Advice needed.

[Obsessive]

My fella has been private messaging this lass and now speaks to her on MSN, i know i shouldnt be worried about this but its what they talk about that gets to me, she was telling him what knickers she had bought ect. I pulled him up about this (i shouldnt have been snooping but it got the best of me) he told me that it was just a carry on, he could see why i would have taken it the wrong way but he has never and would never cheat. Now i should have left it at that,but i have issuses with paranoia and trust (i am seeking councelling). I have spied a few times and there not been much there, and does look like general chat, i spoke to him about it last night and he said that he doesnt speak to her that much (which im not sure is the truth or not as she seems to pm him alot) but that doesnt mean he is replying all the time. He deleted his posts the other day but he deleted all of them not just hers. He says im worrying over nothing and that she is just a mate, she is 29 with a 4 year old son, we are both 25 this year.

What do you make of it, should i jst trust him? We been together three years now, and we are going somewhere on sat where she is going to be

"Why does life turn you upside down and inside out then back round again"

[manmoor]

Hi Obsessive,

Aw poor you. I talk to a lot of men on msn and I am married with 2 kids. Im sure if my hubby saw some of the chat he wouldnt be impressed with me. But to me its just harmless fun. Please try to trust your fella as Im sure its just harmless fun.

Take Care

Mandy

xx

[Obsessive]

Yeah thats what he said, i just get ideas in my head and obsess about them over and over and by the time i finish all sorts if happening.

Thanks for that. xx

"Why does life turn you upside down and inside out then back round again"

[Ma Larkin]

I don't trust anyone. I've been married twice and both hubby's cheated on me with my friends. However, I do PM and get PM's back, even on this site, to me its just humourous banter and puts a smile on your face when you need cheering up. I'm sure there is nothing to worry about, please don't beat yourself up about it.

Les, xx

[Obsessive]

Thanks, i have spend the past three weeks beating myself up about it, im slowly getting better but its starting to get right on my goat lol. The way i am i mean. xx

"Why does life turn you upside down and inside out then back round again"

[Peru83]

Hi Obsessive,

I think that if your fella hasn't given you reason to not trust him before then you should give him the benefit of the doubt. I know it's hard cause your thoughts can run away with you. I'm sure it is innocent.


Take Carexx

Claire

onwards and upwards

[Obsessive]

Thanks Jammiebasket, i know in my heart that it is but my brain tells me other wise!

"Why does life turn you upside down and inside out then back round again"

[Obsessive]

Im still sitting here worrying today about it.

He told me he doesnt speak to her that often, but i went and checked last night and he had deleted the ones from her but there was one in the out box to her from him, she must have asked him to come on MSN and he said he would if he could but it was kicking him out. (im guessing it was msn anyways) Why am i doing this, he has never done or lied to me about anything major so why would he start now?

"Why does life turn you upside down and inside out then back round again"

[scoobygirl2005]

Hi.

I expect its nothing. Try not to worry hun. You have been together quite a while and he obviously loves you so don't worry mate.

Scooby2005
x x

[Obsessive]

Everyone says that he obvously loves me but i dont see it lol, probably a typical woman!!!! I know that I should relax and that i cant stop him speaking to other woman no matter how much i would like that.

"Why does life turn you upside down and inside out then back round again"

[Two heads]

Please try not to worry hun!
It sounds to me like abit of harmless fun.I happly married but i still like a bit of banter from time to time.I always have its just the way i am.
He will get bored sooner all later and that will be that,no more Pms!
If you moan at him it will only make him feel traped and you will become distant.Show him you really love him and you will be fine.
Good luckxxx

[Obsessive]

Thanks, he knows i love him, i show and tell him often enough, and he isnt hiding me away or anything.

"Why does life turn you upside down and inside out then back round again"

[Two heads]

There you go hun nothing at all to worry about!Its just that insercure side to you,we all have it.
Keep your chin up and just tell your self to stop worrying and you will be fine!
Takecarexx

[Obsessive]

Its not just the insecurity though, its the wanting to check his private messages to see if he been talking to her extra, i have had it blocked from work but not from the house and im itching to have a look but at the same time i dont want to, but i get a compulsion and i dont know how to distract myself from it.

"Why does life turn you upside down and inside out then back round again"

[polly daydream]

Obsessive, the way I see it is if he didn't want to be with you, he would have left you by now, so he obviously does love you, you must try to show a bit more trust sweet because you will only end up pushing him away. Enjoy Saturday night and show everybody how lucky you are to have him.

Take care,

Polly x

[Paddington]

hi hun.you know i am the same as you ,and it is soooo hard to trust when you feel you are being betrayed.I think people like these flirtations in msn.I am noti nto it myself as i can see it can ruin relationships.Yes it may be harmless fun,but if it makes one person so unhappy why cant the other person knock it on the head??I think i am a fuddy duddy maybe,but these are not life long friends but people that have been picked up ina chat room,and from what i have read it is not always a happy ending,curiosity killing cats and all that!!!In your case,i think it is a bit of fun,BUT i can fully understand where you are coming from,and i would not feel comfortable with it either.Watch her body language on saturday,men can be a bit thick somtime when it comes to women coming on to them,they dont see it,but us girlies know exactly what is going on!!!If you dont like what you see,tell him!I WOULD!Love mary-rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore