Death anxiety

[Lonely Lu]

Hi,

Do any of you (and I'm sure I'm not alone) get feelings of extreme stress out of the blue regarding death? I wake up beween around 2 and 4 in the morning maybe once every two or three months in an absolute sweating, hysterical panic. I don't remember dreaming about death, but I wake up in a blind panic with the one thought 'I've got to die one day' in my head. It always follows the same pattern - after waking and the thought of dying, I feel I can't breath and throw the covers back. I reach out for my partner and cling on to him in a panic and cry. Sometimes he wakes up (he's a very heavy sleeper!) and comforts me, other times I slowly calm myself down. During the day, the thought of dying really doesn't bother me that much (I'm a strong believer in there being something else after this life), but in the dark of early morning the fears are awful.

Perhaps it's the way I'll reach death that's scaring me rather than the state of death itself?

LL x

[brenda]

HI Lu
Yes I get that. SOmetimes it happens when I have had a good day or am feeling great.
I just get the thought that someday I wont be here and get in a panic like you

Dont know what we can do about it but you are not the only one :-)

Hugs
Pam x

[joolee]

yeah ive been like you before i am ok now i went to cbt because of panic attacks that was brought on about scared of dying it all started when i had my children always panicing about how they will cope with out me but now i can safley say that i dont think like that anymore life is for living enjoy it dont keep thinking the worst it makes you feel worse as i have experienced xx

[chellebelle]

Often when I panic it is because I am sure I am about to die, and at the moment I often panic - worse luck! I usually have this during the day or just before bed, it sometimes takes a few days to recover as it's so traumatising! I have a phobia about the headaches I suffer causing me to drop dead, but it's funny, I was in a car crash once and while it was happening wasn't terribly afraid. I am definitely afraid of the manner I think I'm going to die moreso than being dead!

"This too, shall pass"

[alicia123]

Hi Lu,

It is all related to anxiety, I think. IMO, most anxiety is caused by an over production of adrenaline giving a 'fight or flight' response. If you get this burst of adrenaline during sleep then you will wake with this dreadful feeling that something dreadful is about to happen and you have to get away from it.

When I used to have panic attacks I was convinced that this time I would die because that is the way it felt. I didn't die. Nobody does die from anxiety, but I am sure it feels awful for you, and probably because you are not fully awake it is even worse.

As for death, well, personally I would prefer it to come later rather than sooner, but there is no point in worrying about something over which I have no control, unlike my anxiety which I do.[^] It is now an ex anxiety!

alicia

[ksmith]

Hi Lu

I get this sometimes but I'm not sure it is panic. I think I may suffer from sleep apnea which means that sometimes when you are asleep you suddenly experience cessation of breath which is caused by a reduction in the blood oxygen (mind you I might think this because I have health anxiety!!!). But, I have often found myself stood by the side of the bed having lept out of it for no apparent reason, then cling onto partner for dear life!!!

Kay

[Juliamidlands]

Hello honey I totally understand what you are going through, the thought of death hits me most at night too. It mostly happens when I am on my own, as I seem to get some comfort when I'm staying over night with my boyfriend.
When these thoughts hit me, what I try to do is think about what I've got to look forward to in my life, and the immediate fear usually subsides.
But I know exactly what you mean- its just the thought that we have got to die someday

'Never be afraid to try- remember, amateurs buit the Ark...professionals built the Titanic'

[Kathy]

Hi there

I have this really badly. My husband had a health problem back in March and that was the start of it - I had a nervous breakdown and certain parts of it have got better but I am still suffering really badly from fear of ageing, fear of time passing too quickly and me not being around someday. Ive even started to become scared of old photos and memories as I start calculating - well that was x years ago and in x years I will be z years old and .... and..

I also started examining my reflection really closely for signs of getting older and if I feel tired I think its because Im getting older etc etc. It seems to be getting just worse and worse. Ive been seeing a counsellor - seen her five times, Im not sure how much it is helping me but it is a help.

I used to be such a positive person, a good mother and able to juggle a million and one things. Now Im a broken pathetic worrying jelly - I ought to be celebrating life and my family and husband's good health, instead Im just a pathetic mess. I have to keep going for my kids though.

I cant understand these people who say - well there is nothing I can do about it so why worry, because I dont have any control over it at all. I cant decide not to worry about it, it pops into my head all day long from the moment I wake up.

