over-sensitive

[stirred]

How do I overcome being over-sensitive? Between persistent anxiety, depression, and PTSD-induced panic attacks, I can no longer cope with my life problems. Maybe this post is too broad or obvious or personal. But I feel compounded with real life problems that become life-or-death and manifest in the above mentioned ways. I feel estranged from my family, even though I am currently living with them. I know I am being realistic when I say that they care for me more when I am physically absent from their lives. Family violence and problems are a huge reason why I am here today, yet I still harbor some hope that I will matter to my parents in a meaningful way, and feel like I fail daily to make an impact on their lives. Today was a particularly bad family day for me, although they are sleeping soundly right now, assuredly thinking everything about our interactions was fine. But I can only think of how they consistently show their lack of pride in or care for me. At what point can I return that feeling, and estrange them from myself? I feel too sensitive and weak to do so. I keep hoping they will care someday, and be proud of me. Thinking about these things has brought me panic, anxiety, depression feelings, and horrible IBS symptoms tonight.

How will I ever move on? Get on an airplane, travel? Eat without fear? Drive on a long road trip alone? Deal with a family fight, or with real failure in my life? I am a perfectionist and fairly successful with everything I do. It's not enough. Nothing ever makes my pain go away. I want everything to 'roll off my back' and to be able to move on from very very minor bad feelings. But they all just snowball into huge symptoms anyway.

[BobbyDog]

You are obviously in a very difficult situation, but to estrange yourself from your family may only bring more problems for yourself. The reason I say this is because I have some experience in that field.
My Mum left me when I was 3 years old and returned when I was 12, she moved in with myself and my Grandparents. I would say that I took on selective mutism, I would only communicate with her through my Grandparents. Keeping all that hurt inside, I would not show any emotion, I believe that those things greatly contributed to my onset of anxiety. It is only in the last few years that I have burried my demons and become friends with my Mum again.

So in my opinion, if you are to leave the family home, do not go with resentment and a need for retrebution, there has to be a small amout of forgivness, or those feelings that you have inside will only add to your anxiety.

I hope you are able to move forwards with your life.

[stirred]

Thanks for the reply and support, BobbyDog. I hope that I can find forgiveness and that it will also provide me some relief from anxiety and panic, it is just hard for me especially to forgive.

[BobbyDog]

Thanks for the reply and support, BobbyDog. I hope that I can find forgiveness and that it will also provide me some relief from anxiety and panic, it is just hard for me especially to forgive.

I understand where you are coming from, but if you don't forgive you will not be able to move forwards, it will eat you up, beleive me, I have been there.

Good luck and if you want to chat send me a PM