Please any advice desperate

[gregcool]

Hi all, iv been in and out of depression and anxiety for a few years now, to much to talk about all the details, but my question is!!
I slowly over time started to become , more and more and more irritable over the last 3 years , to the point now wher I'm ALLWAYS irritable and edgy , no matter what is ging on. This stops me from being relaxed around people and my family, because I'm always getting pissed of by something, so easly and can't calm down, to a point where my kneck ears and face get realy hot and I feel a mood come over me and tiredness , this will stay around me all day and just keeps on the boil like described above, I have two kids ( girls ) and just canot enjoy them anymore or my wife , because I get so wound uP by my kids or anything around me, so I'm in a constant stat of anger all day and night , going to bed fed up pissed off and feeling my life is pointless , unable to enjoy life as it goes by. I just can't stop feeling like this. I have agraphobia , which stops me doing most things in life , so with this irritability I have, I feel my life is dripping away , me and my wife after 14 years have separated once all ready because my family could not handle this constant DOWN feeling I have and getting irritable so easy, it's distorting my life for sure , my wife and I are trying again, but I'm worried my irritability will , AGAIN , get the better of our relationship. Please please help anyway you can, I realy don't want to lose my family over my crap health.

[Serenitie]

Hi Greg,

I've just replied to another very similar post. The best advice I can give you is please get some anger management. My last relationship was destroyed primarily by my partner's inability to control his anger.

He is a good person with many positive qualities, as I'm sure that you are. However his outbursts caused me humiliation in my home and in public, damaged my health and self confidence and reinforced his low self esteem.

Every action has a consequence to yourself and those around you. Your behaviour is causing distress to both yourself and those you love and will continue to do so until you address it.

Have you spoken to your GP about this problem?

There are services that you can seek help from and self refer to for help including organisations like:

MIND: http://www.mind.org.uk/help/diagnose...ing_with_anger

The Everyman Project
provides a seven month therapeutic programme designed to support and challenge men ceasing their violent and/or abusive behaviours
http://www.everymanproject.co.uk/

I wish you well with taking positive steps to improve the quality of life for you and your family.

[Pipkin]

Hi Greg,

You are clearly suffering from anxiety and depression with irritability being a common symptom. Remember, this is an illness, it's not you.

First, I'm not convinced that anger management is the answer as this is mental illness and should be treated appropriately. However, I'm not a mental health professional so I'm not really in a position to comment. What you don't say is what treatment you've had, if any.

I would urge you to go and talk to your GP, even if you've discussed this before there are lots of options, not just medication which is always the first thought when you think about your GP. It's clear that you can't carry on as you are as it is affecting your relationship with your family and, ultimately, you are missing out on a happy family life. The worst thing you can do is not get help and then look back in years to come and regret the time you wasted.

You asked for help in any way, please see your GP and be totally honest with him/her. Keep coming on here too and join in on some active threads. You'll find some really supportive people who have similar experiences and you might be surprised what a difference it can make sharing how you feel.

Take care and let us know how you get on.

Pip

[Serenitie]

I'm always getting pissed of by something, so easly and can't calm down, to a point where my kneck ears and face get realy hot and I feel a mood come over me and tiredness , this will stay around me all day and just keeps on the boil like described above, I have two kids ( girls ) and just canot enjoy them anymore or my wife , because I get so wound uP by my kids or anything around me, so I'm in a constant stat of anger all day and night , going to bed fed up pissed off and feeling my life is pointless.

Hi Greg (& Pipkin),

Just following up on this post as the advice I gave was based on Greg's self report of anger. Anger and frustration can arise from depression, PTSD and anxiety states. As was the case in my personal experience (my partner's anger arose from depression and social anxiety) and my professional experience within the field of mental health.

The natural build up of frustration and loss of control caused by mental distress can result in anger. If this is a primary concern for you Greg, you could work on techniques to manage your anger, which may improve the quality of your family relationships and self esteem. Improved family relationships may in turn help your mental well being.

Anger is nothing to be ashamed of, we all experience it. It is not a judgement. However there is still a huge stigma associated with it which stops people from asking for help with these issues. This is such a shame as anger can be very destructive if not managed well and add to existing problems. I have supported clients in the past with anger management strategies and the improvement to their lives was huge.

If you are feeling agitated or angry, please discuss this with your GP and also look at medication you are on which may not be working for you and other treatment and support options including counselling which may be helpful.

I understand how painful & frustrating it is to suffer from agoraphobia, Greg. Your world feels very small and sometimes frustrations just need to be managed in a different way to prevent our relationships from deteriorating. I hope that you get the right support and this helps to improve your home life and family relationships and I would love to hear how you get on.

Wishing you well. Take care

[gregcool]

Thank you all for your reassuring input , I am and have been on meds before. It's all way to long a story to tell you all, it really is, I will keep you upto date, I'm currently waiting for me medication for my depression , I saw a doctor in a hospital mental health, they said to me I'm suffering with post traumatic stress from an scent that happens 6 years ago , long storey but it involved my friend putting me in hospital the telling me ,( because of you Greg ) I'm going to kill myself,.,,, and he did 5 min after he beat me up. So apparently I'm suffering from that night and have developed depression and anxiety agoraphobia , I got the bloody lot. So I'll keep u up to date. Thanks again all