View Full Version : Really losing my mind now - HA or not?
I have posted here before so I am sorry if this sounds repetitive but it was quite a while ago and I don't know what I am going to do.
I am now at a stage where I feel like I am losing my mind - to cut a long story shorter, started experiencing strange feelings (dizziness and tiredness) towards back end of 2010, whilst I was working. Through 2011 it progressed into dizziness, tiredness and constant headaches. Walking to work became a big struggle - constantly thought I'd feint or collapse, as I felt so hot and dizzy. Toward the end of 2011 I was made redundant from my job (not related to my health) and have since not worked due to the fact that I am feeling so unwell.
But I could really do with some advice or help, I don't know where to go from here. The doctors have always just said it's anxiety, stress, and maybe depression. But when I started feeling this way I had nothing to be stressed or anxious about as far as I can remember. But ever since it just got worse and worse. I constantly think that I am dying and have always hoped it will just get better but here I am today, feeling no better at all. I have been given Fluoxetine, 20mg, which doubled 3 or 4 months later to 40 on the advice of my doctor. About 3 or 4 months has since passed on 40mg and still no further forward, and still getting nowhere with the GP. What do I have to do to get them to take me seriously?
It feels much worse than what I would consider anxiety or stress to make me feel, but the doctors did put me on a stress control course (which I wasn't convinced about from the start due to the fact I was only 'stressed' because of how ill I feel) but I went along for the 6 week course and did discover through various presentations that anxiety can cause physical symptoms, such as those I have. But I still can't get my head around this because I don't know why I had any reason to feel this way and also the medication is doing nothing. Since completing the course I have been having 1-to-1 counselling appointments, which are very helpful and I can see where they are coming from, but I just can't seem to feel any better. For example, one of the parts of the sessions looks at keeping active and planning your days out, and we agreed that I will go for a short walk each day around 1-2PM. But every single time, I just feel so worn out, so tired, so hot, so sweaty, just as I was when I was walking to and from work each day a year before. I get back to the house feeling absolutely drained.
I have got another doctors appointment this afternoon just so I can get my monthly sick note to send to the job centre for my benefits. This had been a straightforward process until the last doctor I saw ticked "phased return to work" on my last sicknote, which was pretty stupid seeing as I don't have a job to return to, but he did this in the hope that it would motivate me to find work. I do not find this very supportive :(
This has all totally demotivated me and I have lost confidence, friends, and I feel I am losing the support of some of those closest to me, but no one seems to understand how ill I am feeling and how I just have no 'get up and go' - simply because I just don't have the energy.
I am just looking for a way out from all this and I can't find one. Death scares the hell out of me, so I would never do anything stupid, but at the same time, this is no life.
nervousmummytobe
17-07-12, 15:25
Hi.
I am sorry you feel this way! Please be assured that everything you have posted here today is anxiety/depression related ! and in regards to your comment about you feel you have no reason to be anxious/depressed and therefore feel it cant be anxiety.....your wrong!!! Anxiety doesnt have a preffered sex, class, race, ethnicity, life situation...... it can get anyone! which is why some people are left feeling guilty.... eg : 'i have a great life why would i be anxious or depressed...even so and so who has a reason to be depressed isnt so why would i be?'.
you need to recognise your problem and try to deal with it rather than focus on why you might be anxious or depressed because truth is it really can creep up on anybody! I hope you begin to see some light at the end of the tunnel soon xxxxx
Thank you for the reply, nervousmummytobe.
I guess you are right, it can get to anyone. It's just that all my life I've lacked confidence/been anxious in certain situations (like at work I was always anxious and nervous on the phones) but I never felt symptoms like this before, which have totally wiped me out. I feel like an 80 year old in terms of how much energy I have and how my body feels.
I guess what I also meant to say was, over the 2 years that I have been feeling like this I have obviously had many blood tests (including 'full' blood tests) and just want to know that if there was anything serious wrong with me, would they have shown up in these tests?
Thanks for your support.
nervousmummytobe
17-07-12, 15:39
My gut instinct would be yes it would show up in full blood work...
this is how alot of people are diagnosed of things wothout ever considering the problem during routing check ups or health screening x
countrygirl
17-07-12, 15:46
Have you had an eye test during the time you have unwell?? Eye tests are a great health mot as alot of serious conditions are picked up by opticians so if you haven't had one since feeling unwell then go and have one and if all is well then this adds to the okay blood tests that probably nothing serious is cuasing the symptoms??
