Alcoholism yes or no?

[neowallace]

Hi Guys

Has anyone been to AA and regard themselves as alcoholic? The reason I am asking is I do, but in the last few years I seem to think my problem was more to do with anxiety. If anyone has this experience could they PM me if they would prefer not to share on the forum. I was never a daily drinker but when I did drink mostly at weekends I sometimes could not stop and make myself very ill for days and days. I just wanted to maybe find out if anyone has had similar experience and what they do now.

Kindest Regards
Steven.....

[Bramwell]

Steven, hello there. :)
You may have a drink problem but you're not an alcoholic. In fact, you may not have a drink problem, because you appear to be using alcohol to relieve the stress of anxiety. Anxiety is the problem. I had a battle with beer for 30 years (never touched spirits since I was about 14 - Cherry Brandy. Horrible.)
But I too was using beer to calm my anxiety. I mentioned the fact to my GP in the 1990s that I thought that I was an alcoholic. My GP asked only one question: 'When did you last drink alcohol?', when I had to think about the answer, my GP assured me that I wasn't an alcoholic, and gave me a graphic account about what an alcoholic could be like. Er, ever fancied drinking wood polish? Me neither.
If you think that you genuinely are, go to your local AA meeting for some reassurance. Oh, and ask your GP. They will tell you in seconds whether you are or not.
Good luck. :)

[neowallace]

Hi Bosher

Many thanks for getting back to me it sounds like a common theme alcohol is used to deal with anxiety symptoms. I don't think I fall in the category of alcoholic but I accepted I was as nothing else seemed to fit. I am keeping a open mind just now and will see how things work out. Thanks again for your reply.

Warm Regards
Steven :)

[Anxious_gal]

It's a cycle, withdrawing or craving alcohol causes anxiety.
The drink it's self causes anxiety, it makes your heart beat faster, dehydrates you and stops you from absorbing the b vitamins which causes more anxiety.

[shotokansho]

I don't think you are an alcoholic either. I am similar to you, I drink a lot at weekends, what they call binge drinking, but I don't consider myself an alcoholic or have an alcohol problem because I choose to drink, I don't need it. The reason I choose to drink is because, like you it's a coping mechanism against my mental illness. I did once go to the community alcohol team for help with controlling it and stuff, which helped a little. I was actually prescribed a drug called Campral, you can only get it on prescription. They are not like Antabuse that make you sick if you drink, they are very mild and safe and they don't half work. They work on any alcohol cravings you may have, they don't actually know how they work properly but they can greatly reduce your wanting to have a drink. I tried them for a while and they really worked for me.

[neowallace]

Many thanks Mishel for your post.:)

Many thanks shotokansho for your post as well.:)

[purplesky]

I was a heavy drinker for about 10-12 years from 1996 - 2008. Looking back, my drinking started after my first panic attack and increased when they became more intense and frequent. Up to 3-4 a day at one point, and they were bloody awful and terrifying, hence the drink. I used to carry it round with me in a plastic bottle disguised as fruit juice.

So I was drinking about 12-15 units a day for about half of that time (84-105 a week) and peaked at probably 20 units a day (140 a week). I was definitely alcohol dependant, but unaware of that. I knew it was wrong, but didn't know what to do. I had anxiety/depression and of course the alcohol just played into that. there's me thinking I am controlling my mood by having a drink when anxious until I felt calm, then the next day feeling down or anxious and so the cycle continued.

I had yellow eyes, bad skin, put on weight, was irritable and hard to live with. It was a slow death where I was killing myself slowly but surely, and there seemed no way out, because every time I tried, any slight stress or mood change found me back on the alcohol.

At no time did going to the doctors enter my head, until 2008 when I did for some reason, not sure why. I saw the doc, got a prescription for Citalopram and after about a week I took the plunge with the tablets, took one and never had a drink after, until 2010. Since then I drink, but never more than 1-2 drinks a day literally, with one or two alcohol free days a week. So I still drink, but within sensible limits. Alcohol was a large part of my growing up, and I like the choice to drink. I now no longer NEED to drink for anxiety/panic/depression, but choose to for pleasure.

