antique
10-07-12, 13:56
Any constructive criticism/advice/opinions welcomed.
I suffered with serious depression and anxiety about 15 years ago - had GAD for years - thankfully that's all behind me but I still have a few issues, mainly travelling abroad (can't get the courage to do it).
Anyway, I have been worrying about the state of my relationship recently and what possible future I might have, so a few symptoms have returned i.e bad dreams, churning stomach, can't sleep.
My bf and I have been together for 10 years but have separate houses and live together part time. We are both in our late 40's and have a joint business.
I feel I have been living in limbo for years because he will not move in with me (doesn't like the area) and I do not like his house because he lives right on a busy main road, the house is small and requires lots of renovation work (still has the original 40 yr old carpets/curtains from the previous occupant, dry rot etc). He doesn't give a damn about the state of the house because he never intended making it his permanent home and he will not buy a house with me in this area.
I am Welsh, he is English and although he has lived half his life in Wales he hates it here. Our relationship has been strained because of his racism - always slagging off Welsh people for their faults, and the country because it rains a lot, there is no money or opportunity here (he says).
I am not blind to these criticisms and there are things I dislike about Wales too but I am sick of the constant whingeing.
He is desperate to return to England when his last child goes to college in 2 years and says he will leave with or without me. It is all he talks about and he is counting down the days. I do not get a choice in the move, it has to be the South East where he originally came from. He has no plans, no idea of where he will live or what he will do as long as he is not here. He is struggling financially and believes there is more money in the South.
His constant moaning is spoiling my life and he is angry that I won't help him financially to make the move by selling my house. My problem is that I don't really want to move now because I have friends here and my only family - no siblings or kids - are parents in their 80's and not in brilliant health. I like the area where I live as it is near a national park, not far from the coast, has lovely countryside and good road links.
Admitedly, the weather is better in Kent/Sussex and they are closer to the Channel for ease of travelling. But property is expensive and I would feel guilty leaving my parents to fend for themselves. That doesn't concern him because he can't stand them and they don't like him.
He has no hobbies or interests, doesn't get involved with anything and is continually referring to getting older. I know he is also depressed but he blames me for his state of mind.
I am getting depressed with this whole scenario and feel like running away myself! Maybe he is right and I have wasted my life in this 'backwater'. I dread the thought of being left alone as he loves me and I love him. Would I regret not moving?
I suffered with serious depression and anxiety about 15 years ago - had GAD for years - thankfully that's all behind me but I still have a few issues, mainly travelling abroad (can't get the courage to do it).
Anyway, I have been worrying about the state of my relationship recently and what possible future I might have, so a few symptoms have returned i.e bad dreams, churning stomach, can't sleep.
My bf and I have been together for 10 years but have separate houses and live together part time. We are both in our late 40's and have a joint business.
I feel I have been living in limbo for years because he will not move in with me (doesn't like the area) and I do not like his house because he lives right on a busy main road, the house is small and requires lots of renovation work (still has the original 40 yr old carpets/curtains from the previous occupant, dry rot etc). He doesn't give a damn about the state of the house because he never intended making it his permanent home and he will not buy a house with me in this area.
I am Welsh, he is English and although he has lived half his life in Wales he hates it here. Our relationship has been strained because of his racism - always slagging off Welsh people for their faults, and the country because it rains a lot, there is no money or opportunity here (he says).
I am not blind to these criticisms and there are things I dislike about Wales too but I am sick of the constant whingeing.
He is desperate to return to England when his last child goes to college in 2 years and says he will leave with or without me. It is all he talks about and he is counting down the days. I do not get a choice in the move, it has to be the South East where he originally came from. He has no plans, no idea of where he will live or what he will do as long as he is not here. He is struggling financially and believes there is more money in the South.
His constant moaning is spoiling my life and he is angry that I won't help him financially to make the move by selling my house. My problem is that I don't really want to move now because I have friends here and my only family - no siblings or kids - are parents in their 80's and not in brilliant health. I like the area where I live as it is near a national park, not far from the coast, has lovely countryside and good road links.
Admitedly, the weather is better in Kent/Sussex and they are closer to the Channel for ease of travelling. But property is expensive and I would feel guilty leaving my parents to fend for themselves. That doesn't concern him because he can't stand them and they don't like him.
He has no hobbies or interests, doesn't get involved with anything and is continually referring to getting older. I know he is also depressed but he blames me for his state of mind.
I am getting depressed with this whole scenario and feel like running away myself! Maybe he is right and I have wasted my life in this 'backwater'. I dread the thought of being left alone as he loves me and I love him. Would I regret not moving?