Have you talked to your Dr and explained what illness you fear you have by your symptoms??? I find that doing this has been a huge benefit to me especially if you try and stay with same Dr who knows you better. AS I was told Drs are not mind readers and if they are not concerned they do not even think to reassure the patient that their headaches are NOT from a brain tumour so it pays to always say this is what I fear my symptoms are a sign of and then it can be explained why they think you are wrong!
Nervousmummytobe - thanks for your opinion on that. I would hope that *something* would have shown up in all the tests I have had, but I get so scared that it's something missed. Any other opinions on blood tests?
Countrygirl - I have actually had a couple of eyetests and I remember mentioning to them about my headaches, and whilst my prescription had changed since the glasses I got in 2009, it was minuscule and they said it would not be enough to cause me headaches. This was one of the first things my doctor suggested back toward the start of 2011 and I remember thinking that actually, that may be the problem and I was quite sure that I would be told my eyes had gone bad again and I'd need new glasses" - so my worries didn't go down at all, but increased, when they said that everything was fine.
I haven't spoken to my doctor about what I think it might be...does this sound silly, but I'd get worried even mentioning those words in there? I wish I had someone to come with me, but no one seems to believe quite how rubbish I feel or take me seriously. It is ruining my life, I have no job, no money and no social life. I am now in a position where I dread the feeling of going back to a job just in case I can't handle it and let people down there, and lose my job. I do remember a doctor asking me what I thought was wrong one time, but I honestly have no idea. When they mentioned possibility of ME, they tested for that (not sure how they test for it) but it came back clear.
The only problem I do have which I can't believe I forgot to mention is I was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid last year when I first went to the doctors and they told me that that would be why I felt so tired, but my thyroid is now apparently 'under control' and as such I guess this is why I 'forgot' about it....although I do sometimes wonder if the medication could be causing me to feel awful, or why indeed I have an underactive thyroid in the first place? The doctors have never been able to explain that one to me :(
countrygirl
17-07-12, 17:26
The underactive thryoid is massively important ( I am an ex thyroid charity advisor) and even on medication your thyoid is never ever normal. YOur blood tests may be in normal range but as no one ever knows what YOUR normal is this means that it may not be normal for you do you get my meaning.
I have had underactive thyroid for past 25 years and I can say without a doubt that even though my blood tests are in the normal range I have quite a number of symptoms that are due to thyroid for example, great difficulty losing weight, low body temp, very day skin and losing outer edge of my eyebrows to name a few.
The tablets you take keep you alive but they are not replacing absolutely everything your thyroid naturally makes just the most important ones for life and this is the reason for the above. Before the advent of synthetic thyroxine they used to use extract of pig gland but it was very unreliable as they had no idea of the dose of each batch plus the danger of tranfer of zoonoses ( aminal disease) to humans although some people even now find that they feel better on the old animal derivative but it is not available on nhs.
Have you tried writing down how you feel and list of your symptoms and giving this to your Dr and saying REad please. My Dr loves people doing this as he says they don't forget anything and they can't change their minds at the last minute about some symptom.
Hi Alex there has been some good advice in this thread.
I just wanted to add something that will hopefully make it easier for you to accept that what you have is anxiety. Try a search on this forum for each of the symptoms you have listed. There will be hundreds and hundreds for each one. A lot of people suffer these symptoms with anxiety. True there are some other illnesses which can cause them too, but these would have shown up on one of the many tests you have had done.
Also consider this. You say how can it be anxiety as you were not anxious. It could have been the little things adding up, it doesn't even need to be things that make you conciously feel anxious. However once these have taken the smallest grip and started giving you a few symptoms your anxiety will increase ten fold and from here on I guarantee you were conciously anxious. You start being anxious about the symptoms that your anxiety is causing because they are making you feel bad and you don't understand why they are there. This creates a vicious cycle.
The underactive thryoid is massively important ( I am an ex thyroid charity advisor) and even on medication your thyoid is never ever normal. YOur blood tests may be in normal range but as no one ever knows what YOUR normal is this means that it may not be normal for you do you get my meaning.
I have had underactive thyroid for past 25 years and I can say without a doubt that even though my blood tests are in the normal range I have quite a number of symptoms that are due to thyroid for example, great difficulty losing weight, low body temp, very day skin and losing outer edge of my eyebrows to name a few.
The tablets you take keep you alive but they are not replacing absolutely everything your thyroid naturally makes just the most important ones for life and this is the reason for the above. Before the advent of synthetic thyroxine they used to use extract of pig gland but it was very unreliable as they had no idea of the dose of each batch plus the danger of tranfer of zoonoses ( aminal disease) to humans although some people even now find that they feel better on the old animal derivative but it is not available on nhs.
Have you tried writing down how you feel and list of your symptoms and giving this to your Dr and saying REad please. My Dr loves people doing this as he says they don't forget anything and they can't change their minds at the last minute about some symptom.
Thanks for the information you have given me. I totally understand what you mean by the doctors bringing it to 'normal' levels but which might not have been my normal levels previously. Being that you were heavily involved with the charity for the underactive thyroid condition, I was hoping you'd be able to give me some advice on the following points:
As I mentioned in my original post, I have been feeling unwell since around September-October 2010, and although I could cope, I noticed beginning to feel tired etc. When it became unbearable, with the dizziness and the headaches, it was May/June 2011 when I went to the doctors and had a blood test, where they told me I have an underactive thyroid. Thing is, I want to know *why* would I have an underactive thyroid? Is it one of those things that just happens, or is there a cause/reason behind it?
Also I have a friend (not overly close, we just know each other) who I did not realise has an underactive thyroid, but she is able to getthrough her day, work, etc. But she says to me she relates to my symptoms completely and she constantly feels drained, tired, feint, dizzy, and her eyesight sometimes goes fuzzy. She has had an underactive thyroid for a lot longer than I have, maybe 10-12 years ago she found out, and she tells me that the Levothyroxine medication is what makes you feel even worse, as she feels the same when taking it. Would you say this is the case?
Thanks
---------- Post added at 11:43 ---------- Previous post was at 11:33 ----------
Hi Alex there has been some good advice in this thread.
I just wanted to add something that will hopefully make it easier for you to accept that what you have is anxiety. Try a search on this forum for each of the symptoms you have listed. There will be hundreds and hundreds for each one. A lot of people suffer these symptoms with anxiety. True there are some other illnesses which can cause them too, but these would have shown up on one of the many tests you have had done.
Also consider this. You say how can it be anxiety as you were not anxious. It could have been the little things adding up, it doesn't even need to be things that make you conciously feel anxious. However once these have taken the smallest grip and started giving you a few symptoms your anxiety will increase ten fold and from here on I guarantee you were conciously anxious. You start being anxious about the symptoms that your anxiety is causing because they are making you feel bad and you don't understand why they are there. This creates a vicious cycle.
MrMJ -thanks so much for your reply. I do have a look and search through on this forum occasionally to see if I can relate to people's posts, and a lot of them I can. It's just that I am in the same boat as a lot of people in their initial posts, I am just so scared that it is something bad and hasn't been picked up. If I could somehow get it in my head that if it WAS anything bad over the past year and a half of tests (I must have had blood tests in double figures) then hopefully it would have been picked up/realised.
As I mentioned, I had a doctors appointment late yesterday afternoon. It was a locum doctor (always seem to see someone different, don't know if that's a good or a bad thing) who did sit there in awkward silence for about 10 minutes whilst reading my notes, but he asked if I had ever been tested for Lymes disease. I know nothing about that so I said I had had full blood tests previously, but he suggested we do another blood test, which I have booked for a week Friday. I looked on the form before handing it in to make my appointment and the tests were UEs, FBC, TSH and ESR. What would these be? He also asked things that other doctors have already asked previously, like whether my tiredness has been investigated (it's one of the main reasons I've been going for 1.5 years!) but I really would like some more physical investigative work done on me. countrygirl - this is where I wish I had written everything down that was wrong and then gave it to the doctor so that it everything is there and I don't forget something that I want to talk about. For instance for a few years I have had a blocked up feeling in my throat and nose - not like a cold, I just feel stuffy, and I cough up clear phlegm quite a bit. I always feel like I can feel it running down the back of my throat (disgusting I know) - this has been going on for a while, doubt it is linked to how I am feeling now (tight head, headaches, tiredness) but you never know. Could it be a problem with my sinuses?
