Getting Fed Up Now!

[meche]

Title says it all :mad:. My symptoms have been up, down and all over the place these past few weeks and I'm fed up with it. I go from feeling healthy, positive and symptom free one day to feeling like I'm about to die the next. Yesterday for example was a good day - symptom free and I felt great..... however!!! During the night I woke up with a major headache, eye pain and a feeling of numbness down my right side (second time this week this has happened). I was scared to get out of bed because I didn't think I would be able to stand up. I could though and once I'd walked around and took some paracetamol I felt better and went back to bed. I've woke up today though and feel like crap! I have a mild, throbbing headache and my right side feels like it doesn't belong to me - no numbness or weakness - just a really odd feeling! I feel exhausted and could just cry. I know tomorrow might be better and that's good but I can't live my life like this. On days like this my mind works overtime and thinks anxiety can't possibly make me feel like this. Sorry guys - just needed to rant... when does it all end eh :unsure: xx

[sammie23]

I feel for u :-( Iv been the same this week :-( Up then down grrr I h8 it. From wot ur explaining about feel like ur right side isnt urs it sounds like depersonalisation. Read up on it x

[meche]

Thanks Sammie - my emotions are all over the place. On good days I don't think about tumours, strokes (my current fears :doh:) but today I'm like 'ok - this really doesn't feel right'! I just read a response post of yours and I've spent the last few minutes touching my nose with my finger as fast as I can.... which I can do! I'm at work and have also been running up/down the stairs, squatting and hopping on one leg. It's ridiculous but my thinking is that if I can do those things I don't have a tumour and I haven't had a stroke! It's complete madness! My main concern is that my symptoms are ALWAYs on my right side and my headache is always in the same spot - again my right side. Grrrrrrrr! xx

[sammie23]

Its true though hun. If we had tumours or nasty things wrong with us then we wouldn't have good co coordination. Iv actually ended coming to bed cos I feel like crap :-( my heads killing AGAIN :'( X

[swgrl09]

Oh man, tell me about it. I'm on a 3 or 4 week kick of emotional roller coasters. It's exhausting and makes me feel badly for my fiance because I am all over the place! It will pass in time. Something interesting my therapist told me was that I am probably being triggered by things and don't even realize it, which is making me feel so out of control. Pay close attention to what happens when you feel a mood change and you may notice a triggering event.

[meche]

I have no idea what's triggering it! I went into meltdown a few months ago by too much googling (haven't done it since) and I was a complete nervous wreck. By doing that I know about illnesses/diseases I've no right knowing about - that knowledge sticks with you. I know I've put my mind, body through an unbelievable amount of stress and I have read it takes a long time for an anxious mind/body to return to normal. Maybe that's it! I'm nowhere near as bad as I was but I still get days when I think 'WTF' :huh:! I am going to start paying more attention to how I feel and why I'm feeling it though - thanks for that.
Sammie; I sympathise honey. I went for a long walk during my lunch and my headache has eased a little - still there though. I have so much work to do this afternoon and I don't think my little brain cell can handle it. Roll on 5pm! Hope you feel better. xx