Do you ever feel like this?.....

[BlueEyes28]

Hiya I'm sorry to plague you all with my fears. I was just wondering, do you ever feel like your crawling up the walls with anxiety to the point that you have suicidal thoughts? The past couple of days it has been absolute hell I can't exagerate that enough! I have never felt so scared, hopeless, depressed ect... I don't think i'd actually end it all, had to go to hospital yesterday as I really couldn't cope at all, my mum was in bits seeing me like this which just makes me worse. They called in an emergency phsyciatrist to help. Im already on 150mg of Effexor she told me to take 225mg she also gave me 2mg of diazepam up to 3 times daily as needed and Remaron which I'm terried to take because of the side effects heard so many bad things about it but im so desperate for some releif! The diazepam seems to calm me quite well but the mornings are terrible it doesn't seem to help with that! The local crisis team were called in to visit me daily I.think as i'd said I was having suicidal thoughts, I still have them when my anxiety is at it's highest but I don't think I'd do it, my family are too important! Has anyone else ever felt this desperate? And did you manage to get through it? Thanks guys x

[potato11]

Poor you blueeyes!!!!

In days gone by I have had severe panic and worry that my life would never ever be the same, I felt scarier than death!! very hard to explain isnt it. But I am on the road to full recovery now!

can I ask if u have had any CBT at all?

the fear cycle is one you can easily get lost in, so the more u panic the stronger the symptoms get (ironically your body is trying to 'protect' you, a more apt name is the 'protection cycle')

Please read the nothingworks.weebly.com website, I feel it will be a big benefit to you.

Also, if you haven't tried cbt, or even if u have, have a look at CBT4PANIC (link also in my signature)
you need to learn to understand the panic cycle so that you can gradually overcome it, create positive memories of coping and get rid of the ''learned helplessness'' that accumulates with panic disorder.

I found cbt4panic a massive help, and also the author Robin is a cbt therapist himself, who had agoraphobia and panic disorder for several years. He gives you email support if you need it which is great for individual circumstances.

Your nervous system takes time to recover, so never expect immediate results!! just practice until you get better and better :)

I promise you there is hope!

[BobbyDog]

There was a point in my life last year, when I wished I was not here anymore, I felt that I just could not cope with life's struggles. I did not share my feelings with anyone, but you have done the right thing in opening up about how you feel, it may sound lame, but a trouble shared is a trouble halved and you do appear to be getting all the correct support.
I came out of that bad place and am now much more contented with life in general, hopefully in a few months time you will feel better.

[BlueEyes28]

Thank you both for your kind replies and Potato11 for the links I will def have a good read. I am in a very bad place at the moment but hopefully it will pass! My meds have been looked at and will be again in a couple of days, I am going to start CBT very soon, the mental health team are calling me on thr 16th and my doc says that if I explain just how desperate I am at the mo they can see me the next day! I've been on the same meds for 9 yrs so that def has to be looked at! Thanks again x