all this if you need to chat you know where i am hun..
i cnt believe they done this i thougth social was ment to help not make things worse..

keep positive babe i know its hard and i cnt imagine what your going through at the moment i know you are strong

all my thougths hun emilyxxx

if it looks like it works and feels like it works then it works!!!

Granny Primark

17-07-06, 21:20

Hi Chris,

Im truly heartbroken for you. No mum deserves this.
I really dont know how id have coped if this had happened to me.
My thoughts are with you
Take care
LYNN

Peru83

17-07-06, 21:20

Hi Chucks,

Sorry to hear all this hun, only just read your post. If you ever wanna chat mind I'm on MSN.

Take Carexx

Claire

onwards and upwards

anxious

17-07-06, 22:13

Hi Chuckle,

i have only just read this post and had no idea you were going through this (((((hugs))))))
Be strong and keep thinking of your boys

anx x

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects

chucklehound

18-07-06, 00:14

Hi all and thank you so much for your replies, they mean so much to me.
I don't think it has fully hit me yet but I was sitting in the boys' room tonight sobbing for them. Wanting my eldestto drive me mad and for the baby to cry for me. They drove me nuts at times but I still loved them all the same. They are great kids.

I am so heart broken right now, feel numb, its more like a death I suppose.
I just want to hold them in my arms and tell them how much they mean to me.

I have to get better for them.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

chucklehound

18-07-06, 00:55

I am still awake and feeling absolutely terrible, I just cannot relax. I rang the Samaritans and they didn't help, I feel bloody worse.

I don't know how I can get through this.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

chucklehound

18-07-06, 01:15

I can speak to my eldest tomorrow at 8:45am which I am really looking forward to. He is happy but missing me and his baby bro.
I can also see both of them on Wednesday at an adventure playground which will be fun for them.
I am just missing them both so much and feel I have nothing without them.
How can I possibly get through one single day without them????
They are my life, they have kept me together and now I have nothing.

I know that no amount of crying will bring them back but I just cannot help it.

sorry to keep going on.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

EebyJeeby

18-07-06, 02:47

Hi Chuckle,

I can only imagine how you are feeling tonight - I'm so sorry this has happened. And don't apologise for posting, because this is such a huge thing and everyone here is shocked by this too and will support you whenever you need it . You will get through day by day with the help of your friends and by looking forward to seeing them. Try to look after yourself though as you'll need your strength to get the help you need to sort all this out.

((((massive hug))))

Eeb x

chucklehound

18-07-06, 06:22

Thank you Eeb for your support.

I woke up at 6am after bloody dreaming about the boys, I don't want to get out of bed yet because I don't have breakfast to prepare for them. I have to go to the shop soon too which I am not looking forward to.
Today will be really hard for me and I thank you all for your kind words...

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

chucklehound

18-07-06, 07:01

I just got out of bed and went downstairs, the house is soooo quiet and it is horrible.
I had monophobia really bad a few months ago and I am worried that it will return.

I really don't know if I can get through today.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

giddy

18-07-06, 07:03

Dear Chuckle
I am so sorry, I can't imagine what you must be going through. Please, please try to stay strong for your and your boys sake.
Do take care
love Helen

chucklehound

18-07-06, 08:23

Hi Helen, thank you for your reply. I will try my best to stay strong for the boys.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

chucklehound

18-07-06, 08:30

I have just got back from the shop and although I went there and back in taxi and the shop keeper brought my things out to the taxi to me, I still think this is one step forward because I have NEVER been in a taxi on my own.

It went well, better than I expected...
I didn't feel at all anxious so maybe in a few days or a weeks time I will be able to get in to the shop myself.

My eldest is going to ring in 15 minutes and he will be so happy that I have been to the shop. Although he is only 6, he understands that I can't usually do these things. I know that he was worried about how I would do the shopping on my own and it will stop him from worrying about me.

Thank you all so much for your support, I couldn't get through it without the support of everyone who has replied and some fantastic friends on the phone. Thank you all so much.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

chucklehound

18-07-06, 08:58

I am absolutely heart broken, my eldest has not rang me. The carers said they would get him to ring me at 8:45 and I have been sat by the phone waiting. I don't have their number to call them.
My mind is racing so much, I don't know what to do.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Piglet

18-07-06, 09:32

Morning hun,

Firstly a massive well done for doing the shop and dealing with a taxi like that - brave girl!!!

Secondly what were the actual reasons given yesterday for the kids having to be in care temporarily?????

Thirdly try and think of it as the kids stayin with friends for a few days while you sort things out. This is just for a short while - they love you and you love them and where they are at present will not change that.

You try and be strong now mate - your true love for those kids will win the day.

Sending you the biggest hug ever.

Piglet xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

chucklehound

18-07-06, 10:39

Firstly Pig lol, thank you for your support.

Secondly, they are away from me because the ****ers feel that they are in danger of being neglectd if they stay in my care because of my agoraphobia. Also, Kev saying that I am a prostitute and that I am sniffing cocainne.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Ammeg

18-07-06, 11:03

OMG chuckle!!
Cant believe i didnt see this post b4!! I am so sorry for wot is happenin right now- i am in disbelief!!!
Wot they have done must be against the law!!!
Thinkin of u hun
Gxx

nichiren

18-07-06, 11:08

Hi again Chuckles...

I'm sorry you have had such an awful night... I am really hoping that things can improve for you. These must be the worst of times for you - but you ARE hanging on. I don't know your full story, but Kev sounds like he's not helping matters at all... Your boys are obviously very attached to you, and this experience can only strengthen their attachment to you, I'm sure...

I've got a some bad stuff hapenning at the moment, although nothing to compare with you - but my buddhist teacher told me I should see it as a blessing... work that out! On the other hand, it did bring me here, and now I'm hoping to provide some support to others, so perhaps it was a blessing... I don't know...

The suffering you are feeling must seem totally unfair. Whatever lead you into this situation can be changed though. IT CAN!!! Don't loose faith in the universes uncanny ability to perform revolutionary change in our lives. I don't want to sound all weird, but basically, what I'm saying is that if your heart desires to be happier so that you can care for your boys, then happiness will surely come. This doesn't make the long nights any easier to cope with I'm sure... and I'm sure you must truly be sick of trite words from people that don't really give a dam...

The solution here is within your power, Chuck... You must believe that the goodness within you can be revealed and realised. Once you truly have faith in your intrinsic beauty and goodness then you can start to help others again. I wish I could articulate this more clearly!

I'll be in chat most of the day on and off....

Take great care of yourself, Chuck... your boys love you and need you as much as want you.

Hugs

Steve

To truly see existence as it really is, would be the greatest gift!

Piglet

18-07-06, 11:28

Chuck,

Right, firstly yes your agoraphobia makes life difficult for you but with a little help and support it can be worked around and isn't going to be a permanent thing, after all what the hell happens in families where the mum is physically disabled and can't get out?

Secondly the prostitute and cocaine thing can obviously be disproved and when they are coming from a man with his history they need to be taken with a pinch of salt.

I am sure your solicitor will straighten out this horrible mess very shortly. Have you got another date in which to go back to court to disprove these allegations? Have they said what access in the meantime you are to be allowed - it can't be in the best interests of the boys not to have some regular access with you.

We are all thinking of you and hoping for a speedy favourable outcome for you. Just keep your faith of love going strong there mate!

Lots of love Piglet xx

chucklehound

18-07-06, 11:40

Thank you all for your replies.

I am still ssat on my bed, nothing to get up for.
I have had lots of time to think things through. I obviously have to go to the adventure park tomorrow to see the boys. I am anxious but excited. Anxious that I will be away from my safety zone - home, but so very excited about seeing my boys. We will have a good time out...

This next idea is my own idea. On one of the visits which will be supervised by the ****ers, I am thinking of trying to go to the supermarket.
Even if I can only get a few bits, it is still a BIG step forward.
I have to make sure the ****ers will let me do it. It's like being a child and having to ask permission...

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

heths

18-07-06, 12:01

Hi Chuckle,

I'm really sorry to hear you're going through all this.

I think you are coping well, I have agoraphobia too and know how hard it is, and I think you did well going to the shop. It's also good you're thinking about going to the supermarket.

Thinking of you, and hope you have a good time at the adventure park with your boys.

Heather x

chucklehound

18-07-06, 12:33

Hi Heths and thank you for youe support hun.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

pips

18-07-06, 12:34

Hi Chuckle,

I'm So very sorry they took them hun, Im thinking of you.

Well Done for going shopping in the taxi that's great news. Small steps and you will get there.

I hope you have a lovely day with the boys tomorrow try to stay STRONG mate.

Take Care Of yourself.

Love and Wishes,

Pip's X X X X

chucklehound

18-07-06, 12:42

Thanks Pips, I am trying to think positive.
I cannot even go into their bedroom, feels so strange for my baby not to be there looking back at me.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

suNOmates

18-07-06, 12:48

Ok Aunt Su here your going shopping if i have to come drag you there,
Dont you go thinking my adopted nephews are gonna be away long
I miss them too SO ( shat it OK ? )
Your coming walking with me on the mobile so get it charged :D
We will start with the street walking ( not that type )
Your lucky i dont do fear aint ya ? im well BrrAavvvvvvvEEeeee
you big weed get your shoes on
Shopping in nearest shop ( both of us ) by the weeeEEEeeeeKkkEnDD
im so brave and perfect

See you on the mobile today
Aunt Su

chucklehound

18-07-06, 12:53

I miss them more so nerrrrrrrrrr Su!!!!!!!!

We will get better, no rush, just one day at a time.
What a bloody life, stuck in?

We got to push ourselves to out limits.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Daisybun

18-07-06, 12:56

Hi Chuckle, Oh hun I am so sorry! I am praying for you. You have got the love and the strength to get through this and fight. Hold on and don't let go, you will win and justice will prevail. i just can't believe they have done this, it really stinks!!! Well done for going to the shop, enjoy your virtual shop on the mobile with Su. You can do this hun.

Take care
Daisybun

'This too will pass'

chucklehound

18-07-06, 13:00

I got no choice but to do it with Su, shes a forceful bugger LOL

Thanks for your support

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

carlin

18-07-06, 13:48

My thoughts are with you every day mate. xxxxxjean

chucklehound

18-07-06, 14:01

Hi Jean and thank you for your support.
I spoke to my eldest and he is having great fun. He is looking forward to seeing me tomorrow. He says he is looking forward to coming home asap

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

chucklehound

18-07-06, 15:15

I am feeling really low again, it's school run time.
If the boys were here, I would hate to be sat in a taxi waiting for my eldest to come out of school in this weather, but, I feel I would happily do it at the moment. Silly I know.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

nichiren

18-07-06, 15:46

Still thinking of you chuck... Give us an update on how things are going when you get time/energy... steve

To truly see existence as it really is, would be the greatest gift!

honeybee3939

18-07-06, 16:38

I am still thinking of you too Chuck !,

You are in my thoughts,

Love

Andea
xxx

Wannabeloved85

18-07-06, 17:06

i cant believe ive not seen this post. im gobsmacked.
But i think you are coping really really well. unbelievably well actually. I tried pm'ing you actually, didnt work lol. you mentioned you havent got a bank account and cant open one due to no passport or drivers licence etc, im the same! but i opened one online at nationwide and sent my proof off like they ask, i was suppose to sent a drivers licence off or a passport but i aclled them and explained i had none so they said a bill and a letter from the social will do fine. A lot of banks give debit cards, i couldnt get one,but you might. If not you could try a credit card and pay as you buy sort of thing. Just an idea.
Anyway, keep on fighting. Your doing great. Its about time the social services did their job properbly and not being complete t**t heads and hurting the wrong ppl.
Becci x x

Granny Primark

18-07-06, 17:31

Chuck I think its disgusting the way social services have treated you they should be ashamed.
As you know i used to be a community carer in your area. Sometimes as part of my job i was asked to do shopping for people or take a person shopping.
3 years ago i was asked to do shopping for someone who was in exactly the same situation as you. They were agrophobic and had 3 small children. Gradually the client began to trust me and found the confidence to come shopping with me.
Why on earth social services couldnt have provided you with this help and support is beyond me.
If id known about your plight sooner i would have got in contact with a friend of mine whos a social worker and sought the necessary help you so needed.

