I really can't take ANYMORE!!!

[BlueEyes28]

Please please help I don't know what to do! Im so scared and im alone with my 2 young children my says i have to wait for my upped meds to kick in another 2 weeks! But I really can't cope im afraid of what il do. My friends wont help my partner thinks im just being stupid and leaves me to get on with it. Im now alone with a 17 month old and a 4 year old! What do I do? I'm desperate :weep:

---------- Post added at 10:52 ---------- Previous post was at 10:51 ----------

My doc says i have to wait for meds to kick in*

[rockydog]

Hi there what is actually troubling you the most ? are you generally anxious or worrying about somethig in particular. Sorry to hear you feel unsupported at home x

[BlueEyes28]

Im terrified of getting chronic brochitis after getting over acute bronchitis a couple of weeks ago, im afraid it will keep coming back again and again and turn in to a chronic illness which causes breathing dificulties, iv since stopped smoking and now use an electronic cig but iv woke up with a sore throat and im afraid it will turn in to a cough, my mum says it just because i have changed e-cigs a lot lately and its given me the sore throat but i cant calm down, im scared il never have a normal life again and im afraid they will section me and take my kids, god help me!

[rockydog]

You are not having a good time are you really sorry to hear that. You are not mad just very stressed and feeling low and no one will take your kids for that. I am a foster carer so know how the system works :)
The health worry is horrible but its quite unlikely that at a young age you will develop a serious breathing disorder. My foster son gave up smoking and his cough got worse and he had a sore throat ad swollen glands for a month. Apparently the cough is worse because your body is getting rid of the stuff loosening up in your lungs, try and accept that it is just an ordinary infection that many people get (easier said than done i know ) Think about how many elderly weak people have chest problems and are treated and recover ? x

[casswhite]

Hello sweet have yourself a min (if you can :-)) make yourself a hot brew take some deep breaths!!. Its hard to be rational when you have millons of thoughts running through your mind, its hard when you dont have support but we are on our own with these thoughts and we have to be strong for ourselfs. We can make ourselfs feel more downgraded if where pineing for support that makes us more upset and disheartened.
I hope you find some positives to fuel you bad times :-) take care

[BlueEyes28]

Thank you both for your kind words it really is very difficult having the anxiety and being depressed at the same time, my kids are my world and it's just so unfair that they have to suffer as well, I try my hardest to not show my bad emotions in front of them but they follow me wherever I go! I sort of feel like I don't want them to be around while i'm like this so they don't have to see it, but then I can't be without them! I don't think I've ever been this anxious before so I don't know how to cope, I feel like I just want to run away but I can't and it wouldn't make any difference anyway. It's like I'm just sitting around waiting for something bad to happen, I can't go out unless I get taxi's which is far too expensive, and even when I do go it's only to my mum's but I'm afraid it's too much for her to see me like this all the time, she doesn't know what to do! God this is hell :0(

[rockydog]

You are a bit trapped in a vicious circle because the more time you spend alone the more time you have to think about it. Dont worry about your children seeing you they will be more anxious about not having you there. I was at my worse with anxiety and depression when my third child was 6 months old until she was about 2 and i worried about how it would affect her etc as she was clingy and didnt want to be with anyone else not even her dad most of the time. Now she is 18 and at cambridge university... didnt hold her back much did it lol
It is a shame you dont have anyone to support you locally but if there is anyway you could try and meet new people (bit of an old chliche i know) even if its talking to new people on face book or old friends then you might meet someone who will turn out to be a help.
I know its really hard but you are managing at this minute as you are here now talking and your kids are fine, you havent run from your children so you are doing better than some. It is very unlikely something bad will happen to you at your age and you will improve in time, just think of this is something that will go away and its just a bad phase and you will gradually become yourself again.