Kroko
26-05-04, 16:25
Hello,
History first, in an easy-to-skip paragraph:
I've suffered from derealisation since 2000 (1.1.2000 in fact!). Thinking that unreal feeling was due to a physical condition led to my first panic attack on an early 2001 morning. I was prescribed with Seroxat (20 milligrams a day) on which I was able to lead a somewhat normal life, free of panic attacks but not of the derealisation, and all this time I had not heard of derealisation anywhere, so I kept thinking there's a physical condition behind it. Two weeks ago, Seroxat's effect wore off for a reason beyond me and my doctors (possibly a case of the body developing an immunity to paroxetin, the active agent in Seroxat) as I woke up in panic so intense that I had to be institutionalised for the first time in my life. During my first leave from the asylum I found out online about derealisation, and was extremely relieved. Up until that point, I had only had people to listen to me, yet no one to explain the unreal feeling to me. I thought I was the only one in the world who had experienced such a feeling in a prolonged form (I had read that it's an acute symptom with panic disorder, but never found out that it can indeed be chronic). I also just recently realised that I'm agoraphobic; off of medication, I'm unable to even go to the grocery store about 800 meters away from home! I'm currently on Remeron (30 milligrams a day) which was prescribed by a doctor at the asylum. So far it's not helping, but I'm positive that I'll beat my illogical fears one of these days, without the aid of medication. I currently get to about three fourth way to the grocery store, after which, no matter how logically and positively I try to think, my mind leaves me with no choice but to return "to the HQ".
Now that you've probably skipped that paragraph, I have nothing interesting or clever to say, other than the mundane basic information of me having been born on the 14th of May, 1984 (yes, I spent my birthday locked up :D) in Finland, where I've lived my whole life thus far.
If you've (honestly) read this far, all I can say is thank you for your interest in what I'm sure this online community is familiar with.
History first, in an easy-to-skip paragraph:
I've suffered from derealisation since 2000 (1.1.2000 in fact!). Thinking that unreal feeling was due to a physical condition led to my first panic attack on an early 2001 morning. I was prescribed with Seroxat (20 milligrams a day) on which I was able to lead a somewhat normal life, free of panic attacks but not of the derealisation, and all this time I had not heard of derealisation anywhere, so I kept thinking there's a physical condition behind it. Two weeks ago, Seroxat's effect wore off for a reason beyond me and my doctors (possibly a case of the body developing an immunity to paroxetin, the active agent in Seroxat) as I woke up in panic so intense that I had to be institutionalised for the first time in my life. During my first leave from the asylum I found out online about derealisation, and was extremely relieved. Up until that point, I had only had people to listen to me, yet no one to explain the unreal feeling to me. I thought I was the only one in the world who had experienced such a feeling in a prolonged form (I had read that it's an acute symptom with panic disorder, but never found out that it can indeed be chronic). I also just recently realised that I'm agoraphobic; off of medication, I'm unable to even go to the grocery store about 800 meters away from home! I'm currently on Remeron (30 milligrams a day) which was prescribed by a doctor at the asylum. So far it's not helping, but I'm positive that I'll beat my illogical fears one of these days, without the aid of medication. I currently get to about three fourth way to the grocery store, after which, no matter how logically and positively I try to think, my mind leaves me with no choice but to return "to the HQ".
Now that you've probably skipped that paragraph, I have nothing interesting or clever to say, other than the mundane basic information of me having been born on the 14th of May, 1984 (yes, I spent my birthday locked up :D) in Finland, where I've lived my whole life thus far.
If you've (honestly) read this far, all I can say is thank you for your interest in what I'm sure this online community is familiar with.