I really hope that things sort themselves out for you very quickly.
Take care
LYNN

trac67

18-07-06, 17:49

Hi Chuck,

If you give me the address of your social services then I would be willing to write to them to back up your case, as I am sure many others who know you well would too.

Ok it may not help, but it is worth a try and at least those of us who know you well can give you good references.

Just a thought

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

chucklehound

18-07-06, 17:58

Hi all and thank you for your replies. It's great to have such fantastic support.
An update: I am seeing them tomorrow at 10:30am and again on Thursday. I am really looking forward to doing it although there is still anxiety there, what if's????
What if I panic?
What if I can't get home quick?
What if it's too hot?
What if, when I get there, they are late?
and the list goes on

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Sue K with 5

18-07-06, 18:20

Hearing all this is breaking my heart, especially being agorphobic with four children, god this is so scary!

Imagine an organisation being able to do this kind of damage to an innocent mother trying to bring her children up its so sickening.

I agree totally with Trac, I think you should give us the address so we can all write to social services informing them of how unfair and wrong this is and the long term damage it can do to a child

Trac brilliant Idea I am sure many of us are behind that

Chucks tomorrow will be brilliant you will be amazed how quickly the anxiety will vanish once you see them.

They are your boys have a great day

Sue

Let us know the address

scknight

Granny Primark

18-07-06, 18:31

Hi chucks,
I truly agree with sue and trac. I live in your area and im still in close contact with a friend whose a social worker. If you like i could give her a call and see if anything could be done to help you.
Im sure all the support youve been shown from the members on this brill website would impress the social services.
Youve always been more than happy to give help and support to people on here, especially the newcomers.
Anything i can possibly do to help please dont hesitate to ask.
I really do want to help you get your kids back and that goes for all the members on nmp im sure.
Take care
LYNN

scoobygirl2005

18-07-06, 18:33

I agree with Sue, Trac and Lynn also. Would be a very good idea if you would give them your social workers address, then something can be done about this.

Scooby2005
x x

Wannabeloved85

18-07-06, 18:49

im having to agree too! my mum was agoraphobic and so was my mums mum!! you are not the only mother who cant shop! it needs to be properly looked into, by outsiders new to your case. the correct action given should have been like this, help and support given, not taking your childeren away. social workers get paid too much to do too little and too wrong.
Becci x

chucklehound

18-07-06, 18:59

I know what you are all saying but look at it from their point of view...
How can people who have not met me comment on what kind of a mum I am?
How can people say that my illness wont affect my boys?
I have had people ring the social services to put their view across and it got me nowhere and friends have been here and seen that I am a good mum.

I think it would be futile to be honest.
I just have to face the here and now, I have lost my boys and have to fight to get them back.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

chucklehound

18-07-06, 19:02

Oh no, I have just seen the weather and its going to be even hotter tomorrow! I hate the heat, it really makes my anxiety worse.
I will take a cold drink and a fan to keep me cool.
My eldest is really looking forward to it now and although my youngest doesn't know yet, when he sees me hhe will be really happy too.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

trac67

18-07-06, 19:04

Chuck,

Anything is worth a try mate, and of course we can say your illness wont affect your boys, most of us have children ourselves so we know what we are talking about.

If they get bombarded with letters from people you support and help then that would go in your favour mate.

It has to be better than nothing.

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

Granny Primark

18-07-06, 19:08

Well chuckle,
I know that if i was in your position id give anything and i mean anything to get my kids back. If it doesnt work then what have you got to lose. Surely things cant get much worse for you. I know how the social services work in our area. Ive worked with them for 10 years. They do there best to keep children with their parents.
Although we dont actually know you, we know that from this website youve made many friends. You really come across as a caring person, always willing to help other people. If your like that with strangers youve never met then you must be a fantastic caring mum.
Chucks weve had our differences in the past but il do anything in my power to help you.
Keep your chin up mate
Take care
LYNN

chucklehound

18-07-06, 19:11

I admit that my illness IS affecting my boys, I can't take them to the park, for a picnic etc etc

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Granny Primark

18-07-06, 19:23

Chucks,
Social services would have given you all that. Thats what theyre there for not to take kids away from their mums. Thats the last thing they want to do. It cost loads of money to put children into foster homes.
Dont except your position. FIGHT GIRL FOR ALL YOUR WORTH.
Your kids need you.
We all want you to win chucks.
Take care
Lynn

polly daydream

18-07-06, 19:26

Chuck, I'm so sad that they took your boys but sweetheart you will get them back, remember they are your boys and always will be, you must keep fighting. I'm glad to hear that you are staying strong, I know you must be finding it really difficult. We are all here for you and will support you where we can.

Take care,

Polly xx

chucklehound

18-07-06, 19:26

Lynn, believe me, I AM fighting. I went out this morning although it was in taxi, but its a start, I have not been in a taxi alone for years.
I am a bit down again at the moment, missing the boys so much.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

chucklehound

18-07-06, 19:28

Hi Polly, sorry, didn't see your reply. It is very difficult like you say and I will fight best I can.
Thank you for your support

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

honeybee3939

18-07-06, 19:30

Hi Chucks

I havent been able to take my kids for a picnic etc etc for around 8 years now, but it dosnt make me or you chuck a bad mother! I can think of many parents that leave there children home alone while they go to the pub etc, at least we are here 24/7 for them, my illness started when my kids where 7 and 5 they are 16 and 18 now. and i know they love me for the mother i am Agorophobic or not, just like your kids will love you.

Love

Andrea
xxx

chucklehound

18-07-06, 19:44

Honey, I agree with you, children adapt so quickly to situations. my eldest understands my illness to a certain extent.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Keitharcher

18-07-06, 20:42

Chuckie

You are made of stronger stuff, dont let the *******s grind you down fight back. You are ill they are discriminating against you because you are ill. See the solicitor, explain everything to him do not let a jobsworth destroy your family. I am here to give you moral backing and support you know that (though I havent been on line due to commitments just recently) I am here for you

Keith

Eclipse

18-07-06, 20:54

Chuckle,
Have only just been able to get back online to check how things are going.
So sorry to hear the news.
I'm sure if they could see all the support you've got behind you from everybody on this site it'd make them sit up & take notice.
Well done as well for making it to the shop, tiny steps this may seem but they all go towards making you stronger.
Like everyone's said already, your boys know you love them so keep your chin up pet!
Love Magz
XXXXXX

Magz :0)

Wannabeloved85

18-07-06, 21:15

Chuck, im not saying your illness will not affect your boys, it will! i know what its like to have a mum whose indoors all the time and not see her at school plays etc etc. IVE BEEN THERE! what im saying is i wasnt beat up,starved of assaulted in anyway. I was clothed,fed,bathed and looked after 100% and yes my dads always been here, if you class down the pub and out at work here.
Just because you cant enter a supermarket does not mean you are an unfit mother.
Becci x x x
P.s sorry if any of my posts are uncomforting in any way.

nomorepanic

18-07-06, 21:34

Chuckle

Just caught up with this and it is disgraceful

I am not sure they can take the kids like that for stupid reasons.

I personally will contact them for you as this is not right and I am probably stronger than you at the moment to deal with it.

Who do I complain to? What social service department?

We will get your kids back - don't you worry.

I can be a super sleuth when I want to be so may be able to find out what is going on for you.

It is very unusual to separate kids so why have they done that, that is highly irregular and not on!

How come you are meeting in a playground - normally this would be done under close supervision in an office - something isn't right there - I am sure they aren't following protocol so we can get them on that as well.

Don't let them win mate - you can get them back easily based on all this evidence - or lack of.

let me know ok

Nicola

Piglet

18-07-06, 23:27

Hi Chuck,

I too would be more than willing to add my name to the list of supporters because this kind of treatment just cannot be correct.

I would most definately let Nic have a go for you - (I know I would be grateful for the help if it were me) sometimes someone who isnt so emotionally involved can speak for you more clearly than you may feel you able to at the moment.

Let no stone be unturned to undo this unhappy mix up.

Big hug.

Love Piglet xxx

chucklehound

19-07-06, 00:53

Thank you all for your concern but no amount of talking and writing letters will get me anywhere because of confidentiality.

I have to fight them by getting better.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Sue K with 5

19-07-06, 01:14

Hi Chris

I spoke to my sister tonight who is a social worker for Hampshire district council.

I explained your story to her and mentioned the offer of support from NMP.

She seemed to think that because NMP is a website which is referred by many mental health services now that Nics offer to speak to them would have immense weight attached to it.

She also agrees that the whole procedure has been handled very badly and that you should allow Nic to make the call which could really help your case.

My sister works within family and children and fostering and she says that in the case of a parent with a mental health condition such as panic,anxiety and agoraphobia they tend to work within the home to support and care for you and the children because the long terms affects are more damaging to you as a parent.

You will get through this chris, we all have faith in you but allow Nic to make that call It would get those boys back so much quicker

Oh one other thing, Trac can also write about your huge success when she used to go to school with you every day and how much effort you put into it

Take care

Sue

scknight

wobily_lin

19-07-06, 02:20

Hi Chris,

I'm sorry I not been on much lately. I've just caught up with ur thread hun.

I have to agree with Nic and Sue here. I can't believe that they are usin this as a reason. I've never heard of such rubbish really its disgusting.

I would fight them all the way. Sod that. And if Nic can help then I would be grateful of any support from ppl. These are ur kids for god sake. Grrrr. Sorry hun it's just not right.

Im thinkin of you hun and i know you willl get thru this. We are all here for you so keep goin hun.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))) )))))))))
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Take care,

Lin.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

nichiren

19-07-06, 08:34

I know you're getting a lot of help and support from people here with far more experience of these matters than I, chuck, but I'm still rooting (routing?) for ya hun! It certainly sounds like someone has stuck their neck out here based on flimsey, circumstantial, or non-existing evidence - and I would imagine they are probably more worried about their own jobs now. Once they interview your kids, and the truth comes out, they are going to feel the full heat of the day!

I'm on chat most of the day for what it's worth... if I don't answer, then I'm walking the dog, or in the garden!

Love & light!

Steve

To truly see existence as it really is, would be the greatest gift!

chucklehound

19-07-06, 08:41

Sue, they will not discuss my situation with a complete stranger. None of you have met me so your words would do nothing for my case. The only way to get my boys back is to beat my agoraphobia.

A website will not get my boys back.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

chucklehound

19-07-06, 08:44

Someone is picking me up at 10:30 to go see my boys at the playground.
They gave me the c hoice of where to see them, social office, nursery or the playground. I choice the playground because it is out doors.

I am terrified of going now. I can already feel the anxiety going up.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

nomorepanic

19-07-06, 08:45

Have they told you that you can only have them back if you do ?