So expressions like Alcoholic, Alcohol dependant, Drink problem etc are just words, it's reality that bites. All I would say, is that if you THINK you have a drink problem, you probably have. If you drink to relieve a symptom that is a problem in my honest opinion. There are better ways to relieve mental anguish, but we do what we have to do, and hopefully we get help when we really need it. I would not condemn anyone for drinking, because its freely available and it stops us having to address the real problem if we drink.

It really is personal opinion and choice. If you are happy with how you drink then fine, but if you find yourself defending it or justifying it, then you might be drinking too much. Its a bit like smokers.I used to be one. When people ask how many you smoke you always under estimate. Well it seems to be that way anyway..!

Drinking is fine, but when it becomes a bit more than a habit, then maybe some internal questions need to be asked, because there truly are better ways of medicating or relieving a mood disorder. All that said, its personal choice at the end of the day. And there are often complex reasons for drinking, I know, I was there. Some people think I should not have a drink now, but I think sod you, I don't have many pleasures, and as long as thats all it is, then I'm happy. The day I start needing to increase it on a regular basis, and think its ok, or 'it's ok because I'm coping' or 'I'm in control', is the day I lie to myself. :unsure:

But that's me.. :)

[neowallace]

Hi Purpelsky

Many thanks for your reply and a lot of what you said does make sense to me. I think you a right when saying there are other ways to deal with anxiety other than drink. I think my problem was that I enjoyed the feeling so much I did not want to stop. It made me feel free if that makes sense....I appreciate your feedback and thanks again it had made me think in a good way....:D

Warm regards
Steven

[KaoticKutie]

I can be honest in saying I use alcohol.. mainly wine to ease my anxiety. i mostly drink at night before bed as that is when it is its worst. I am married and have children.. and it does effect our marriage. My husband thinks my drinnking is an excuse. I dont get plastered, but 3 glasses of wine on average every night is a lot.. the odd time I will drink less.
I think many people will self treat their anxiety with other street drugs, pills and or alcohol.. admitted or not.
I don't think I am an alcoholic.. nor do I think you are. I think we do what we find works to relieve our symptoms.. good and bad.
I find having anxiety/panic and OCD is such a horrible cycle of ups and downs, pills and no pills, good and bad... It is difficult.
I am really hoping now that I am going back on meds again my drinking can become under control again... hopefully you can too.

[purplesky]

Hi Purpelsky

I think my problem was that I enjoyed the feeling so much I did not want to stop. It made me feel free if that makes sense...

Totally. It's great that you said that, because that is what it is.. feeling free.

That said, it is free in moderation, but its all too easy to fall into that old habit of drinking too much. Of course I'm speaking for myself...!

To anyone using alcohol as a crutch, prop, to relax or to escape, I would say that is fine, but it can bite you if you allow it too much free rein.

I'm trying desperately not to sound sanctimonious and preachy...really.

If you don't like yourself because you drink too much, then get to the docs, they can help. If you feel you are in control, take a step back, think about if someone else was drinking as much as you, how would you feel, and what would you say. Would you think they were drinking too much or not? If not, fine, if yes, well...

All I'm saying is, its easy to drink more than is healthy on a regular basis because the amounts creep up over time and before you realise, you are up to 2 bottles of wine a day. Drinking is socially acceptable and legal, so we convince ourselves its ok.

I'm speaking to anyone really. All with the best intentions. :)

[neowallace]

Hi KaoticKutie

Many thanks for your reply and totally get what you are saying. It is just another way of dealing with anxiety healthy or not. I agree if the medication is working and you can feel at peace with yourself then drinking hopefully won't be an issue. To be honest in the past even when I was at peace with myself I was on prozac for the first time and it was great I went out and drunk so much over 2 days I ended up in hospital on a drip. That put a lot fear into me. I am nearly 6 years sober but still think about the relief and freedom alcohol gave me. I suppose I will just take things one day at a time. I am on some new medication so hopefully it will give me some peace of mind. I hope things are working out okay for you and take care as well...

