At my all time low

[Yoda86]

I was raped when I was 16 and did not receive the help I should of had, until I tried to commit suicide and then I had to see a councilor, which I thought I was fine and stopped going and buried everything to the back of my mind. I then met my partner when I was 18 who helped me so much and said they would never hurt me like everyone else has done, I was mentally abused by my nan growing up too.

I had bouts of depression but it would go away or I could put a mask over it and pretend I was fine. 8 years later and after my partner brought a house for us 12 weeks ago, she has kicked me out and left me homeless, I am couch surfing as this happened last Monday. She won't even let me get my things and has changed the locks.

She has hurt me in the worst possible way and the feelings that I have hidden away for years have now come tumbling out, the voices in my head keep telling me to jump of a bridge when I walk passed one when I needed to go back to the house to get some things before the locks where changed.

I lost my job as I am in no state to work and they kept telling me to focus on the future. I get panicky when I leave the house, but I get through it. I'm going to the doctor on monday well to get registered. I can't sleep as I'm having bad nightmares, I have no idea about housing or money can I go ESA?

[BobbyDog]

I am really sorry about the situation that you are in, I can understand why you are suffering from anxiety.

You must discuss all of this with your GP tomorrow, he should be able to give you an educated opinion about where you go from here.

If things get really bad, do call the Samaritans.

[R.Barratt]

Hello :)
I am so sorry to hear what a horrible time you're having. I am sorry you've been hurt so much. It really isn't fair.
You should be entitles to esa as you are unable to workk due to your depression and panick etc.
It would be a horrible tradgedy if you killed yourself as you are a beautiful individual. It is not your fault that you feel this way as you have been through so much. You need help.
Maybe a councillor but please always feel welcome to message me anytime because I care about you you are not alone xxx

[theharvestmouse]

I think you may be able to seek help from the DSS or maybe Citizens advice.