Introducing myself

[mrsfay]

It's taken a lot of courage to do this, I am sure you will all relate being in the same boat.

I had a bad year in 2008 which resulted in me developing anxiety. I managed to keep it under control for 3 years up until I had my beautiful daughter who is now one!

I feel like now my anxiety is my main personality trait, that it decides for me what I do or dont do, how I feel and act etc. There is no barrier between an irrational thought of mine and blowing it way out of proportion to the point of being up all night scared that I am seriously ill and am going to leave my daughter.

I feel like the only way I am going to get better is to face my fears and and allow myself to accept that I have an anxiety problem. So I am now on beta blockers and undergoing liver and thyroid tests (my mum had thyroid problems and suffers from depression, alcoholism etc) and have joined this thread so I know that there are people out there just like me, that I am not on my own or going crazy.

I am 24 and USUALLY on the outside, to everyone other then my husband, I am confident, popular and up for anything. I take pride in my appearance and I love travelling and being a mum. On the inside im fighting the urge to freak out and have a panic attack all the time, my stomach is constantly in knots and I am constantly blowing things way out of proportion, the simplest of comment someone has made, the slightest bit of pain in my body, and I am so tired of it. I desperately do not want to end up like my mum so I suppose the last couple of days have been the steps I've needed to take to get better, rather than just living alongside my anxiety.

Would be great to hear some of your stories x

[Liviguy]

Hi there and welcome.

Trust me, you are not alone in this. Before I found NMP I thought I was the only one in the world that had this.

17 years on, I still suffer, however that shouldn't be taken as a hopeless outlook for yourself or anyone else.

When I say I suffer, I have good years and bad years dependant on what is happening. I managed to stay panic and and anxiety free(ish) for years until my son was born. This set me back big time and before I knew it two years of my life had been wasted. I managed to get through it and was coping well again until I had to go to the doctor and all of a sudden I am really bad again thinking I have cancer/life threatening diseases.

The rational part of me thinks I am being silly, however the irrational side is running riot.

[Trish]

Welcome to NMP pull up a chair and join the many of us who belong to the 'Anxiety Club':)

Read as much as you can on here, you will find it so helpful, and share your thoughts and feelings no matter how odd you might think they are, you can bet there will be 101 club members who will know what you are going through:)

I don't know where I would be over the years without NMP:)

best wishes

Trish x

[matrix123]

Welcome here...I'm new here also (been dx with anxiety about 2 months ago). Don't know if you take meds...but in my case they've really helped, so it may be worth a try :)

[mrsfay]

Hey and thanks for the replies :)

I've been able to control it but lately I have just been convinced I have liver failure!! Its so embarrassing even saying it. I was in bed 2 nights ago feeling fine and before I knew it I was downstairs wide awake googling cirrohsis and nearly being sick.

Yesterday after a conversation with my gran on my way to meet a friend I had a huge panic attack I couldnt breathe it was so scary. My poor one year old was in the pram so I quickly pulled myself together and pushed it aside, I still met my friend and pretended nothing had happened. But it had. So I booked an urgent doctors appointment and explained that I NEED to get myself better for my little girl. She has given me citalopram and beta blockers. I've taken the beta blockers for the physical symptoms and so far it has helped, because I don't constantly feel sick and shaky, it seems easier to control my feelings.

I know my bilirubin levels have always fluctuated since I was younger, but I am literally convinced there is something wrong with my liver, ever since I began this new obsession my right hand side just under my ribs have been hurting. Even though I have told myself countless times that its only began since I was worrying, and that its nearly impossible for your liver to hurt, I just cant shake my irrational side off!! I get the results back from my liver function test in the next 2-3 days and I cant wait. Im determined to beat this, or even control it and be the "happy me" again.

I thought normal anxiety is bad, but trying to process thoughts that you cant shake off about serious illness, its the worst thing I've ever had to do!

[Liviguy]

I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow regarding my HA. It's been slowly getting worse to the point now that I am obsessing again about having cancer.

[phil0910]

hi im 24 mum of 2 boys think always had bit of anxiety due to my past but after having my kids seemed worse, past 3 months had chest pains constant thought was having heart attack told wasnt and its hernia but not convinced doctor put me on anxiety tablets feel like he doesnt listen as im young he feels like im ok.

so your not alone, my kids are only thing keeps me going and make me smile.

possibly got worse after having kids as you worry about what would happen if you werent there its scary.

my biggest mistake was googling made me think doctors had missed heart problem and every pain was heart attack, damn google.

good luck xxx

[Trish]

Number one rule : NEVER EVER GOOGLE!