Emetophobia

[DreamsInSpace2]

I am at the end of my tether. 3 years ago I was agoraphobic due to Emetophobia, I stopped eating and went through a pretty tough time with it. I was fine for these almost 3 years, now the past 2-3 weeks I am suddenly agoraphobic again, I can't leave the house, constantly having panic attacks, I feel sick with the panic attacks which is petrifying me as I would rather die (please dont comment about this as this is how scary it is for me) and I also have OCD.. and to top it off my digestive system has been playing up! :'(

I had diarrhea this morning which panicked me hoping i will be ok. ok and today i had to go to job centre to do my signing so i can get my money friday (i am on job seekers which i am considering swapping to disability with how paralysing my fear is right now.. as i cant even leave my house!!) .. so yes my mum took me, i walked into the job centre and i freaked, i became very sweaty, i was very flushed, i was panicking, rushing my words, i said to the woman please can i just please sign it and go, she was like are u ok, and she said are u sure its nothing else? (i told her id had diarrhea that morning and just wanted home-hope i will be ok!!) and i said no im fine, and she said u look very flushed, i quickly signed it and i ran out that centre like a shot, i was shaking ran to mums car.. then got in car and i started shaking, seriously panicking and crying and saying please take me home! and she couldnt she had to go to bank to pay bills before work, so she took me, i sat in car whilst she was in bank for 15 mins (this was hell to me) i started sweating, i couldnt breath, i was shaking, felt sick which PETRIFIED me, it felt like hours had passed, i even got my hoody and put it over my eyes, crouched my knees together to hide from the world. then when mum finally got back, i burst into tears again, i needed home, i needed out i was petrified, i was crying and shaking, and i couldnt breath home seemed so far away. and then she had to go to shop too.. i was crying whilst she was in shop she rushed though when we finally got back home, i ran upstairs, grabbed a bottle of water, my things and ran and sat outside, i was unable to breath and felt petrified for 30 mins afterwards, i still feel anxious now i feel anxious ALL day now but when the panic attacks are severe i fear them happening i fear them so much cause of how i feel with them, i hope i'll be ok.

i am now currently worrying because of digestive system, ate crispbread today thats all and im panicking cause of that too.. so fed up of EVERYTHING. i hope i will be ok.

Ok i have been to doctors, they put me on 2 MONTH waiting list to see a psychiatrist i need help NOW! I cant even leave my house, i cant go a day without being petrified :'(

They gave me meds, im too scared to take them, tried but i just cant it leaves me with more severe anxiety attacks

i need help, i need someone to come see me in my home, what do i do?! no one is willing to help me or more they cant, im at the end of my tether i pray i am going to be ok :'(

dunno what to do any more, anyone in same position as me? it seems so unfair i have to go thru this for a third time in my life and this time feels worse the anxiety attacks :'( i just hope i will be ok :'(

[spuder]

hi all i can say is swap from jsa to esa i am on esa u dont have to sign on every fornight, i hate anxiety too it sucks i hate it so much i didnt like job seekers they were always making me upset

[nicola1980]

Ok it really sounds like you need some hellp NOW, what meds were you given? nearly all anti depressents make us feel worse before we get better but your doc can prescribe you some diazepam to help you with this i understand completely how your feeling right now, i used to have the most severe panic attacks where i was literally gasping for breath etc and paralysed to my sofa too scared to leave my house, im now under a physchatrist which my doc rushed through for me and ive been assigned a cpn who comes out to visit me at home weekly, can you call your doctor and explain how bad you actually feel? or could your mum do it for you? there is help out there but im afraid with the NHS you really have to fight for it but i promise you things will get better :hugs: xx

[DreamsInSpace2]

hi all i can say is swap from jsa to esa i am on esa u dont have to sign on every fornight, i hate anxiety too it sucks i hate it so much i didnt like job seekers they were always making me upset

hey :-) thank you for your response, what is esa and do you mind me asking how much a month it is? i am so worried about losing money as i buy my own food and stuff though at this rate i may end up not eating much at all :/ :(

Anxiety really does suck, i was fine on job seekers this year because i have been searching hard for a job but now all this has happened and i cant do it any more. i cant work, because its too hard for me now, i cant leave the house so i am really in a situation of being desperate.. because im so scared, i really hope things get better very soon because i dont know how to do this, i dont want to this time :-(

i hope it'll be ok, and i hope things get better for you soon too x

---------- Post added at 19:34 ---------- Previous post was at 19:28 ----------


Ok it really sounds like you need some hellp NOW, what meds were you given? nearly all anti depressents make us feel worse before we get better but your doc can prescribe you some diazepam to help you with this i understand completely how your feeling right now, i used to have the most severe panic attacks where i was literally gasping for breath etc and paralysed to my sofa too scared to leave my house, im now under a physchatrist which my doc rushed through for me and ive been assigned a cpn who comes out to visit me at home weekly, can you call your doctor and explain how bad you actually feel? or could your mum do it for you? there is help out there but im afraid with the NHS you really have to fight for it but i promise you things will get better :hugs: xx