I just wanted to tell you that you arent alone.

[Mystie]

I have feared the same, especially after Mom passed at a young age. But I try very hard not to think about it anymore, easier said than done as I get older. So...you are not alone.

Mystie

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little monster that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

[tnt808]

I can relate to this topic. I don't even speak of this much for fear of jinxing anything or anyone. I know how ridiculous that sounds, but it's true at least to me.

I have a terrible fear of death. I can say it started after having my first baby. It has gotten worse over the years...just as I have in general gotten worse. I am terrified of death...and I can't even pin down whether it's the manner in which it will come or just the fact that I won't be here any longer...and in typing this it is freaking me out!!

I get so obsessed w/it that I dont want my husband to drive alone w/the children..I HAVE to be there just in case something happens...as if me just being in the car is a safety net..I honestly know how absurd this sounds. See so I just don't focus on the me dying part...it's associated w/ my loved ones period.

I am also due to give birth in a few weeks (sooner the way things have been going) and I can't even breathe correctly when I think of it...and i've done it before...Its just an awful anxiety that I am having to push through right now and I am not convinced that I will be okay...and that makes me sad and it scares the crap outta me!

Anyways, I am sorry for rambling but I have never really spoken of this before. I can unfortunately empathize w/all of the thoughts and feelings....and I wish to hell I didnt :(

Good luck,

Tina

[magenta_mandy]

i too can relate to this topic, i saw my younger brother killed in a rta when i was 14, my thoughts of dying didnt come until my 30's.
i sometimes wake up in the mornings and think oh my god this could be my last day on this earth, who will look after my kids, who will feed my dog etc
i feel fully aware of my self a horrible feeling.
the thing is why cant we just enjoy the life we have and not worry about when we are going, its just not fair!!!

mandy d

[magenta_mandy]

also i forgot to say is that i will not go in my husbands car only to town as the fear of him crashing and me dying comes to me!!! if we go anywhere it has to be on a train but just lately going on a train is getting bad!! i have started to feel shut in and get panicky and feelings of i have to get off!! i do stick it out but feel exhausted by the times we get there!!
i do put all this down to seeing my dear brother dying in front of all the school kids and everyone watching him.
take care.

mandy d

[nomorepanic]

Here are some other posts as well..
Fear Of death
Fear of death (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=321)
obsession with death, why? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4764)
Fear of death (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4916)
Hello and Fear of dying (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5635)
Scared to Sleep (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6590)


Nicola

[toetsie]

hi there

I have a constant fear of dying, it started last year randomly when I was watching a tv show (cartoons) and out of the blue I started having a panic attack and thought I was going to have a heart attack and die. it carried on for a few months were I would run and scream because I was so afraid I was going to have a heart attack and die, my left arm became so numb and I had bad chest pains, I would go into a fit where I would shake and pass out and sweat. it got so bad that I couldn't even finish school. I am 18 and I couldn't finish my last year of school because of this, I tried to write an exam and I remember I couldn't even pick up my pen, I was fainting and had no energy,i was rushed to hospital and was diagnosed with acute anxiety. soon after that I lost my ex boyfriend, he was 17 and died on the rugby field from a heart attack, 2 days after that I was involved in a gang shooting where a gang dragged me out of my car and made me watch them kill everyone around me and then left me with the sight of it, a week after that I lost a great friend because of a drunk driver. I also lost a family friend who died on the operating room and a friend who died after a fight of cancer. all of this happened to me in 2weeks. I became "crazy" to some people, I could walk, I was shaking to much and screaming because I was so afraid of myself dying, if I get the flu I become so scared because my mind says "what happens if its not the flu?" I cant even cough without thinking im dying. I was sent to a phytriatrical (how ever u spell it) hospital for 3weeks and im on medication for life, my family has left me because they think im just looking for attention, none of my friends supported me and also left me, I have only the support of my boyfriend who I now had to move in with, he is the only person who understands because he suffers anxiety aswell. but I still suffer from this fear of death. so you are not alone, I know exactly how you feel, all we can do is hope and believe that this fear will pass by. I hope that every one of you will find some comfort in this fear and learn from it, like I am slowly learning, I am only 18 and I have found some good in this fear. :bighug1: