Anxiety about going to work next Monday?

[.Poppy.]

I have posted before regarding the anxiety I feel with my job. I have also posted before about quitting my job and my anxieties about doing so -- I have continued at the job but have finally sent an email saying that I am leaving.

Ultimately, I have bounced back and forth on the quitting issue...but I have a few other things going on in my life and want to focus on me. I'm also starting my junior year of college and with my class load and the workload I'm anticipating, working just isn't a feasible option. I *do* have a savings account, not ample but enough, so I don't have to work right now -- though the money was nice.

Anyway, I emailed my boss. I work in a restaurant and it can be quite fast-paced, so I figured an email would be nice to get out what I really needed to say without being pressed for time like I would be in person. I emailed him last night and am constantly checking for a response - nothing yet. I imagine he'll respond in a day or so, but I am afraid that he won't before I come into work and he'll either not know what I'm talking about, or will read it during work and feel blindsighted.

I know that I can be easily replaced in this job, but I come from a small town so I'm not used to being so anonymous...and I hate the feeling that they will be upset/disappointed and/or that I'm letting them down. I also hate the idea that since I'm shy, speaking to my bosses in person will be really awkward.

Anyway -- I never mean for these to be so long, but I needed to vent. My family doesn't understand why I'm so upset, and I can't often put my finger on it either. I just need some words of encouragement. I've also started having short panic attacks where I feel I can't quite breathe -- which isn't normal for me, even with my anxieties. I've had them before, but long ago, which to me just shows how stressed about this I really am.

Thank you :)

[dabrucru]

Hi, personally i would focus on college, than when you feel better you can get a job.

[Danny_dingle]

Hi Poppy,

Work can be an absolute beast when you're feeling like that, I know.

I have been suffering with similar problems myself and have therefore read your other posts. I think you are very brave to have quit if you don't feel like it's helping your health, and I would say that you should not worry yourself about letting them down because ultimately you have to look after yourself first; it sounds to me like you are a very caring person and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but what about your own feelings?

Put yourself first matey, be proud that you have followed your heart and look forward to the future, to completing your college course and getting a job you love with people who will become your friends.

The future's bright... the future's Poppy-coloured! ;)

Danny x

[saintanselm]

Good post and I identify and have taken one of the option, I've returned to University doing a PhD. One day I would like to be a lecturer and retire to the land of books.

I worked in a very high pressurized industry and I could handle it in my late 20's and early 30's, in fact I was very good at it, but I came to the realization that I'm not the man I used to be. I used to love the buzz of walking into a high pressurized environment, then I began to dread it. Looking back I wish I had quit sooner that I did. I had two to three years of living hell but I needed the income. So good on you on getting out when you did. People move on and providing you were polite in your e-mail, which I'm sure you were, then if your boss has a problem then its his problem, not yours.

[.Poppy.]

Thank you so much for your answers. My boss did speak to me today -- after a few panic attacks of my own attempting to bring it up to him -- and he told me that I was a fantastic employee and that he didn't want to lose me as one; in short, he said I could take the semester off and have a job when/if I need hours over the semester or next semester.

This seems like a pretty solid plan - and hopefully it's something I can work with. I suppose if I cannot cope, I can be honest and quit, but I have another option should I decide to go back, so I guess I am happy with this. Plus, if I need to work again I won't have to go through the extra stresses of job interviews/applications :)

[dabrucru]

sometime anxiety makes us see things more bigger than they are

good luck :hugs: