Hello from Lovemyfriends (I really do)

[Lovemyfriends]

Hello all,

I'm brand spanking new to all of this so be gentle! Work causing panic attacks, been diagnosed with depression and am struggling. My manager is far from sympathetic, things have deteriorated so much that I can't even email him without having a massive panic attack. I'm in pieces. I'm single, and although my friends are utterly wonderful those that are not associated with work aren't local and I feel like I'm having to do this by myself, it's terrifying. And at the minute I feel like even my closest friends are a million miles away, but it's me that's moved. I'm looking in on my life from the outside and watching it all unravel. I feel like I'm going to lose my job and my home and everything I've worked hard for will be gone.

Part of me is also genuinely worried that my boss is somehow going to find this thread and know who it is. The other part of me is puzzled that I'm seriously so worried about that so maybe there's a tiny rational part of me left in here somewhere.

Hope lots of you are having a good day today and I look forward to taking a deep breath and making new accquaintances.

[nomorepanic]

Hi Lovemyfriends

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[raggie66]

Hi there. Sorry to hear you are struggling at present. I'm new to this too. I've found reading other peoples experiences so reassuring.

You haven't mentioned if you are on meds, if you are some of what you are feeling will be side effects. It is a natural symptom to imagine the worst, and although it's difficult try to think of something more positive.

I'm sure your boss is very unlikely to link you to this site, but even if he did it's no bad thing for him to read how bad he makes you feel! Are you off work? Can you stay with family or friends for a little while until you feel a bit stronger?

I totally understand how you are feeling. Keep strong though. You WILL get better. Speak to your GP too that's what they're there for. There is a lot of support and advice on this site, which I take a lot of comfort from, knowing there is always someone to talk to who knows what you are going through.

Take care:)

R

[Lovemyfriends]

Thanks raggie, it can be so lonely. I've been signed off work, after trying to go back part time. I've been taking mirtazapine for about 6 weeks now so fingers crossed and am bak at my GPs on Weds - she's been brilliant but I do feel like I'm taking up time somebody else needs. Counselling this afternoon - I'm paying to go private as I don't want to wait till Xmas for NHS and I want to be back at work asap (ha ha) - I think I'll get my £'s worth today!

Thanks again
x

[raggie66]

Hi, sounds like you're doing all the right things, meds and counselling. I'm at 8 weeks on a different anti/d and starting to feel that there is light at the end of the tunnel, although I do still go up and down. I've found keeping busy helps, but do have to give myself a kick up the bottom to get motivated!!
All the best.

[Jon1979]

Hi Lovemyfriends & :welcome:

I know where you are coming from on the "boss" front, my immediate managers are shocking, although we have a senior manager who is very good so I just go over their heads lol, that really doesnt bother me at the moment. Im off work and on meds and on the waiting list for CBT.

Take Care
Jon :)

[sos]

Hi Lovemyfriends

I too know exactly where you are coming from on the "boss" from, i am currently off sick with depression, extreme anxiety and work related stress!!! and all my manager is concerned about it how much its costing to get cover for me whilst i'm off sick when i had a meeting with her recently it was more like a disaplinary than a "welfare meeting". Sure you will find counselling helps it did me and i found myself telling her things i'd never told anybody before so stick with it and good luck xx

And Jon i have also had CBT its really good and makes you understand a lot about yourself good luck to you to x

Rgards to all x :hugs:

[Jon1979]

Hi Lovemyfriends

I too know exactly where you are coming from on the "boss" from, i am currently off sick with depression, extreme anxiety and work related stress!!! and all my manager is concerned about it how much its costing to get cover for me whilst i'm off sick when i had a meeting with her recently it was more like a disaplinary than a "welfare meeting". Sure you will find counselling helps it did me and i found myself telling her things i'd never told anybody before so stick with it and good luck xx

And Jon i have also had CBT its really good and makes you understand a lot about yourself good luck to you to x

Rgards to all x :hugs:

Thanks sos

I am really looking forward to it because I do think it will be good for me.

The work thing is a nightmare though, I have an appointment at Occupational Health on Wednesday, was supposed to go last Tuesday but I had to change it because I felt so bad. Then it will be the HR meetings blah blah...Im just concentrating on getting better, work can wait for me for a change! :D

[sos]

Is the Occy Health were you work ?? I was referred to them but not at my place of work they were really helpful and advised my employers i am not fit to work but i still keep getting mithered, like you i agree i'm more important than work and they will have to wait (and pay for temps) after all it is mostly their fault i am off in the 1st place.


:)

[Jon1979]

Yeah it is where I work. They are good actually, I did my back in a few years ago and they were really good then. But to be honest, its all just a process that has to be done, its just going through the motions. I was really ill at work though and had some of my worst panic attacks. They knew I wasnt well and hadnt been for months.....are they sympathetic, nah....just gave me more work! lol.

[sos]

That's the same with me i was diagnosed with depression last April and was advised by my GP to let somebody at work know so i informed the senior doctor at the surgery where i work (yes i work as a doctors receptionist) she said ok i will make sure that we dont put any pressure on you! ha that's a joke one of my colleagues went off long term sick and they didnt get anyone in to cover for her so most of the work was put on me which i duly did couldnt even take annual leave i put up with it for 4 months and then things went from bad to worse and i just snapped, employers dont give a damn about emlpoyees they just want their pound of flesh.

Sorry for the rant lol

:mad: