James M.
18-07-12, 05:10
Hello guys, I came to this forum in hopes of turning my life around, in order for you guys to understand me, I'm just going to let it all out (hope you dont mind). I'm a 20 year old guy, I work at a GM dealership and have an ambitious lifestyle. I have major goals for myself, and am trying to work towards the brightest future I can. All the while, I have to cope with pretty severe anxiety problems; mostly health related. It started back in high school, when one night my mother tried to commit suicide. We worked hard to help her recover, and she did until years later (this year as a matter of fact). Last year while working my old job, I got severly overheated and ended up having a heat stroke and became hospitalized. From that point forward I became a severe hypochondriac. Fears of countless diseases overcame me, as well as a fear of even getting warm. They led me to live with anxiety on a day to day basis, affecting my work, my home life and my social life. I started taking meds to help relax me, but I stopped and chunked the pill bottle because I knew I wanted to do this on my own. I've slowly worked on training myself to cope with this, but considering the fact that nobody understand my situation, it really makes it a daunting task. The moment I began to see light at the end of this abyss of a tunnel, my mother tried to commit suicide two more times (the last being an extreme turn of events). For months I've been out on the smallest, weakest stick at the very tip of the longest limb, doing my best to juggle work, school, caring for my family, etc.. so much so that i've neglected myself. Granted I'm still healthy, I havent done anything for myself at all. Up to this point I've dealt with countless sleepless nights, anxiety that I keep bottled up inside, and even anxiety attacks that I try and keep silent just to keep from stressing my family out. Its' been a long hard road, and I hope I can find help to guide me through this. Thank you for reading my rant.
James.
James.