Anyway other than achieving yet another blood test to come, I felt like again it was a waste of time really :( he said to go back in 3 weeks, where no doubt my usual doctor will be unavailable again. Again today I have woken up and literally had to drag myself out of bed. My alarm was set for 7:45 but by 10:30 I was still in bed having drifted in and out of light sleep, then waking up feeling so groggy. Just feel like I am losing the plot :(
Thanks for all your replies so far
Not sure if I am allowed to do this or not but *bump*
Still struggling big time to cope. Yesterday was dreadful and is the first day in a while I've just wanted to sleep all day but I was just laying drifting in and out of naps. When I wake up from these naps I feel even more dreadful and groggy.
I've got to a stage where I just can't see any way out :( I have my next counselling session today and when I have to answer the GAD7 and PHQ9 questions with regards to anxiety and depression, I am sure they will have gone down and I am worried that in some ways I am not moving forwards. I guess this is all because I can't convince myself that these physical feelings of being drained, fatigues, light headed and headaches is in my head.
Wow how you feel is exactly how i am. I am really struggling with believing these physical symptoms are down to anxiety. As all I am anxious about is feeling unwell. However i have been diagnosed with me/fibromyalgia and you sound very similar. I also have an underactive thyroid x
Hi alex
Think it's fine to "bump" (better than starting a new thread :)). I have a lot of similar symptoms to the ones you describe and can completely empathise with the feeling that there's no way out. However, I don't believe my symptoms are caused by anxiety, although they do contribute to it big time!
I have also been diagnosed with hypothyroidism, and like countrygirl says, although clinically my current blood results indicate that it is now in the "normal range", I can honestly say that I've noticed no difference whatsoever since starting levothyroxine nearly a tear ago (I am on a paltry amount). I feel cold, tired, lacking in energy and depressed a lot of the time. I am also iron, ferritin and b12 deficient (might be worth asking for a test for b12 if they haven't already done it as a lot of docs don't even think of it).
I think when docs can't find an obvious clinical cause for symtoms like tiredness, they automatically assume depression / anxiety is the cause which I am sceptical about in a lot of cases.
Wow how you feel is exactly how i am. I am really struggling with believing these physical symptoms are down to anxiety. As all I am anxious about is feeling unwell. However i have been diagnosed with me/fibromyalgia and you sound very similar. I also have an underactive thyroid x
Hi RockyDog, thanks so much for posting.
How long have you had an underactive thyroid for if you don't mind me asking? Also, when you were diagnosed with that, how long had you been feeling unwell before that? Do you also have the headaches and the tiredness?
I am just constantly worrying about the way I feel physically and I it's increasing my anxiety ten-fold. How do they do the diagnosis of ME? I had a 'test' for it when I had a blood test in May and it came back clear, but I wasn't even aware that there was a test for ME?
---------- Post added at 15:41 ---------- Previous post was at 15:33 ----------
Hi alex
Think it's fine to "bump" (better than starting a new thread :)). I have a lot of similar symptoms to the ones you describe and can completely empathise with the feeling that there's no way out. However, I don't believe my symptoms are caused by anxiety, although they do contribute to it big time!
I have also been diagnosed with hypothyroidism, and like countrygirl says, although clinically my current blood results indicate that it is now in the "normal range", I can honestly say that I've noticed no difference whatsoever since starting levothyroxine nearly a tear ago (I am on a paltry amount). I feel cold, tired, lacking in energy and depressed a lot of the time. I am also iron, ferritin and b12 deficient (might be worth asking for a test for b12 if they haven't already done it as a lot of docs don't even think of it).
I think when docs can't find an obvious clinical cause for symtoms like tiredness, they automatically assume depression / anxiety is the cause which I am sceptical about in a lot of cases.
Hi Darwin73, thanks for your post.
I also now believe that my anxiety is contributing to how I feel, but I am worried about why I feel so ill in the first place. What are your symptoms? I can't put my finger on what I find the most debilitating for me, the headaches or the sluggish, tiredness, both of which I have constantly.