That is rubbish then! Loads of people with agoraphobia have kids that don't get taken off them.

Grrrrr - let me at them.

Nicola

chucklehound

19-07-06, 08:48

Nic they have told me that I have to be able to do day to day things e.g shopping etc
I can only do this is I work at it.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

marie ross

19-07-06, 08:54

Chuckle,

Good luck for with seeing your boys today, i truly hope you have a lovely day with them.

Words still fail me with this situation you are in right now but my thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Take care.

Marie XXX

trac67

19-07-06, 08:59

Hiya Chuck,

Writing to social services isn't trying to get information from them it is supporting your case, we aren't asking them to discuss your case with us at all.

When my anxiety hit me again big time a few months ago, I was offered help with my shopping and stuff outside the house if I felt I ever needed it.

I am sorry but for them to be saying you cannot have your boys back until you beat your agrophobia is beyond belief, no one knows how long it takes to get over being agrophobic, something is seriously wrong here if that is the case.

Mate if I was in your situation and people where offering to write to social services to help me I would jump at the offers, I would try anything, even if it was a shot in the dark, it has to be worth a try, it cannot do any harm to try.

Enjoy your time with the boys today and give them a hug from me.

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

chucklehound

19-07-06, 09:01

Hi Marie, thanks for the good luck wishes. I will try my best to have a good time out. My eldest has given me a list of things to take. I can't wait to see them now.
I am going to take my camera (if I remember) and take loads of photos of them...
(JUST FOR YOU AUNT SU!)
I have got my bottled water because of the heat.
I got my mobile so that I can text if I need to.

I hope this build up is worse than the actual doing it.
Right now, I can't catch my breath but I am putting that down to the heat more than anxiety.

Thank you for your support everyone

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

chucklehound

19-07-06, 09:04

Trac
I will get my boys back when I can convince them that I can do daily things.
I will ask the support worker today if people writing and ringing them would help me at all.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Granny Primark

19-07-06, 09:20

Chucks I know people who are physically handicapped and their children havent been taken off them.
Social services in our area are more concerned about keeping children with their parents than taking them away and putting them in care. Im truly baffled about what they are doing to you. It really is a disgrace.
Years ago my father came to live with me cus he had alzeimers. I had my daughter who was a toddler at the time. Rather than put my dad in care social services gave me help and support. I was even provided with a sitter who came and sat with my dad so i could go shopping and take my daughter to mums and toddlers.
You should really pester social services. What they are doing to you truly is horrendous.
Feel free to pm me if you want me to get in touch with my friend whos a social worker in our area.
I really hope you have a fantastic day with your boys. And take comfort from the fact that you have so many wonderful supportive friends on this website.

Take care
LYNN

chucklehound

19-07-06, 09:24

Lynn I will ask today if it will help my case for people to ring and write to them. If it will help my case then yes people can do it, if not then there is noting I can do about it.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Piglet

19-07-06, 09:32

Morning Chuck,

Please let Nic try hun - no one is wanting know personal details of your life and indeed the social workers arn't going to disclose anything to Nic that would break confidentiality.

The aim is make the social workers realise that you are and have been a valued member of a forum with some credibility and that as a collective we are questioning the ludicrous idea that someone can have their children taken away because they are agoraphobic. Your case is a worrying one because many of us on here are battling with agoraphobia so we doubly want to make sure of the facts of the law!!!

If they have taken your kids on the basis of what your ex said about being a prostitute and taking coccaine (which in my very honest opinion is more likely than because of the agoraphobia) then I also think that has its dubious sides - surely its not for you to prove your innocence in this matter but for them to prove your guilt!!!

I had always understood that in english law you are innocent until proven guilty.

Please be assured we are on your side and would like to lend our support.

Have a super day with the boys mate.

Love Piglet xx

Piglet

19-07-06, 09:40

Oh and for what it's worth I don't think its worth actually asking the social workers if Nic getting in touch with them will help. If they have made a mistake with your case then they are hardly likely to say yes are they. Best to just do it anyway!

Thinking of you lots and hoping this can all get sorted out sooner rather than later so those boys can come home.

Love Piglet xx

chucklehound

19-07-06, 12:45

I did ask and they said it will make no difference whatsoever. Oh well, thank you for your concern anyway.

I saw the boys at the playground and it went fantastically well. I stayed for the full hour and half and we all had great fun.
My youngest was clingy to me and my eldest was running wild.
I see them tomorrow at another playground which I am looking forward to.
I didn't have a panic attack and there was only slight anxiety.
Thank you all so much for your support, it is greatly appreciated.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

trac67

19-07-06, 12:49

Chuck of course they are going to say that to you, like piglet said don't ask just do it, there is more to this than meets the eye and you need to find it out, let us just give it a try.

Glad you had a good time with the boys.

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

Sue K with 5

19-07-06, 13:00

Well done chris!!

I am amazed how well you coped in that situation and being in an unknown place, I think you need a huge hug for doing it and coping.

I still think Nic making contact would be of huge help to you. I think after the way you have been treated its about time someone got to the bottom of the social services.

Those people are a law unto themselves. Agoraphobia is not something that just goes, I have had mine since i was 17 and it can be controlled but is not something that will ever be gone completely. Its something we learn to control and live with and with cbt and help you can be in charge of the feelings and even lead a relatively normal life.

I am glad the boys had a good time, but I do think your being to eager to please these people and you dont get anywhere sitting back. Let Nic kick arse chris. I reckon she would make a great spokesperson for you.

This time next week you could be back in court and the kids could be at home with you.

