self-deprecation?

[swgrl09]

I am self-deprecating to a fault ... I apologize too much for things, beat myself up over things that I do wrong (not literally/physically don't worry), I tried to give back my engagement ring to my fiance this weekend while drunk because I don't think he deserves somebody as anxious/emotional as me ... and then we talked it over sober and he has moved on and is ok and I am ruminating about how awful of me that was to do ... I wish I could take it back ..

It's just awful... sometimes I truly feel like I hate the way I am and I am scared he will get fed up and go. I am going to discuss with my counselor tonight, but does anybody else do this? It's so hard.

[Magik]

Sorry to hear about that, hon. As the opening shows, yep, I do that too. I hate the way I am sometimes because of this panic thing. I've been married now to a wonderful man for about eight years now, we were "highschool sweethearts" and best friends before we got together. I started having panic problems about 4 years ago.

Sometimes, I let this anxiousness get to me too and do what you did, but he's there to always remind me that he won't let anything like this break us up or get between us. And he reminds me how much we've always loved each other. Always been there for one another.

Having this panic/anxiety doesn't change who you are at all. It just means you need some support and if I can take a guess..you're probably used to not leaning on anyone? I was always the helper, not the one needing to be helped, and that sometimes can make you feel ..."inferior?"

Don't let this ruin how you see yourself. Just because you need help or support to get through anything doesn't change you. It just shows you that you're not alone. And know that you DO deserve someone to be there.

Hope this helps just abit.

[StressedAndDepressed]

Me too. If I'm not sure, I say sorry. Maybe we shouldn't but its very difficult not too, for me at least.

I hope you get some good advice, if you get any tips maybe you can pass them on?

Good luck!

[swgrl09]

Well, my therapist says that I think this way due to how I was raised and my family environment growing up ... I'm not going to go into details about it, but it does make a lot of sense. the way we learn to think about ourselves as children can get "stuck" in the emotional part of our brain because the logical part hasn't developed yet and then affects us as adults. So we are going to work on that next time, this whole hour was devoted to pinpointing my illogical beliefs and where they came from. Odd, how little things shape who we become.