Is anyone else soft like me????

[honeybee3939]

Is anyone else soft like me? My husband keeps telling me i am, i just dont like saying no if someone asks a favour! For the fear of letting people down.
I have decided today that when a person asks me to do a favour, i am going to ask myself "would they do the same for me", and if the answer is no, i am going to say NO!!!.
sometimes i feel like people are just taking advantage of me.

Love

Andrea
xxx

[pips]

Hi Andrea,

I know exaxtly how you feel hun. I'm crap at saying no and have always tried to be a people pleaser. I always feel so guilty and wory about letting people down.

Unfortunately I've learnt it doesn't get you anywhere really just more heartache!

You are so right though we must stand strong and say NO at times. You can't do it all huh!

Take Care,

Love PIP'S X X X X

[manmoor]

Hi Andrea,

My hubby tells me constantly Im too soft. I guess its a woman thing lol.

Mandy

xx

[Coni]

Hi Andrea,

Yup thats me too.....and if I do by some small freak chance say no to someone I then torture myself and agonise over what they must think of me for weeks. Cant win really lol!

Coni X

[polly daydream]

Hi Andrea, I used to be like that, but as I get older, I am learning to say no alot more.

Polly

[ISABELLE]

Hi Honeybee,

Throughout my life I have been a people pleaser and I too found it hard to say no but as I get older and understand more about myself and my issues I realise it is connected to my low self-confidence and low self-esteem.

I used to please people in order to feel self worth but know I realise that I can do things for myself and feel good about it, you see I used to have a lot of self hate but now I understand that being abused in any way, shape or form makes you feel this way.

I do say no more often than I used to and so I have more self-respect than I had.

Continue to say NO sometimes to others and say YES for yourself, Instead of thinking all the time, How can I please others ?, think, How can I please myself and sometimes help others too ?

You can do it.

Love Isabelle xxx

[giddy]

Hi Andrea
I'm just the same and like you Coni, I worry for ever if I do say no or turn down a night out with friends. I'm getting better at saying no at work, but its hard with friends and family, especially as they've supported me so much over the last 6 months, I feel I need to give something back.
love Helen

[Will Loynes]

Hey Andrea,
I have a similar attitude that I dont want to say 'no' to anything. The result is sometimes agreeing to things that I dont want to do. I have had counselling for it because it made me anxious when I felt as if I let people down, I always ended up feeling like i'm guilty of some horrendous crime.
Foe you to be able to make a balanced decision before agreeing to something is a really positive step.
I dont think 'too soft' is a correct way of describing it, it's only trying to be nice to people.
Well done for taking this step, I hope it works for you!!

Cheers

Will

[honeybee3939]

Hi

And thankyou all for your replies,

Well i started the day on a positive, my niece rang me and asked if i would look after her 2 year old little girl, ( i have looked after 2 afternoons this week) i love my niece and her little one to bits, but as she knows i am at home alot i think she takes me for granted. Well she as rang me again today and i have said in a nice way that i cant have her as i am too busy today, i am feeling a little guilty but pleased that i got through the sittuation, my niece was fine about it.

Once again thankyou all

Love

Andrea
xxx