Pinkcasi
04-07-12, 11:48
Hey everyone,
So i've not been on this site for a while, i've been feeling pretty good, got my meds sorted out and have been just chilling, came back to work and everyone has been lovely came back fazed so shorter days for a while, this week is my first wek back up to full time, and it's exhausting i can tell ya.
So meanwhile i got myself pregnant, Woot! it's great and we're very happy, we were not trying not preventing and i thought it would take months and months but it only took 2, im about 5 weeks now so it's all very new and scary.
Im freaking out in fact, i feel sick all the time, i havent been sick but i feel nauseous, my back hurts and im getting terrible cramps of an evening, i feel like im huge even though i've not put any weight on (i weighed this morning).
I went to the Dr the other day and discussed my meds and even though the risk is very small we decided to reduce my dose with a view to coming off altogether, which is great, but now im worried that im going to freak out again, it was only a few months ago that i had a very precise plan of how i was going to kill myself, i had written letters andeverything and now im pregnant and coming off meds am i stupid!?! my partner is concerned as he doesn't want me having a meltdown again and it wouldn't be good for bump but the health risks if i stay on have to be higher dont they.
So i dont know what the point of this post is really, it's not a question as such just i dont know it's hard as no one knows as we're keeping it quiet until 12 weeks.
I really have no clue what im doing, im a total mess and im having a baby that's insane!!! what was i thinking
So i've not been on this site for a while, i've been feeling pretty good, got my meds sorted out and have been just chilling, came back to work and everyone has been lovely came back fazed so shorter days for a while, this week is my first wek back up to full time, and it's exhausting i can tell ya.
So meanwhile i got myself pregnant, Woot! it's great and we're very happy, we were not trying not preventing and i thought it would take months and months but it only took 2, im about 5 weeks now so it's all very new and scary.
Im freaking out in fact, i feel sick all the time, i havent been sick but i feel nauseous, my back hurts and im getting terrible cramps of an evening, i feel like im huge even though i've not put any weight on (i weighed this morning).
I went to the Dr the other day and discussed my meds and even though the risk is very small we decided to reduce my dose with a view to coming off altogether, which is great, but now im worried that im going to freak out again, it was only a few months ago that i had a very precise plan of how i was going to kill myself, i had written letters andeverything and now im pregnant and coming off meds am i stupid!?! my partner is concerned as he doesn't want me having a meltdown again and it wouldn't be good for bump but the health risks if i stay on have to be higher dont they.
So i dont know what the point of this post is really, it's not a question as such just i dont know it's hard as no one knows as we're keeping it quiet until 12 weeks.
I really have no clue what im doing, im a total mess and im having a baby that's insane!!! what was i thinking