thessaly
23-07-12, 16:53
Hi everybody. I stumbled across this site the other night when my Existential OCD was cycling. I read some of the posts on it and they were quite calming and gave me hope.
It's horrible to know that other people suffer with this, but nice to know that I'm not alone.
I live in Philadelphia and I recently graduated with my Masters degree in English. I have had OCD symptoms off and on since I was fourteen, and about a year ago, after a long-I guess you would call it-remission, I started having Existential OCD. At first i didn't even recognize it as OCD, but I never do when I get a new theme. I was studying poststructuralism and literary theory at the time so I was taking all of my intrusive thoughts at face value. At times I've felt like I've been drowning in this Existential OCD, even after I recognized what it was. I have my moments, days, sometimes weeks of clarity, but then I get sucked in again. As someone said in a post I read yesterday, one answer leads to another question ad infinitum, and it is an excruciating and exhausting process, because as I try to argue these existential thoughts in my head, I'm feeding it. My arguments for meaning become like mental compulsions. Some days I'm myself, some days I feel paralyzed.
I'd be grateful if anyone has any advice to share. Just knowing someone else has been there makes me realize a little bit more that this is just OCD. I've been trying meditation, but it's really hard thus far.
Sorry, I feel like I'm whining! I look forward to getting to know everybody, and offering any support or advice I can.
It's horrible to know that other people suffer with this, but nice to know that I'm not alone.
I live in Philadelphia and I recently graduated with my Masters degree in English. I have had OCD symptoms off and on since I was fourteen, and about a year ago, after a long-I guess you would call it-remission, I started having Existential OCD. At first i didn't even recognize it as OCD, but I never do when I get a new theme. I was studying poststructuralism and literary theory at the time so I was taking all of my intrusive thoughts at face value. At times I've felt like I've been drowning in this Existential OCD, even after I recognized what it was. I have my moments, days, sometimes weeks of clarity, but then I get sucked in again. As someone said in a post I read yesterday, one answer leads to another question ad infinitum, and it is an excruciating and exhausting process, because as I try to argue these existential thoughts in my head, I'm feeding it. My arguments for meaning become like mental compulsions. Some days I'm myself, some days I feel paralyzed.
I'd be grateful if anyone has any advice to share. Just knowing someone else has been there makes me realize a little bit more that this is just OCD. I've been trying meditation, but it's really hard thus far.
Sorry, I feel like I'm whining! I look forward to getting to know everybody, and offering any support or advice I can.