Steven.....:)

---------- Post added at 18:36 ---------- Previous post was at 18:30 ----------

Hi Purplesky

Many thanks for your reply. I understand what you are saying and I think that I fall into that camp. Too much free rein and I end up taking too much and everything goes really bad. I am nearly 6 years sober not that it matters how long I am sober as if I started drinking now how I used to then I could end up a mess or even worse. I liked your rational response and it was not preachy it was very kind and you are right it could apply to a lot of people. Many thanks again for your feedback...

Steven....:)

---------- Post added at 18:37 ---------- Previous post was at 18:36 ----------

Hi Shashi

Thanks for reply....

Steven :)

[eight days a week]

I absolutely applaud Purplesky for her posts on this thread - absolutely spot on for me, whilst also being very kind and considerate :yesyes:

Mishel also makes a very good point I think.

To say you don't have a 'drinking problem' or aren't an 'alcoholic' because you drink for anxiety is utterly ridiculous in my humble opinion.

Firstly, alcoholism is a progressive disease (one of the only facts that is absolutely understood and agreed by all experts on this condition). No matter what the reason why you started to drink too much is, it all ends up the same way if you continue and don't tackle it - eventually, end-stage alcoholism.

I have always been a 'drinker' because it helps a part of my brain which affects anxiety, GABA. This is the same part of the brain that meds like diazepam and pregabalin work on.

Alcohol also affects many other parts of the brain and almost all organs in your body. Dopamine is one neurotransmitter that is crucial (if I remember rightly - it's a long time since I studied this stuff). That's the 'reward' centre that tells you, after you've had a drink, 'that was good!'

So, problem drinking and alcoholism work on many levels, and I'm shocked (but not surprised) that some people seem to 'excuse' problem drinking if it's for anxiety but not for any other reason (!!)

The end result will be the same - if you rely on drink as a 'crutch' then, over the years, you will need more and more of it, and it will damage you more and more.

I had a nervous breakdown in 2009, and saw a GP who gave me a couple of days (!!) worth of diazepam (6mgs a day). After those couple of days I was back to square one. I put up with it for a month and then went back to see her. 'I can't give you anymore diazepam' she said, and offered me absolutely nothing else. What was I supposed to do? I also had an undiagnosed (then) heart condition which the months of incredible anxiety had sent haywire. My pulse was almost constantly in the danger zone, but still (against NICE guidelines I now know, and if I felt able to and had enough money I would sue that GP) she gave me nothing. (I cannot take SSRIs because they all make me feel suicidal, which is the only time I have felt like that).

My only choice, I felt, was to drink. It calmed me down, and stopped the panic attacks. Unfortunately, with no further medical help whatsoever and no family support, it almost killed me a few months later.

Once my heart problem was diagnosed and I'd been given a suitable prescription, and also (finally!) diazepam for the utter panic - oh, and also gone through three detoxes (incredibly damaging to the body and brain) I was back on track.

I also saw a private doctor who recommended my GP prescribe me a drug that works on that part of the brain (GABA) mainly concerned with anxiety, and is now increasingly used for problem drinking related to anxiety (although there is a long way to go until it permeates through to the multi-billion pound rehab industry - go figure :whistles:).

That medicine is called Baclofen.

Since I started taking it I have to admit I still get carried away with drinking sometimes (I too, of course, like to feel free and less-inhibited, and it has not 'cured' my anxiety, so I still enjoy a drink very much). But it has made a huge difference to my life, where alcohol no longer completely dominates things, and also I have, once again, a choice.

My message then really is:

1) 'Problem drinker' or 'alcoholic' - you can choose the words you prefer. Even the medical profession are not agreed, totally, although it is agreed that if you feel you can't control it then you have a problem. I can also promise from (bitter) experience that if you have the 'problem' aspect, and the right conditions come into your life (I pray they don't) you will end up the same way as I did - days from death (the last time I went into detox the heroin addicts - may of whom are probably dead themselves now - were shocked at my condition).

