JoniEdwards
26-07-12, 22:40
I have symptoms everyday, from shortness of breath, dizzyness, just plain being terrified of everything.
I took to self medicating because I am too afraid to take pills. So I drink, I drink everyday and have for the past two years. I drink to quiet the deafening fear that I am presented with every single day. I drink to play house and be the happy housewife. I drink to enjoying spending time with my family and friends. I drink to cure a hangover. I drink.
But I don't want to. I just now poured a tea and added whisky to it crying the while time I did it and crying while I am drinking it.
I don't know how this happened. But I need it to stop.
I want to learn how to deal with my daily symptoms without masking them I want to conquer my symptoms and beat them all on my own. I want to know that its ok if some days I am just dizzy...it just happens, I want to know that somedays I might wake up with a bit of a headache....that's part of life, I want to know that everyday can't go exactly as I planned, and that's ok because i can take it as it comes. The apt will be fine if I don't check everything 3 times before I leave, no one will die if I don't lift my feet over train tracks and sometimes bad things just happen, not because I caused them but because its part of life.
I need help. But I just do not know where to begin or even how to start.
Thanks for listening
Joni
I took to self medicating because I am too afraid to take pills. So I drink, I drink everyday and have for the past two years. I drink to quiet the deafening fear that I am presented with every single day. I drink to play house and be the happy housewife. I drink to enjoying spending time with my family and friends. I drink to cure a hangover. I drink.
But I don't want to. I just now poured a tea and added whisky to it crying the while time I did it and crying while I am drinking it.
I don't know how this happened. But I need it to stop.
I want to learn how to deal with my daily symptoms without masking them I want to conquer my symptoms and beat them all on my own. I want to know that its ok if some days I am just dizzy...it just happens, I want to know that somedays I might wake up with a bit of a headache....that's part of life, I want to know that everyday can't go exactly as I planned, and that's ok because i can take it as it comes. The apt will be fine if I don't check everything 3 times before I leave, no one will die if I don't lift my feet over train tracks and sometimes bad things just happen, not because I caused them but because its part of life.
I need help. But I just do not know where to begin or even how to start.
Thanks for listening
Joni