i dont want to feel this way anymore

[R.Barratt]

Hello
Today I had to go to a course in chester about half an hour in a train from where I live. And I really struggled. I felt so anxious about leaving my flat. What to wear. Which I know sounds pathetic but I feel so self conscious all the time.
I don't know how to get rid of these feelings that are controlling my life. I am getting scared about making myself ill with anxiety or an eating disorder as I have had anorexia before.
I already constantly feel sick with anxiety and don't want to go out or talk to anyone. But I feel this way constantly I can never relax. I am watching what I eat excerising on a regular basis but I am still so fat and disgusting.
I hate feeling like this I want to be able to enjoy going for a walk and seeing my friends. But instead I am full of such worry about how I look what people will think or say about my appearance I can't enjoy anything.
Any advice or simply someone who can relate would really be appreciated right now as I am feeling very alone and like a lost cause at the minute xxxxx

[cassy1989]

Hello.
Sorry to hear of how you are feeling.
It does sound like you aren't over your anxiety tbh. Have you spoken to a dr about it?
The fact you think you are fat and disgusting and you have had an eating disorder does suggest that its possible you could have one now but that just means you need to get help from your dr.
xx

[shotokansho]

Hi there.
So sorry about the way you are feeling, it sounds like you are also suffering from low self esteem, I can relate to this a lot as I constantly feel down on myself. I think maybe a chat with your doctor may really help, are you on any medication, maybe a counsellor? I really hope your feeling better soon, lotsa hugs :hugs:

[Idstain]

Hi R.Barratt,

i've read a few of your other posts and i hope you don't mind me saying but i think you are pretty hard on yourself! Might i suggest this book (http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Mindful-Path-Self-Compassion-Destructive/dp/1593859759/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1340822235&sr=8-2).

I know it sounds a bit over the top but this book really is a life changer in my opinion, check out the reviews on the US amazon for it, another good one along the same lines is by Kristin Neff, definitely worth checking out too.

The field of self-compassion is relatively young at about 10 years old but there are already plenty of studies showing it's effectiveness vs depression and anxiety (you can find them on google)

good luck! :)

[R.Barratt]

Thank you for the advice and the books are great to as I love to read. I have been to my gp who's useless and I see a councillor and have for years but it hasn't seem to help at all so far. I just want to live enjoy my life not spend it worrying about things that don't really matter xxx

[yvonne_uk_98]

thinking of you, hope your feeling bit better today. :hugs: