Needing reassurance

[ell1877]

My recent smear came back as a borderline result !!!!
negative hpv and a normal 3 year recall

I've always had my smears when they are due and up until this one they've always been normal

I felt sick shocked and couldn't breathe my life is over surely!!

I looked at my little boy and all I could see was he was going to grow up without his mummy
Everyone has done Their best to reassure me
But I can't help but fear the worse everywhere I look there's something to do with cancer
Every song I hear seems morbid
I wake up in the morning and I have this instant dread a heavy feeling all over me
I start panicking n feel like I can't cope with it all

I've read up on borderline and it mostly seems positive so why don't I believe it

I just feel like I'm going to be different and they wont be able to do anything

Please someone help me :scared10::scared10:

[beauty]

Hi there,

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling like this. I’ve rarely struggled with health anxiety either but went through a similar phase where I convinced myself I had cancer due to symptoms and the fact that wherever I went I seemed to read/see things about that type of cancer which I was convinced was some kind of sign.

Have you been to see your doctor to discuss the borderline result? I think hearing reassurance from a medical professional would really help.

You just need to keep reminding yourself that whatever it is that has caused the ‘borderline’ result has been detected and is on record and will be considered at the next smear which is of course a good thing. The worst cases of illness are those that are never detected or picked up on by doctors and are just left until it is too late. There is a reason the doctors are comfortable with not acting on the ‘borderline’ result therefore it is so unlikely that there is anything to worry about. Yes they do make mistakes very rarely and when they do it gets printed all over the newspapers, but in reality it is so rare. Therefore they have this under control and they would never take a risk or put your health in jeopardy so there is nothing to worry about. All of this is completely logical and stuff that I’m sure in the back of your mind you already know.

But I know how easy it is to let negative thoughts get out of control. How long have you been going through this worry? I’m hopeful that in time the thoughts will go away and your mind will settle with the most logical theories.

Keep me updated xx

[ell1877]

Hi Thanku

It's just over a week ago I got the dreaded letter :-(
Yes you're right technically I have all the logically reasonings but it's the negative that's taken control

I have been to see the doctor n she said not to worry etc and I've even spoken to a cervical smear screener n she said with that result not to worry and providing the test was realisable its highly unlikely to happen!!!

Well that sort of helped but also me being me focused on the negatives

I bet the test wasn't reliable

Does she mean it's unlikely I already have the evil disease ?? So there's a chance I could already have it??

My mind went into overdrive

I seem to be trying to get assurance everywhere but I'm still convinced I'm going to die

What if I am I'm so scared xx

[beauty]

Ah ok so its still very recent that you got the letter so its even more understandable why you are so scared at the moment. I’m really confident for you that this will pass but of course it requires a lot of concentration on your part to get there, and trust me I know how easy it is to drift into worrying so I know how hard it is.

As far as I was aware the tests are reliable so please don’t worry about that. There are often cases in the news of women with cervical cancer who never had a test, but I’ve never heard of anyone who did have a test but it wasn’t reliable finding out they have it.

When the woman said that it was ‘highly unlikely’ rather than saying its ‘impossible’ she was probably being cautious and covering herself. In medicine doctors never say something is impossible or that a test/treatment is 100% reliable even if it is, because it means they are covered. Which is why certain drugs such as the contraceptive pill will say 99.9% effective. Therefore I don’t think she was suggesting there was a possibility that you have cancer, if you did already have full blown cancer the cervical smear would have picked it up and it would have been obvious to those reading the tests and you would have been sent for treatment immediately.

I’m glad that you do know, even if it is just in the back of your mind, that the worried thoughts aren’t logical. I know it doesn’t seem worth much right now but that’s actually a really good sign that those positive thoughts are there somewhere in your mind, even if the negative ones are drowning them out. The worst case would be that you have no logical positive feelings to work with at all. Try not to worry about how long it will take for the thoughts to go away and instead focus on improving things on a day to day basis.

It sounds odd but to begin with you literally need to force yourself not to think about it for most of the time by literally forcing your brain to replace any negative little thoughts that creep in with logical thoughts like things that the doctors have told you. It will feel really fake and forced but just try it and see how it goes. BUT I still think its important that you let the negative thoughts run their course and allow them to all come out at some point, so I’d suggest taking time out whenever you have a quiet moment in the day and write down all your biggest fears and let all the negative thoughts come flooding out on paper. I think its important to vent these thoughts otherwise they just lurk there and will eventually surface anyway.

Once you’ve done writing them down read through them and go through each one as though someone else wrote them and write next to them why these things aren’t logical. And let positive thoughts replace the negative ones on paper.

It sounds annoying and time consuming but please try it and see how it works for you. Even if you just do the writing down negative thoughts part and basically having a vent, it might just help get the thoughts out of your system a bit and help you get on with life.

Let me know how you get on xx