2) I really think it's best to try to develop other 'coping mechanisms' that are bodily (and mentally) actually helpful, rather than destructive, and extremely counter-productive.

3) Don't dismiss it - it'll come back to bite you.

[neowallace]

Hi eight days a week

Your post is spot on and I tend to agree problem drinker or alcoholic it can result in the same mess. I personally have to be careful with alcohol and it can be like a game of Russian Roulette maybe I will be okay or maybe I will end up in hospital or jail. That is why I have stayed sober. My situation at Christmas was bad and I felt the nip of severe anxiety and depression and needed diazepam at 15mg a day and the intervention of C.P.N's. The diazepam helped and so did the C.P.N's. I got myself out of that black hole and found that taking diazepam and co -codomal helped rid me of some really intrusive bad thoughts. Suddenly I have become quite dependant on the diazapam. The Dr's and shrink suddenly pulled the carpet from below my feet and said I was getting no more. So here I am on Pregabalin at 450mg hoping it will help. I have read a wee bit about the GABA receptor and how drink or diazepam satisfies it so no surprise that is why I too like the feeling of these substances. I hope to remain sober and I am also going to enquire this month when I see my Shrink about Baclofen.

Thanks again for the post....:yesyes:

[Lilac58]

Hi, neowallace,

I'm sorry, I shouldn't be straying from the thread, but am interested in you saying you used cocodamol to help rid you of unwanted thoughts. Do you think this was effective only in conjunction with diazepam or alone?

I ask because I have been taking cocodamol 30/500 for about 18 months for pain relief, well before MH problems started. I hadn't thought of them being effective in that respect. Just wondering how you used them and how you felt they were effective.

Sorry you had the diazepam taken away if it helped.

[neowallace]

Hi Lilac58


If you don't mind I have sent you a private message.

Kindest Regards
Steven...:)

[stay_gold]

I have just admitted to myself that I have a drinking problem after just over a year. I thought I was just having fun but I was really just trying to escape.
I really want to stop but I'm a little pessimistic of my will power because everyone I know drinks for fun, everywhere we go there's alcohol available and I dont wanna isolate myself cos that's the last thing I need.
I sometimes just think about how much I feel for it, I'm don't drink it everyday but when I do, I drink way too much. I waste so much money on it and feel super depressed the next day. It's not really worth it but I'm gonna try.

[neowallace]

Hi stay_gold

I just want to wish you all the best. I understand exactly where you are coming from. I wish I had an easy answer for you to help you stop. The only thing I can suggest is get as much help and support as you can from all areas. G.P's, local groups, friends and family....etc..It can be done I am 6 years sober and have been happy at times as well through that period. Good luck anyway if you want to PM me feel free.....

Steven:)

[purplesky]

Thanks Steven (neowallace) for starting this thread. It's an important subject, hard to talk about, but essential. :)

I wish I had seen something like this about 10 years ago..but I didn't and thats fine, got there in the end..

To anyone thinking I'm female, I'm male..! But I don't mind people thinking otherwise...lol I am in touch with my 'feminine side' so to speak and a sensitive person. :)

Anyone looking for help or needing help, get in touch with a doctor, most will be great if you need help and/or are desperate. They want to help. All the best to everyone.

[neowallace]

Hi Purplesky

Thanks I guess I just started the thread to see if anyone else had similar problems to me. I must admit I do agree with you saying that you wish you had known 10 years ago. I used alcohol to deal with social anxiety from ages 17 to 30 and did not no this either at the time. I thought I was just having fun which I was but take away alcohol then I am not sure if I would have went out as much. I must admit I thought you might have been female with the name just goes to show how quick we label and judge...:blush:..I can assure you as well, we must be like minded as I am in touch with my 'feminine side' so to speak and a sensitive person..lol :D ...Thanks again for your posts they have helped me...

Steven......:yesyes: