panicdiva
17-07-06, 23:05
Hello everyone, well I came back yesterday from Florida & guess what? I was ok!!! I got on that flight although I was feeling really sick with fear & worry & even cried at take off - but, after that I was actually ok - at some points I was even enjoying it & looking forward to going on holiday. It was so weird.
While on holiday I did have some anxiety like on the I4 which was always busy & got caught in some traffic jams, but I breathed through it & got through it without jumping out of the car screaming!!! (not that I've ever done this but often think I'm going to).
I survived the crowds at the parks & I even went on some roller coasters & other rides that I usually don't go on. I have to admit though the main reason for this is that my youngest was now able to get on most things so the choice I was faced with was stand outside while the 3 of them went on or just join them. There were some moments that I did think I am going to lose it while waiting in the lines because sometimes I did feel trapped. This is because alot of the rides lines are indoors & you would have to wade through everyone to get back out again. However, I stood my ground & went on the rides. I even went on the rocking roller coaster which goes upside down. I was laughing & crying all at the same time - I came off with my legs like jelly but the feeling of truimph that I actually did was so great that I soon forgot about how nervous I had been before it.
There was one ride that I really did have a panic attack (although inwardly only) & that was on Soaring in Epcot. We were ushered into a huge room with all this seats that we had to be strapped into. We were warned that if we were afraid of heights that we should not go on. I am, but I thought no I am going to do this. The lights went out & the seats were lifted quite high above the ground. Then the screen infront of us came on & basically you felt like you were flying over mountains, over water, over everything. I really started to panic then, I thought I am going to start screaming - I have to get off now. But I just kept saying to myself, if you are really scared you can close your eyes. But then that voice said: you are trapped high up - what if it broke down? However, I kept my eyes opened & tried to enjoy it. When it was over I was shaking, but I did do it so I was glad of that.
I felt quite anxious while on the monorail going into the Magic Kingdom, but I just did it anyway, & we went into that park 3x. So, even though I was feeling anxious I just did it.
I even went on an elevator while on holiday which is so unlike me. The first was at the hotel in Manchester the night before we flew. We were on the 3rd floor & even though I wanted to take the stairs I thought no, I am going to do this. It did help that it was a glass elevator though. Then half way through the holiday we went to a character breakfast at a Disney Hotel. We had to go on the elevator 2 floors to get to the restaurant. My stomach clenched but I thought no, you are going on it!!! So I did it!!!
However, one night we had been out for a meal with friends & they asked us back to their hotel for a drink in the bar. They wanted us to see their room which was on the 14th floor & it was a glass elevator to get to it. I wan not brave enough to do that. I just thought no, I just can't manage that today. Also, I still did not manage to do the Hulk at Islands. I just could not bring myself to do it. I was a little dissapointed with myself, but then I thought, a couple of failures on the whole holiday was not bad considering all the things that I did do. I decided not to dwell on those 2 things & remember how well I had done with the other things.
The flight home was excellant. Why? Because the anxiety did not hit me until the morning of the flight. Usually I cannot eat for days before, but even the night before I went out for a meal & was able to eat no problem. However, even that anxiety was not too bad & I did not even cry at take off. Amazingly I was quite relaxed!!!!!
While on holiday I did have some anxiety like on the I4 which was always busy & got caught in some traffic jams, but I breathed through it & got through it without jumping out of the car screaming!!! (not that I've ever done this but often think I'm going to).
I survived the crowds at the parks & I even went on some roller coasters & other rides that I usually don't go on. I have to admit though the main reason for this is that my youngest was now able to get on most things so the choice I was faced with was stand outside while the 3 of them went on or just join them. There were some moments that I did think I am going to lose it while waiting in the lines because sometimes I did feel trapped. This is because alot of the rides lines are indoors & you would have to wade through everyone to get back out again. However, I stood my ground & went on the rides. I even went on the rocking roller coaster which goes upside down. I was laughing & crying all at the same time - I came off with my legs like jelly but the feeling of truimph that I actually did was so great that I soon forgot about how nervous I had been before it.
There was one ride that I really did have a panic attack (although inwardly only) & that was on Soaring in Epcot. We were ushered into a huge room with all this seats that we had to be strapped into. We were warned that if we were afraid of heights that we should not go on. I am, but I thought no I am going to do this. The lights went out & the seats were lifted quite high above the ground. Then the screen infront of us came on & basically you felt like you were flying over mountains, over water, over everything. I really started to panic then, I thought I am going to start screaming - I have to get off now. But I just kept saying to myself, if you are really scared you can close your eyes. But then that voice said: you are trapped high up - what if it broke down? However, I kept my eyes opened & tried to enjoy it. When it was over I was shaking, but I did do it so I was glad of that.
I felt quite anxious while on the monorail going into the Magic Kingdom, but I just did it anyway, & we went into that park 3x. So, even though I was feeling anxious I just did it.
I even went on an elevator while on holiday which is so unlike me. The first was at the hotel in Manchester the night before we flew. We were on the 3rd floor & even though I wanted to take the stairs I thought no, I am going to do this. It did help that it was a glass elevator though. Then half way through the holiday we went to a character breakfast at a Disney Hotel. We had to go on the elevator 2 floors to get to the restaurant. My stomach clenched but I thought no, you are going on it!!! So I did it!!!
However, one night we had been out for a meal with friends & they asked us back to their hotel for a drink in the bar. They wanted us to see their room which was on the 14th floor & it was a glass elevator to get to it. I wan not brave enough to do that. I just thought no, I just can't manage that today. Also, I still did not manage to do the Hulk at Islands. I just could not bring myself to do it. I was a little dissapointed with myself, but then I thought, a couple of failures on the whole holiday was not bad considering all the things that I did do. I decided not to dwell on those 2 things & remember how well I had done with the other things.
The flight home was excellant. Why? Because the anxiety did not hit me until the morning of the flight. Usually I cannot eat for days before, but even the night before I went out for a meal & was able to eat no problem. However, even that anxiety was not too bad & I did not even cry at take off. Amazingly I was quite relaxed!!!!!