Kipepeo Girl
09-07-12, 23:12
I have agoraphobia (although my GP diagnosed me years ago with generalised anxiety, and I recently had CBT for social phobia, I know it's actually agoraphobia).
Last July I had a medical assessment to switch from IB to ESA. I had to have it at home and I scored only six points and was deemed well enough to work. So I appealed and finally this May I had a tribunal, which my dad had to attend in my place. Luckily, with the help from a guy from the CAB, we won.
Last month I had to attend an appointment at the Job Centre for the Work Programme, which I went to with my dad. I was there about half an hour and panicked and cried the whole time, which as well as being difficult was just so humiliating. The woman I saw placed me on a scheme which involves going to more interviews and appointments. As nice as she was she could see how much of a state I was in and must have known I wouldn't have been able to do it. I didn't say I couldn't because I can't do confrontation, so I just nodded like an idiot in the hope I could get out of there quickly.
So now this other company have been calling about me going to see them for these interviews. They made me an appointment and I agreed with it because, as they told me several times, it's mandatory. They sent a letter confirming it, which said the appointment would be 2-3 hours long. There is no way on earth I could go to an appointment that lasts so long. In the end I couldn't go because I was having such severe panic attacks on the day and ended up having a migraine. My dad called them to say I couldn't attend and explained the situation but the next day they called again, asking me to explain why I didn't attend, to make another appointment and to once again remind me it's mandatory.
My dad called them to say I wouldn't be able to attend because of my situation but they didn't seem to accept this and still said it was mandatory. He asked if there was any way of doing it over the phone because that would be a lot easier (although still pretty difficult, I could probably do that). But they said they can't because of the paperwork.
So now I'm stuck with this appointment next week which I know I won't be able to go to. My dad, as brilliant as he has been and I appreciate all his help, is now just saying to me 'Just psyche yourself up to do it'. If it were that simple I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.
On top of that, I was recently sent a new ESA questionnaire as it's been a month since the last one, which of course will mean another medical assessment.
A few months ago I had been receiving CBT and had managed to work my way up to walking to town, shopping and walking home again, but now I'm struggling to go to the local shop which is a two-minute walk, because I'm just constantly anxious and on the verge of a panic attack.
I'm so anxious every day and am having daily panic attacks and crying. I know these people are just doing their jobs but they clearly have no idea what this is like. They keep saying that these things are mandatory and if I don't do them my benefit may be affected, and I've got to the point where I don't care. I would rather be penniless than have to keep going through this.
Last July I had a medical assessment to switch from IB to ESA. I had to have it at home and I scored only six points and was deemed well enough to work. So I appealed and finally this May I had a tribunal, which my dad had to attend in my place. Luckily, with the help from a guy from the CAB, we won.
Last month I had to attend an appointment at the Job Centre for the Work Programme, which I went to with my dad. I was there about half an hour and panicked and cried the whole time, which as well as being difficult was just so humiliating. The woman I saw placed me on a scheme which involves going to more interviews and appointments. As nice as she was she could see how much of a state I was in and must have known I wouldn't have been able to do it. I didn't say I couldn't because I can't do confrontation, so I just nodded like an idiot in the hope I could get out of there quickly.
So now this other company have been calling about me going to see them for these interviews. They made me an appointment and I agreed with it because, as they told me several times, it's mandatory. They sent a letter confirming it, which said the appointment would be 2-3 hours long. There is no way on earth I could go to an appointment that lasts so long. In the end I couldn't go because I was having such severe panic attacks on the day and ended up having a migraine. My dad called them to say I couldn't attend and explained the situation but the next day they called again, asking me to explain why I didn't attend, to make another appointment and to once again remind me it's mandatory.
My dad called them to say I wouldn't be able to attend because of my situation but they didn't seem to accept this and still said it was mandatory. He asked if there was any way of doing it over the phone because that would be a lot easier (although still pretty difficult, I could probably do that). But they said they can't because of the paperwork.
So now I'm stuck with this appointment next week which I know I won't be able to go to. My dad, as brilliant as he has been and I appreciate all his help, is now just saying to me 'Just psyche yourself up to do it'. If it were that simple I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.
On top of that, I was recently sent a new ESA questionnaire as it's been a month since the last one, which of course will mean another medical assessment.
A few months ago I had been receiving CBT and had managed to work my way up to walking to town, shopping and walking home again, but now I'm struggling to go to the local shop which is a two-minute walk, because I'm just constantly anxious and on the verge of a panic attack.
I'm so anxious every day and am having daily panic attacks and crying. I know these people are just doing their jobs but they clearly have no idea what this is like. They keep saying that these things are mandatory and if I don't do them my benefit may be affected, and I've got to the point where I don't care. I would rather be penniless than have to keep going through this.