With regards to the thyroid, it certainly is interesting hearing from other people who have an underactive thyroid too. I would have started taking levothyroxine around the same time as you last year. What is your dosage? They started me on 20mg, then when I went back to another doctor and complained that I felt no different at all, he said "It's no wonder you're still having headaches and tiredness, 20Mg is a measly amount" and basically said I should have been started on 100Mg from the off. I am now on 125Mg but feeling no different even now! :( I am still unsure why I have an underactive thyroid, how long I have had it and if it is one of those things that just happens? I hear it's not very common in men so that concerns me too. I have a friend who says that the medication we are given for the condition (levothyroxine) is the 'cheap stuff' and that it doesn't work, but as yet I am unconfirmed on this.
It is just so awful, I am mega depressed now, but that's purely because of how I am feeling physically and how it is stopping me doing things I want to do (like getting a job) and also depressed because of how I am being perceived by others - almost like they think I am faking feeling this way or that I am just lazy, but they have no idea how washed out I feel and it makes me feel so low :( I will definitely look into the possibility of the iron deficiency.
I agree with you that doctors like to play the depression/anxiety card too readily, but I've been going to the doctors for over a year now feeling like this and still nothing has been found, yet I can't put my mind at ease.
I just feel so alone and the only people that truly understand are you guys on here.
Hi there I have underactive thyroid for some time i would say about 7 years. But yes headaches all the time and tiredness, not like sleepy tiredness but like exhausted or washed out.
I was diagnosed with fibromylagia about 12 years ago but then a few years later they decided i didnt have enough pain for fibromylagia but had more fatigue so decided it could be ME. No one has been that certain. I have had times when i have been relatively okay and the over the past 12 years had 3 ocassions when it has flared up and ive been virtually bedridden for some weeks. I seem to get really bad with it and have to virtually stop then it gradually improves until im feeling nearly normal, usually takes a couple of months.
However this time it has wiped me out and started with anxiety and panic something i have rarely had. It was so confusing because i couldnt understand the anxious feelings, i have had about every panic type symptom that exists lol over the first part of this year. It made me very difficult to treat because what was advised for the anxiety wasnt always possible with ME.
There isnt a test for ME they just look at how long you have had it and your symptoms and rule out every thing else. Sorry a bit long ... x
Hi again
I am only on 50mg of levothyroxine, and I've had symptoms of an underactive thyroid for at least ten years now. In my early 20s (some 18 yrs ago now :ohmy:) I had Graves disease which is an autoimmune disease that makes your thyroid overactive, and I know that when they were trying to balance my meds for that, if they gave me too much, it went underactive, so I I have always known the symptoms. I guess I had about 5 years of feeling "normal" before the underactive symtoms started.
My main problems are tiredness and lack of energy. I have 3 kids so I have to get up early, but if I can't find time to crash out in the middle of the day then I really feel awful and fall asleep on the sofa at about 7.30pm. I also have lots of unexplained aches and pains, constant mouth ulcers and pick up any virus going, but I am not sure if that is down to the thyroid or b12 deficiency. Either way, I hate feeling like this too.
I have tried to talk to family and friends about how I feel, but they seemto think I should just "try to forget about it" and carry on as normal, which is impossible. It is so hard when people don't understand isnt it?
With regards to ME, as rockydog says, it is an illness of exclusion and there isn't a specific test they can do, although I believe some blood tests do show raised inflammatory markers in people with ME.
Darwin73 have you ever had your vitamin D checked ? as it isnt covered with standard blood tests and mine was severely deficient at just 9 and should have been 75 the deficiency causes random aches and pains x
No rockydog, I haven't, though have often wondered if it could be a possibility. I am in the process of changing my GP at the moment (sick of them not taking me seriously - had to beg for the blood tests that showed I was iron, thyroid, ferritin and b12 deficient as he said I "looked ok"), so I will ask my new one when I get round to registering. Didn't realise that vit D deficiency causes aches and pains as well!
If I've had one of my bad days I can be sleepy for a couple of days anxiety drains energy keep that in mind I no from Experiance I was doing gym 6 times a week before the anxiety now I'm lucky to get there 2 days a week
Hi there I have underactive thyroid for some time i would say about 7 years. But yes headaches all the time and tiredness, not like sleepy tiredness but like exhausted or washed out.
I was diagnosed with fibromylagia about 12 years ago but then a few years later they decided i didnt have enough pain for fibromylagia but had more fatigue so decided it could be ME. No one has been that certain. I have had times when i have been relatively okay and the over the past 12 years had 3 ocassions when it has flared up and ive been virtually bedridden for some weeks. I seem to get really bad with it and have to virtually stop then it gradually improves until im feeling nearly normal, usually takes a couple of months.
However this time it has wiped me out and started with anxiety and panic something i have rarely had. It was so confusing because i couldnt understand the anxious feelings, i have had about every panic type symptom that exists lol over the first part of this year. It made me very difficult to treat because what was advised for the anxiety wasnt always possible with ME.
There isnt a test for ME they just look at how long you have had it and your symptoms and rule out every thing else. Sorry a bit long ... x
Don't worry, it's not long at all :)
Thanks for replying. I find the headaches constant but varies from a dull feeling which is always there to sometimes being a full on headache. I don't know how to describe my tiredness, but washed out sounds about right. I feel so sluggish that everything feels like a major effort. I had to walk back from the city today in 27C heat and by the time I got back I was covered in sweat. I've also noticed I've started sweating a lot at night. It's just the most awful feeling, I feel like I can't do anything. How are you feeling now? When you say feeling normal at times, do you mean totally normal as in no headaches, no tiredness, etc? The thing that is playing on my mind and is concerning me, is that I can't remember the last time I felt normal :(
---------- Post added at 17:23 ---------- Previous post was at 17:15 ----------
Hi again
I am only on 50mg of levothyroxine, and I've had symptoms of an underactive thyroid for at least ten years now. In my early 20s (some 18 yrs ago now :ohmy:) I had Graves disease which is an autoimmune disease that makes your thyroid overactive, and I know that when they were trying to balance my meds for that, if they gave me too much, it went underactive, so I I have always known the symptoms. I guess I had about 5 years of feeling "normal" before the underactive symtoms started.
My main problems are tiredness and lack of energy. I have 3 kids so I have to get up early, but if I can't find time to crash out in the middle of the day then I really feel awful and fall asleep on the sofa at about 7.30pm. I also have lots of unexplained aches and pains, constant mouth ulcers and pick up any virus going, but I am not sure if that is down to the thyroid or b12 deficiency. Either way, I hate feeling like this too.
I have tried to talk to family and friends about how I feel, but they seemto think I should just "try to forget about it" and carry on as normal, which is impossible. It is so hard when people don't understand isnt it?
With regards to ME, as rockydog says, it is an illness of exclusion and there isn't a specific test they can do, although I believe some blood tests do show raised inflammatory markers in people with ME.
Thanks for writing back. Have they ever 'played around' with your dosage to see if things change? Mine was changed 3 times within a few months and I am starting to wonder if I am now taking too much levothyroxine and if that can make me feel worse.
The lack of energy is the worst thing isn't it. I can barely look after myself so I couldn't imagine what it would be like with 3 kids. No wonder you feel wiped out. I keep trying to get up at an early-ish time (7:45 to 8am) but lately I've really struggled to do so. I also most days end up falling asleep. I just lay on my bed and it happens. This never was an issue 2-3 years ago or before. I just lay there, fall asleep, and then I wake up feeling awful and grotty.
Like you say, it is hard when people don't understand. I keep having people say to me "Ok, you don't feel great, but you just have to accept it and get on with it and get a job" - but why should I just have to accept feeling the way I am? This is no life. I feel like I am missing out on so much because of this, and struggling for money as I am jobless. It's annoying me because days like this, the sun is out, it's 27 degrees and there's not a cloud in the sky. I used to enjoy days like this.
Now I just can't.
---------- Post added at 17:30 ---------- Previous post was at 17:23 ----------
If I've had one of my bad days I can be sleepy for a couple of days anxiety drains energy keep that in mind I no from Experiance I was doing gym 6 times a week before the anxiety now I'm lucky to get there 2 days a week
It's awful isn't it. I'd like to join the gym but a) money and b) I don't even know if it would be good for me :(
Really want to get fit but scared as I feel so lacking of energy - like I used to love going for a run. Now I dare not even go for a slight jog in case something happens!
just to let you know im still reading will reply in a bit, been a bit hectic today x
Hi there I have forgotten where we got to lol
How long have you been feeling like this as it may just be an early stage of your anxiety?
Ignoring my fibro/ME and thyroid i have been unwell since last October and my symptoms then were severe. I literally couldnt face seeing people, go out, go to work or even stay down stairs in my house as the noise from the tv or family was all too much.(i was really crazy) Then amongst all that i had constant headaches every day to some degree and convinced at some points that there was something seriously wrong with my head. I also ached like i had flu everything from my body to even my face it was awful, far too noticeable to even talk to people without being constantly aware of it. I had sweating at different times and would shake as soon as i was hungry. I would get s strange all over sensation and weird head feelings if someone knocked on the door. I would wake up with my hear racing, had vertigo and just felt unreal. I also felt no one cared or bothered to try and help, so as you see quite badly affected.
Now i am back at work,although i only work part time and still feel worn out when i get in. I dont have any problems with seeing people or anxiety about going out. Some days i feel nearly normal and then i have a few days with chronic fatigue and my eyes and my head hurt and i feel irritable and depressed. I then think what on earth is wrong with me this cant be anxiety, i must be ill to feel this physically unwell. Does that sound familiar ? :)
Hi there I have forgotten where we got to lol
How long have you been feeling like this as it may just be an early stage of your anxiety?
Ignoring my fibro/ME and thyroid i have been unwell since last October and my symptoms then were severe. I literally couldnt face seeing people, go out, go to work or even stay down stairs in my house as the noise from the tv or family was all too much.(i was really crazy) Then amongst all that i had constant headaches every day to some degree and convinced at some points that there was something seriously wrong with my head. I also ached like i had flu everything from my body to even my face it was awful, far too noticeable to even talk to people without being constantly aware of it. I had sweating at different times and would shake as soon as i was hungry. I would get s strange all over sensation and weird head feelings if someone knocked on the door. I would wake up with my hear racing, had vertigo and just felt unreal. I also felt no one cared or bothered to try and help, so as you see quite badly affected.
Now i am back at work,although i only work part time and still feel worn out when i get in. I dont have any problems with seeing people or anxiety about going out. Some days i feel nearly normal and then i have a few days with chronic fatigue and my eyes and my head hurt and i feel irritable and depressed. I then think what on earth is wrong with me this cant be anxiety, i must be ill to feel this physically unwell. Does that sound familiar ? :)
All that sounds VERY familiar, thanks for the post rockydog.
I had the sort of flu-ey aches and pains, but knew it wasn't flu because there was no cough or cold symptoms with it. Just my legs being so drained of energy and when I would walk to work I would have this awful burning feeling in my lower calfs.
All of the symptoms, including the fact that I just could not concentrate at work (I'd keep sitting there feeling shaky whilst at my desk, or feeling my head as it felt so bad in terms of headache) mean I can not see how I can get a job and hold it down right now. The worst part of my previous job was when we'd have these meetings with all of the teams (there would be 100 or so of us in one room) and as there were very few seats, I mostly always had to stand at the back, near the windows. The meetings would last for an hour, maybe 2, and I just felt so feint and in my last few months at work I was taking in *nothing* from the meetings and just constantly thinking of how ill I felt.
Like you I had/have the sweating, the vertigo. I remember one morning in March this year waking up and my room was spinning - I had never known a feeling like it. Did you often have dizziness/vertigo? I don't seem to get this anymore but I still have the headaches and the fatigue. I am so depressed right now and I just can't see me feeling better any time soon. But thank you for your post because your last line sums up an almost identical quote that I gave to my counsellor in my first session with her:
I then think what on earth is wrong with me, this cant be anxiety, I must be ill to feel this physically unwell
This is how I feel.
It isnt good is it, living with it. I only had real vertigo a couple of times where the room was spinning and i have never been so frightened in my life i was terrified and i think some of my anxiety started or worsened at that point. I was completely freaked that something as simple as vertigo could disable you that much. For the next few moths i could not move without the medication with me, i even slept with it under my pillow.
I think the vertigo and dizzyness is oftem a stage of anxiety as so many people metion it.