Hugs and well done

sue

scknight

chucklehound

19-07-06, 13:55

Sue there is no way I am just sitting back, I am ringing my solicitor today for support. I will get them back because I am working on my Agoraphobia.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

chucklehound

19-07-06, 14:31

I am back to being down in the dumps and wanting my boys. It was so hard to see them go today and it will be tomorrow too.
I just want them back.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Sue K with 5

19-07-06, 14:38

Hi Chris

It was not an accusaton it was meant in the sense that you must not let these people control you or your life. Thats why I wish you would accept the offer of help, from experience i have found the more people fighting your corner the better for you and the boys.

Dont take offence this is a rough time for you chris and your bound to be defensive but you dont have to be we are all here to support you and back you up.

Agoraphobia is not a reason to remove children thats why Pig, Trac, myself and other sufferers are so willing to help you because we also have the same problem.

For some of us it has triggered a very angry response because no one deserves to lose there children because of Agoraphobia

Sue

scknight

ollie35

19-07-06, 14:39

Chuckle..... trac and Susan and the others are so right. This seems a very strange case to me and I am sure their offer of help can only do good.

Well I know that I would take the offer up straight away, I would try anything. You must not let them win all of nmp is with you on this one.

Hope it all works out for you.

Paul

www.anxietynomore.co.uk

SpaceCadet

19-07-06, 14:44

Hi Chuckle,

Think your situation is outrageous..I'm sorry I have no words of wisdom for you but just keep battling for your kids.

I have used this site a few times..there are lots of knowledgable people on the discussion board and also lots of outlining facts on Human rights including children's rights too!
http://www.yourrights.org.uk/index.shtml

Hope it can be of some help!

Take care,

Lucy xx

"Things that go bump in the night,
Should not really give one a fright,
It's the hole in each ear,
That lets in the fear,
That, and the absence of light!" ~Spike Milligan

" The mind is its own place and in itself can make a Heav'n of Hell or a Hell of Heav'n"~ John Milton,Paradise Lost.

Sue K with 5

19-07-06, 15:03

http://www.direct.gov.uk/Parents/FamilyIssuesAndTheLaw/ChildrensRights/fs/en

http://www.direct.gov.uk/Parents/FamilyIssuesAndTheLaw/ParentsRights/ParentsRightsArticles/fs/en?CONTENT_ID=4002954&chk=JgXq/k

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/wales/family_parent/family/children_and_local_authority_care.htm

The last one is a link which will help you understand your care order in more detail.

My sister sent me these links and hopes you get this situation resolved asap.

The other thing she suggested is asking to go to a mother and child unit to help you and which will allow you to stay with the children whilst your supported back to health and where you will be given the utmost support and care.

These are just helpful links and resources Chris hope they help

Sue

scknight

chucklehound

19-07-06, 16:02

Thank you both for the links. I have saved them into my favourites and will look at them when I am feeling a little better.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

scoobygirl2005

19-07-06, 16:05

Hi Chuckle.

Why can't you just let Nic or someone ring them for you? It really would be a good idea you know, it may even get your boys back.

Scooby2005
x x

chucklehound

19-07-06, 16:07

Scooby it will not get me my boys back. I have to do it myself by getting better which I am trying to do.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

scoobygirl2005

19-07-06, 16:08

But if someone else puts their point of view in, it will really help the situation Chuckle. Its worth a try, what have you got to lose. If you really want them back then you will try anything, I really think you should let Nic or someone ring them. It would help.

Scooby2005
x x

chucklehound

19-07-06, 16:09

I have asked them earlier and it wont help me get them back, it's just a matter of working on the agoraphobia.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

scoobygirl2005

19-07-06, 16:10

Thats just what the social worker says though, they just say that as others on here said you don't know until you try! Just do it even if they did say it wouldn't help. As I said you may aswell try because you have got nothing to lose mate.

Scooby2005
x x

chucklehound

19-07-06, 16:23

Some of you seem sure that this will get my boys back and you probably have the same views - I am not accepting your help, which is not true.

How will what you say bring my boys back?
What would you say?
How would you convince them that I am a good mum?

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Piglet

19-07-06, 16:33

Hi Chuck,

I am so glad you had a lovely time with the boys - it must have been great to see them today.

I have to say that I am picking up very strong vibes that you don't want anyone from here to be getting involved with social services however kindly meant!

Hun please don't be afraid we are judging you - everyone has been very affected by your post and really want to help you get the boys back. The reason you are giving for not approaching social services here isnt really a valid one - its not really for social services to say whether it will help or not, as it has now become a legal matter. Would you prefer Nic to speak to your solictor instead.

I for one have no wish to add any extra distress to your present circumstances and no wish to overstep the mark either. Its just very hard to watch a young single mum struggling with the authorities, clearly out of her depth. There is no shame in needing help and I am quite sure if I were troubled you would help me!

I am not going to mention it again but if at anytime you change your mind and decide that any of us can help speak up for you, then please hun do just say. Infact if there is any matter at all that you need help with, please do pm me or any of us.

With the very best of intentions.

Love Piglet xx

chucklehound

19-07-06, 16:36

Thanks Piglet, I appreciate you dropping the great thought. I just know that it wouldn't have worked.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Sue K with 5

19-07-06, 16:48

Hi Chris

I am inclined to agree with Piglet, our intentions honey are genuine and are mainly concerned with your well being.

So Take good care and as piglet said should you need that chat or you have any questions or would like some help let us know.

This is probably a good time now for you to take a step back and reflect and have some YOU time because you are going to need your strength.

Hugs

sue
xx

scknight

chucklehound

19-07-06, 17:29

Thank you Sue.
I am just looking forward to seeing the boys tomorrow.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

trac67

19-07-06, 17:40

Chuck,

How do you know it wouldn't work?

I have to say I agree with Piglet, the reason you are giving for not accepting our help, is not a valid one

I am now going to take the plunge and say what everyone else is thinking, as you know me I always speak my mind, social services DO NOT take children away from a parent purely because they are agrophobic, if there are other reasons then no one is going to judge you, certainly not me, but please be honest, even if you don't want to go into details.

Mate i know you love those boys to bits, I spent enough time on the phone walking to school with you, listening to Jonjon chatting away happily, that is why I wanted to help you.

Things are not adding up here Chuck, but there is nothing we can do but hope things work out for you and your boys.

Take care
Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

polly daydream

19-07-06, 17:41

Hi Chucks, glad you saw your boys today and that you all had a great time, hope 2moro is just as good.

Thinking of you,

Polly x

chucklehound

19-07-06, 18:02

Everyone else can think what they want, I know the truth.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

chucklehound

19-07-06, 18:03

Hi Polly, it went really well today and I hope we all enjoy ourselves tomorrow too.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Karen

19-07-06, 18:52

Thinking of you Chuckle and I hope you have a good visit with your boys tomorrow.

Karen xx

chucklehound

19-07-06, 18:54

Thanks Karen for your support. We had a great time today and I let my eldest choose where he wanted to go tomorrow. He chose the brampton park which is usually very busy but I will get through it as I got through today.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

nomorepanic

19-07-06, 19:22

Hiya Chuckle

Glad you had a fab day today. Good luck for tomorrow as well.

What I don't understand is if they can see you taking the boys out how can they say you are agoraphobic. Surely you just proved you aren't?

I will make some enquiries about all this and let you know what I find out. Something isn't right here that's for sure.

Nicola

chucklehound

19-07-06, 19:52

But I am agoraphobic Nic, it took a lot of courage for me to do what I did today. I did it to prove that although I am agoraphobic I am willing to get better for my boys.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

chucklehound

19-07-06, 20:06

I don't believe that I am being judged here. Not sure how many don't believe me but I am really upset to find this out.

Thank you so much to the people who do believe me...

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Sue K with 5

19-07-06, 20:11

Right this is going to be really hard but i really do think I need to say what I have been told today

My sister is a Social Worker Manager for Hampshire District Council.

She came on NMP today as a guest and read the post because of concerns i raised relating to my own condition.

Obviously I have to consider that should warren ever refuse to help me with the children and do as he does for them, where would I stand. My sister was very clear and very firm about what she said:

No social services dept will remove a child or children from a home if the parent has agoraphobia or any other mental health condition unless:

There is reason which causes the social services to believe that a child is being harmed or in danger of being harmed

They apparently prefer to keep children and mother together at all times unless the child or children are in danger.

The court order will be raised and given once a child has been on an at risk register and only then.

The parent will be given the option to voluntarily request a child or children to be removed after the registration of a child has taken place.

The social services never make a judgement based on an accusation and would have to by law have proof that the child children are in danger and never go by circumstantial evidence. Ie Mrs smith said you child was playing in a park alone at the age of 4

Supervision is only given under circumstances where a child has as previously explained been or is at risk from a parent or parents and it is standard for a child to see his or her parent with regular access under firm supervision by the care worker or social worker.

Normal procedure is for parent to collect and return there children at designated times

This should clarify any concerns people have for there own situations.

sorry

sue

scknight

chucklehound

19-07-06, 20:14

sue they think that my boys are at risk of being neglected cuz of my agoraphobia

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

suNOmates

19-07-06, 20:16

Im glad you went girl
Keep it up Thanx for the lovely photos
Aunt Su

chucklehound

19-07-06, 20:19

Awww thank you Aunt Su, I will take some more tomorrow. You want a pic of the road I am travelling on too? LOL

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Granny Primark

19-07-06, 20:22

sue, thats so good of you to have posted this.
Ive been afraid that people who suffer from agrophobia with children and reading all this would be frightened out of their minds.
We are all here to help one another and not put fear into the hearts of people who are truly suffering.

Take care sue, i know youve been so very concerned about all this.

LYNN

chucklehound

19-07-06, 20:26

I feel I am beinng judged here and not believed.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

chucklehound

19-07-06, 20:33

Excuse me Lynn but if you think I am just doing this to scare people then maybe you should say so.

I have just lost my boys and all you can do is judge and have a go at me.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Sue K with 5

19-07-06, 20:37

No

Sorry my sister wendy is an amazing social worker and very very thorough and had they had concerns about your condition they would have sent out a community support worker to you or arranged for you to be seen by care in the community. Where they organise trips for children, taxis to go to school so you dont have to worry about going and collecting. Shopping, bill payments the whole works.

They would never ever remove the child or children unless they were in serious danger of being harmed or in danger or the parent.

Neither would a parent with agoraphobia be given supervised visits to their child or children.

If you have any queries email me and i will forward these onto my sister who is more than prepared to register and confirm all this herself

Sue

scknight

trac67

19-07-06, 20:38

Chuck no one is judging you at all, it is just that children are not at risk of neglect by someone being agrophobic, my kids were never taken from me.

If there is more to it just say that there is, even if you don't wish to say what, by posting that children get taken from single parents who are agrophobic is going to worry a lot of people.

Take care

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

chucklehound

19-07-06, 20:40

Maybe your sister would like to check again because in this area for sure they do not pay for taxis.
They did help with the shopping for a short period too.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

chucklehound

19-07-06, 20:42

I will just stop posting and carry on getting support from the people who are not judging me.

Thank you to everyone who has replied to my post and given me your support.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Granny Primark

19-07-06, 20:48

Chuck,
I say what i think. I would never say that your doing this to scare people. Im so very certain that this definitely is not the case.
But i do think that there is something more to this that your not telling everyone.
Think very carefully about what your posting and how it could affect other aggrophobics who are brilliant parents.
What goes on in your life is private and personal. If you need help and support from the members on this site well my god what people have volunteerd to do to help you these last few days is beyond belief.
But youve accepted none of it.
I know if id been in your shoes id have been so grateful for that help.
Sympathising with you wont get your boys back.
Action will.