I really do I am at breaking point :-( truth is i dont want to do it, i just want to die i cant do this again. it feels so unfair that ive been given a taste of a sort of normal life and then for a third time its being snatched from me but this time i am NOT strong enough to do it, i dont even have a boyfriend to support, hug and be there for me. i cannot do this i dont want to :'( i just hope it'll be ok, i just dunno how to do this and i really dont want to, i want to give up :-( its too hard. i dunno how i got through it the last two times, but this time all i know is, i want to just run from myself, fade away and dont want to have to deal with this at all, its hitting me harder, its really devastating me all this and the fear is too much, too intense and i am so frightened by it, i just hope it'll be ok :-(

citroplam but i am too scared to take it :-( im a nervous wreck when i try, i end up having severe anxiety attacks and i fear im going to end up stop eating all together especially with digestive issues. i literally cant take any more and ive contacted so many people, i seriously dont want to do this any more :(

what is a cpn? i told my friend who is doing work experience in mental health services that i wanted/needed someone who can come see me in my home and she told me i probably wouldnt be allowed it!! why wouldnt i?! i have severe anxiety, cant leave house and there is a very big chance i am going to fully relapse and end up stopping eating again which i cannot do! i cant do this again, i cant, this anxiety is too much! i need help but no matter who i turn to its like they cant help me!! :-(

i went to the doctor with my mum, i almost didnt go, i was so so scared felt sick before i even left the house, when i got there, i freaked out, had a panic attack during my doctors appt, its stealing my life again :-(

he referred me to psychiatrist but it can take up to 2-3 months appt! how can they leave someone so desperate for help for THAT long?! i am scared all the time, i cant leave house, i am at wits end i just want to disappear from this life, i dont want to live i am so so so scared because living atm is soo scary but i have no choice, but i am so scared i just hope i will be ok :'(

i hope you are right because i am at the end of my tether, it feels horrid and i dont know what to do :-(

how are you now with your anxiety? xxx

[nicola1980]

Citalopram is a fantastic AD it gave me my life back a few years ago yeah the side effects weren't pleasent but believe me in the end it was worth it, start on a low dose like 5mg if your scared and ask your gp for some diazepam to help you through. I have been where you are now and its horrid but you can do this and you will do this, please go back and see your gp and give the meds a try xx

[DreamsInSpace2]

Citalopram is a fantastic AD it gave me my life back a few years ago yeah the side effects weren't pleasent but believe me in the end it was worth it, start on a low dose like 5mg if your scared and ask your gp for some diazepam to help you through. I have been where you are now and its horrid but you can do this and you will do this, please go back and see your gp and give the meds a try xx

What side effects did you get and how long did they last? I have a very severe phobia of being sick and I'd rather die then it happen, so thats the reason I freak out so much :-( so so scared, I have had such intense panic attacks each time I have tried it. What does diazepam do/what is it for? xx

[nicola1980]

I just suffered heightened anxiety for a few days and felt a bit rough, diazepam is valium, it calms you down and is often prescribed at the start of ADs, believe me you can't feel any worse taking it than you do now xx

[DreamsInSpace2]

I just suffered heightened anxiety for a few days and felt a bit rough, diazepam is valium, it calms you down and is often prescribed at the start of ADs, believe me you can't feel any worse taking it than you do now xx

I hope you're right :-( I just hope things get better. So after a few days it started helping?? xx

[spuder]

hi esa is employment support allowence its the same as job seekers 71 pound a week paid fornightly in to your bank. it is for ppl who cannot work due to illness or disabity

[DreamsInSpace2]

hi esa is employment support allowence its the same as job seekers 71 pound a week paid fornightly in to your bank. it is for ppl who cannot work due to illness or disabity

Oh thank you! What do you have to do to be on it? and do you have to keep getting re-assessed, will i be allowed on it with an anxiety disorder?? xx

[spuder]

i am on it for depression u do have to go for a medical, just tell them u have anxiety

[DreamsInSpace2]

i am on it for depression u do have to go for a medical, just tell them u have anxiety

Okay thank you

[spuder]

no worries here to help any way i can:)