alfie156
29-06-12, 11:18
Hi all,
I am 44, been married for 18 years and am suffering fairly severe anxiety whenever I am with my wife, especially at night. I have negative thoughts about her and whenever I am away for a few nights, the anxiety leaves me. Has anyone else felt like this - have I fallen out of love? should we split?
Some background.
We do not have children despite trying for many many years through IVF etc etc. We have a surrogate option on hand but I cannot bring myself to press the button while in this state of mind.
Our lives have been complicated over the last few years with me living in 7 different 'homes' over the last 4 years. I have had 5 different jobs in this time (4 with the same company). They have all been progressive and I am now a VP for a successful company based in UK. My wife works and we are very financially secure.
I worked in Russia for the last 2 years while my wife worked in London. My anxiety started when I came back for my monthly trips maybe even before I took on that role. I left the company I had worked for 14 years to come back to the UK and try to sort things out but now my anxiety has kicked into high gear and to be honest it is the first time, I really realised I suffered from anxiety.
I have been staying with my parents this week and after 1 day, my anxiety left me as I was once again focused on work and busy out with friends and colleaugues (this is exactly what happened whenever I headed back to Russia). It is now Friday and the thought of going home has set my anxiety off again. The recurring questions are should I stay with
my wife, is it even possible for me to go through with surrogacy, what
will happen if I split with her, will I ever have children, am I
getting too old and should I move on and forget about children, would
my anxiety leave me if we wet through with surrogacy, how would
someone else fit in with my hectic work life, all doubts and fears
which I am not addressing but the biggest one is that I know my
anxiety would disapear in an instant if I was to make the decision and
left my wife......I think I have driven myself to believe that it is the
only option but cannot bring myself to take action.
I know now that anxiety has alwas been part of my issues - this in
itself has been a discovery as I never recognised what was wrong
before. Now I need to understand what my true feelings are as I am now
concerned that I make the wrong decisions based on that rather than
what I truley need or want.
A lot more to my story but would appreciate some advise and encouragement.
A
I am 44, been married for 18 years and am suffering fairly severe anxiety whenever I am with my wife, especially at night. I have negative thoughts about her and whenever I am away for a few nights, the anxiety leaves me. Has anyone else felt like this - have I fallen out of love? should we split?
Some background.
We do not have children despite trying for many many years through IVF etc etc. We have a surrogate option on hand but I cannot bring myself to press the button while in this state of mind.
Our lives have been complicated over the last few years with me living in 7 different 'homes' over the last 4 years. I have had 5 different jobs in this time (4 with the same company). They have all been progressive and I am now a VP for a successful company based in UK. My wife works and we are very financially secure.
I worked in Russia for the last 2 years while my wife worked in London. My anxiety started when I came back for my monthly trips maybe even before I took on that role. I left the company I had worked for 14 years to come back to the UK and try to sort things out but now my anxiety has kicked into high gear and to be honest it is the first time, I really realised I suffered from anxiety.
I have been staying with my parents this week and after 1 day, my anxiety left me as I was once again focused on work and busy out with friends and colleaugues (this is exactly what happened whenever I headed back to Russia). It is now Friday and the thought of going home has set my anxiety off again. The recurring questions are should I stay with
my wife, is it even possible for me to go through with surrogacy, what
will happen if I split with her, will I ever have children, am I
getting too old and should I move on and forget about children, would
my anxiety leave me if we wet through with surrogacy, how would
someone else fit in with my hectic work life, all doubts and fears
which I am not addressing but the biggest one is that I know my
anxiety would disapear in an instant if I was to make the decision and
left my wife......I think I have driven myself to believe that it is the
only option but cannot bring myself to take action.
I know now that anxiety has alwas been part of my issues - this in
itself has been a discovery as I never recognised what was wrong
before. Now I need to understand what my true feelings are as I am now
concerned that I make the wrong decisions based on that rather than
what I truley need or want.
A lot more to my story but would appreciate some advise and encouragement.
A