Take care
LYNN

Sue K with 5

19-07-06, 21:00

Social Services services, ( god thats a mouthful) are pretty standard and taxis are supported by the local county council.

I was very careful to check this out today, in fact I have also spent the day looking into this for Willow and have spoken to the school liasons team and this service has been offered now for quite some time to parents who are unable to get there child to school.

Chris this is not an attack on you far from it.

This situation has caused me immense discomfort in reading your nightmare for the last few days and has distressed me that this can happen so easily based on what you said.

Sorry If this is upsetting you Chris but those children were not removed based on your being ill. My sister was very clear on the basis for why children are removed and I suggest you get another solicitor if he is allowing them to get away with this. Neither can Kev accusations be taken into consideration. My mother had Bi polar and my sisters and I were in approx 16 childrens homes but always under a voluntary order, never based on us being in danger but based on her need for help and support and that was back in the 70's. and I am pretty knowledgeable about whats available now.

Through my CPN I have recently been given a shopper to take me shopping and I have the childrens father )

Social workers are governed by strict guidelines and this needs investigation

scknight

nomorepanic

19-07-06, 21:34

Chuckle

We are not judging you - we are all fuming that they can do this to people!! It is ludicrous.

I for one would not stand for it and complain heavily.

They don't have a leg to stand on so I would demand the kids back and see what they do then. They can't stop you getting them back

Nicola

nomorepanic

19-07-06, 22:21

Remind me what county you are in and I will call them tomorrow and get this sorted for you.

Maybe each county has different rules but I doubt it.

They need to be told. They may not discuss your case but I will ask about this in general and get some facts for you.

We can sort it so don't worry ok!

Nicola

lildutt

19-07-06, 23:13

right i dont know you chucklehound but i got a partner who suffer with the same thing has you
we got a child and we have help from hv ad sure start and no socila workers ave ever been involved and said they will tek the lil one of us

so bascially i think you talking out of your back side
and there more to this then you leting on

im sorry but thats how it seems hun

nomorepanic

19-07-06, 23:17

I have been told to keep my nose out by Su

so I will

sod it - I am not doing this.

Nicola

trac67

19-07-06, 23:19

Ok I'm withdrawing my offer of help, as I am being accused of posting about writing to social services to cause trouble, which hurts but i'm getting used to this now. From now on I will just post on the forum and not offer any outside help.

Sorry you think of me this way chuck after all I have done for you in the past, good luck with getting the boys back.

take care

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

chucklehound

19-07-06, 23:21

i accused you????

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

nomorepanic

19-07-06, 23:22

Me too Trac

I am leaving you to it Chuckle cos u dont want our help and I am in tears here cos now SU hates me.

I am giving in - good luck!

Nicola

chucklehound

19-07-06, 23:24

I have NOT accused anyone. I just said that it would not help over and over again.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

scoobygirl2005

19-07-06, 23:25

But how do you know that it wouldn't help if you don't try?

Scooby2005
x x

lildutt

19-07-06, 23:25

well i have hit nail on the head by the sound of it
so we have a lie amoungust us by the sounds of it

chucklehound

19-07-06, 23:27

scooby i asked today and they said it wont help.
lil you calling me a liar?

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

scoobygirl2005

19-07-06, 23:28

Thats just what the social workers said though, doesn't mean to say it won't help. If you really wanted them back then you would just do it no matter what social services say!

Scooby2005
x x

chucklehound

19-07-06, 23:30

it would hold no weight

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

nomorepanic

19-07-06, 23:30

this is going nowhere so will be locked soon

Nicola

lildutt

19-07-06, 23:31

yes in away cus i know how the social workers work
i dont know who or what you trying to acheive from this all but sorry

i think there more to it then that
if it was the case every person whos got argrophbic would of had there child took off them
oh and if it was a partner they would also offer help in every shape and form
so bascially you not pulling the wool over my eyes

chucklehound

19-07-06, 23:33

well you know nothing then. i dont lie.
there are a few that do though here and make out they care when all they are doing is gossiping

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

SpaceCadet

19-07-06, 23:34

Yet another thread which has and will continue to escalate!

What the hell is going on with NMP?

If chuckle doesnt want any help or thinks that she doing all she can to better her current situation with her children,leave it and beg to differ.

Seriously thinking about what I'm getting out of visiting this site at the mo...I dont think I'm the only one on that either.

I hope this post calms down and everyone gets back to reality!,

Lucy x

"Things that go bump in the night,
Should not really give one a fright,
It's the hole in each ear,
That lets in the fear,
That, and the absence of light!" ~Spike Milligan

" The mind is its own place and in itself can make a Heav'n of Hell or a Hell of Heav'n"~ John Milton,Paradise Lost.

lildutt

19-07-06, 23:35

chuckle i think i do hun im sorry but there we go like i said on last post

chucklehound

19-07-06, 23:36

oh thank you spacecadet, someone who can actually see my point of view.

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

lildutt

19-07-06, 23:38

all im saying is that she thinks everyones thick but they arent

chucklehound

19-07-06, 23:39

so who aint thick?
ok you lot know it all so wat the **** am i meant t o be hiding???????????

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

nomorepanic

19-07-06, 23:42

this is going nowhere

Nicola

Sue K with 5

19-07-06, 23:45

Chris

We came on here believing and praying that all this was an oversight and you had been unjustly treated.

We believed your reasons for having the children removed and 0ffered you the best support you have received

We took you in our hearts and gave you our arms to support you, we believed that you had ben unjustly treated and all we wanted to do was help you resolve this based on what you told us.

You have made us suspicious by your constant determination to throw the offers back and I think you know that you have witheld information

I am sorry you feel you are being treated badly but the truth helps chris

Please be honest with us

We wont judge you but dont post for sympathy and support when the only people that need it are your children

scknight