kivyt73
28-06-12, 23:57
Hi Everyone,
I have posted many times here about my obsession with checking my blood pressure. I don't have high bp, I only had a few high readings at the doc's office a couple of years ago and that sent me in to this obsession. I have been checking my bp sometimes weekly, sometimes daily and even got to a good run of every three weeks but I constantly think about it and even consult my bp schedule in my mind before I plan activities. At first I thought it was medically necessary for me to check often so I wouldn't neglect my health even though my doctor told me I didn't need to check and if I must to only check once a month. Now I am really realizing that this is just an anxiety symptom and that I am causing more harm to my mental health by continuing this obsessive behavior. I spent hours yesterday checking and checking to get a "good" number which to me is anything under 115/75 and I got many 120s/80s before finally settling for 115/78. I just hate to have anything above that magic number. At first I was afraid that if I didn't desensitise myself to checking that it would be super high always at the docs but I have gotten good readings now many times at the office so I can't use that excuse anymore. The bottom line is that I am overdoing, I am obsessing and it is not healthy. I am telling myself that it is acceptable to be check yearly or maybe a little more frequently at the doc's office and that if it is high at all, he will tell me and ask to monitor at home but that anything other than that is not healthy for me. I figure that I can allow myself to check once or twice right around my doc appt. just so I can show him the numbers in case they are high in the office but that is good enough.
So saying all of this now I am wondering how I am going to do it. I get so anxious when I want to check and I think I have even associated anxiety feelings so much with bp that when I feel anxious it is the first thing I think of.
Has anyone has any experience or have any advice on controlling the impulse to check?
Thanks,
Ivy
I have posted many times here about my obsession with checking my blood pressure. I don't have high bp, I only had a few high readings at the doc's office a couple of years ago and that sent me in to this obsession. I have been checking my bp sometimes weekly, sometimes daily and even got to a good run of every three weeks but I constantly think about it and even consult my bp schedule in my mind before I plan activities. At first I thought it was medically necessary for me to check often so I wouldn't neglect my health even though my doctor told me I didn't need to check and if I must to only check once a month. Now I am really realizing that this is just an anxiety symptom and that I am causing more harm to my mental health by continuing this obsessive behavior. I spent hours yesterday checking and checking to get a "good" number which to me is anything under 115/75 and I got many 120s/80s before finally settling for 115/78. I just hate to have anything above that magic number. At first I was afraid that if I didn't desensitise myself to checking that it would be super high always at the docs but I have gotten good readings now many times at the office so I can't use that excuse anymore. The bottom line is that I am overdoing, I am obsessing and it is not healthy. I am telling myself that it is acceptable to be check yearly or maybe a little more frequently at the doc's office and that if it is high at all, he will tell me and ask to monitor at home but that anything other than that is not healthy for me. I figure that I can allow myself to check once or twice right around my doc appt. just so I can show him the numbers in case they are high in the office but that is good enough.
So saying all of this now I am wondering how I am going to do it. I get so anxious when I want to check and I think I have even associated anxiety feelings so much with bp that when I feel anxious it is the first thing I think of.
Has anyone has any experience or have any advice on controlling the impulse to check?
Thanks,
Ivy