Separation Anxiety - tips, help advice?

[mcray1981]

Hi guys,

Its been a while and a lot has happened both good and bad since I last posted but a situation has came up and I'm not sure how i'll deal with it (and ironically getting anxious about getting anxious!). Before I explain I need to say that I don't want to feel this way and am incredibly frustrated and angry at myself because of it.

Basically my wife has been invited to a hen night and out of that I am being hit with wave upon wave of irrational fears and anxiety. I want her to go, I even want her to enjoy herself, I know she loves me, I know that it will be ok but despite all these rational thoughts the fear and anxiety is still there. On the night she said about it I couldn't sleep through worry.

I don't want to feel this fear and worry about this - I don't like the labels I give myself because of it (possessive, jealous), because that's not the sort of person I want to be.

I feel like crap at having to put in place a contingency plan or coping mechanism for this but I want her to go out, enjoy herself and not be at home climbing up the walls waiting for her return.

I have told my wife I want her to go and have asked a couple of trusted friends to give me some company but am still scared.

Anyone on her ever have these feelings and have any tips on how to sort it or learn to cope with it?

Please - I don't want any judgement - I am being hard enough on myself about this. I also know that being like this can push a person away so I really do want to fix it.

Thanks

[KaoticKutie]

Maybe find something you like to do, that she doesn't (that is not harmful of course), and convince yourself into thinking it like a positive thing. For example.. when my hubby goes to his friends.. I do get anxious because of certain reasons.. but after my kids are in bed I will play video games on my phone that he bugs me about. This way I look forward to playing my games in peace and without teasing from him. Maybe you like poker? a certain sport or show that your wife doesn't and have friends over maybe. Try to look at the situation differently.

[mcray1981]

Thanks it's nice to know people have similar feelings and get through it. Plan for me at moment is to have a DVD night with 2 friends. They both know the score about how I feel. I also have to remember its just feelings but line between imagination and reality gets blurred so much sometimes because of them. It's 3 weeks away do I need to try and look forward to spending time with friends rather than stressing about something that will be fine. Feelings and emotions really suck at times though!

[KaoticKutie]

Yes try to look at the positive. I know its hard, but try. Negative thoughts don't get you anywhere.. especially for those who have anxiety!!