My vertigo progressed into constant spells of dizzyness and light headedness i think due to my fear of getting vertigo again.
It is only recently that i can understand people saying when you feel the sensation of light headedness or strangeness dont add more fear to it by jumping up and thinking oh my god here we go again !!! because at that time it scared the life out of me thinking this time i am going to pass out or something is going wrong !
I can understand you not remembering things said at the meeting because i was the same ad i couldnt even remember what friends had said when they visited or what doctors had said. I had cbt and still have no idea what she said in those first sessions, while i was there i felt better and felt i knew what she was saying and then when i went home i had no idea what she had said. I think now that im ok i could really benefit from the sessions and it would help me understand what actually happened to me.
like you when it all calmed down and the other symptoms subsided although reappeared every now and then, i was left with fatigue and headaches. The next stage was to only have the headaches and fatigue at certain times. It would go away and i would think brilliant ! only for it to return a week or so later. Which was actually more depressing because i would sink lower when it returned thinking oh my im stuck with this, is this to me my life now onwards.xx
How are you doing now ? :)
Hi, I am ever so sorry for late response @Rockydog.
Just returned here to resurrect this post really, so I will respond to yours within this (I never received a notification that there were new posts) How are you doing now? I am still no further forward after a few up and down months (mostly down) since posting this.
I feel on the verge of losing everything again. People are not understanding of my position, and how I feel. And I am still inexplicably feeling so rundown, tired, achey and with headaches. Over the last few months I've tried quite a bit:
* I am having telephone appointments with a therapist/counsellor through the local 'wellbeing service' which deals with stress, anxiety and depression. This is the second person I've had appointments with and she deals more with people who are tired/lacking energy and motivation as this is her focus area. She has suggested things like going for a run, which I started doing every other day, until about 2 weeks later when my left leg was in agony so I had to stop. So I continued to go for a walk every day as she suggested, been walking about 2 miles. Her aim is to get me more active to see how I feel, and use a "5 minute rule" - do it for 5 minutes, if it feels fine, carry on, if not, stop.
* I applied for jobs in late August/through September time. Had one interview but didn't get the job. Not heard back from any others but I did go and register with agencies, saying I mainly wanted part time work - but nothing has come up. The interview was a confidence boost for me, as I got two interviews at the same place (PC World) and was told I appeared very confident etc but it's not how I feel inside, if that makes sense. So it was kind of a good feeling to hear people say that, but on the other hand, my confidence feels shattered because of how I feel. I also mentioned to my counsellor, "Am I doing the right thing applying for jobs, is it too soon?" - I think I've answered my own question, I am still so tired every day. We set a target of getting up at 9am every day to see how I got on. I was managing to do this whilst still feeling mega tired, but the last 2 weeks I have really struggled. I just can't get myself up in the morning and I can't sleep at night. I just don't know how I can even think about getting a job when I feel like this :( but people keep on at me to get a job and that I am wasting my life away - but I know this inside! I just don't know how to beat it and it's SO frustrating that I can't even put it into words.
* After consulting 'Doctor Google' online for the last few years of feeling this way (since toward end of 2010), one of the symptoms I often see for extreme fatigue/constant headaches is HIV. Therefore, being the way I am, I have been worried sick that I had that, for some reason and I haven't mentioned this on here due to the sheer fact that I refused to talk to anyone about my worries because I felt convinced I'd have it - all the symptoms lined up - I had no reason to believe I had it, but it just kept popping up everywhere and I have been scared stiff. In August I finally bit the bullet and went to the GUM for a full STD test including HIV. It came back negative, all clear - I always imagined that if I had that result, it'd be a HUGE weight off my mind. I thought all the stress and worry about that may have been the reason I have been run down and feeling so low. But it doesn't seem to have worked out like that. Obviously I was delighted to see that all my test results were fine. But now I am just left thinking, what on earth is causing me to feel this way? Obviously I now know that I should NEVER Google anything.
I am slowly going mad and think my sanity may be at risk. I want a job, money, to be able to go out and socialise etc - a normal life, nothing fancy. But I feel like I am going to lose everyone. I have very few friends, my family keep telling me I need to get a job....when will I be able to overcome this? It feels like people don't believe me :(
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