need to help my son

[dream]

Hi
i really could do with some advice , my son is 16 and has just left school , he has been doctors a few time about his anxiety , he never goes out ,never has friends rd , he has been thro a fair bit over the past years , but he is missing out on so much he missed his prom ,he is very open with me and talks about how he is feeling he says he just dont want to go out he feels embrassed , how can i help him xx

[joy]

Cant your Gp refer him to the Mental health team for teenagers I'm sure there is something like that available. Not neccessary medication maybe some talking therapy
I expect someone will come along with some advice

Joy

[BobbyDog]

I went through a similar situation with my son and he is now a "normal", happy teenager.

Take your son to the doctor and he/she will refer him for CBT, it could change his life for the better.

They will teach him how channel his anxiety in a more positive way.

[dream]

Thank you both so much for taing the time to reply , he is under the gp but my son decided he didnt want to talk to anyone , but now ive read ur message bobbydog im going to take him back down and take the next step , so glad ur son is doing ok now de x

[eternally optimistic]

Hi

I have experienced the same with my son who is now 18.

He is settled, I think, in life and making his own way.

It is an iffy time and you dont want your children missing out.

He is his whole life ahead of him and it will all be fine.

Take care and dont worry too much.

[dream]

Thanks jay ann so glad ur son is doing ok , did he get outside help or did he manage it just with ur help de xx

[eternally optimistic]

Well, during his closing few years at school, he was quite unhappy.
Think it was partly due to school pressures and his ever changing world.

There wasnt too much wrong with his life.

He did visit GP who prescriped propanol but, he took them when he thought he needed them.

Other than that, we sort of got through as a family.

This all happened some 2/3 years ago and he is much more comfortable with himself now he is working etc etc.

[dream]

He is talking to me more about how he feels he is a sensitve boy and always has been , he tells me he isnt bothered about the past but a lot of not nice things happened a few years ago his father left then told him he was dieing of cancer which was all untrue , that has to effect a young mind , but im hoping the more i can get him to open up the better xx

[eternally optimistic]

He might be "affected" by these things, it is highly possible.

Patience is the key with your situation, this is sometimes
easier said than done because you dont want to see your kids
being reclusive and alone.

I think, at times, as parents, we were more bothered by
these things than our son was.

Try not get too fraustrated by hurrying him to open up and do
things, it WILL come in time.

Best wishes for you both.

Remember, although this should be a carefree time for him, it is also
one of those weird times when you have to be semi adult and be responsible. That can be a daunting time for a young man.

[Meewah]

Hi

Get him a computer. Get him involved with social networking and games like minecraft and world of warcraft all these are social games and can give him a link to the outside world. Does he not have any cousins or close family members of a similar age who could take him out??

Mee

[dan1234]

One option is CAMHS.

Otherwise dependent on your financial situation - see a psychiatrist and pscychologist privately.

I have had anxiety since 15 - and CBT till 17, my greatest regret is not seeing a psychiatrist earlier - he has prescribed me great medication.

[Smiffy3594]

I totally agree with Dan1234 - I've had anxiety since I was in my mid twenties & am now 40 & have just started tackling this - and wish I'd done something way sooner

Your son can overcome this with the right guidance & support I am on antibiotics but that's not for everyone & starting cbt next week & I actually feel positive at the moment

I wish your son the best he can do it & beat this - keep us posted on his progress

:hugs:

[R.Barratt]

Hello dream :)
Well firstly can I just so well done for being so helpful and understanding with your son. I am 17 and have had depression for years and my parents never supported me and I feel if they had it would have helped a lot.
So you're already doing so much by simply being there to listen to him. I would suggest talking to him and asking open ended questioned asking what he wants to change? And what are your options? Then he can start really thinking about it. Because right now he may just be in a rut and can't think.
There is also group therapy so he can talk to people his own age about what's getting him down and he can relate to these people so he doesn't feel like the only person going through this.
Hope I have helped xxx

[Meewah]

Ok Well; here goes. I have a different view. All the above could work but I found that getting diagnosed and getting help compounded what was very mild anxiety for me when I was young. I feel that getting help in actual fact made me feel more different than my friends and making me spend time sharing with other anxious people made me feel very different. I have a 14 yr old now and he suffers from anxiety but not to the point that it limits his life. If this is just a spell of depression you can help lift his spirits by having those long philosophical type talks with him explaining that it is normal to have low times and that it wont last. I am sure you can help him without institutionalising him. The doctors will feed him pills because that what doctors do. Your life skills shared should be 100 times more effective. The problem is most parents aren't that supportive and so kids feel alone and isolated.

Which ever route you take a wish you luck.

Mee

[dream]

Im touched by all your replys thank you so much ,meewah he goes on the lappy and has been playing these games , at 1st i thought should i let him just sit in his room all day on these games but he does enjoy them and if its taking his mind off things that has to be a good thing, he finds it hard mixing with kids his own age but becuse of his past i think it would do him good to talk about it so do think i need to follow that path but i dont want to lable him if you now what i mean , i know that when i had my 1st panic attack i didnt know what it was , as soon as i found out they came rolling in , R barrett ur post brought a tear to my eye im so sorry you didnt have as much support as you needed and took ur time to help others on here , im lost for words thank u and thank everyone xxx