Preoccupied with death and my own mortality of late

[GirlAfraid23]

I've been thinking about death constantly lately, I'm only 23 but my mortality is at the forefront of my mind.
My stomach drops & my head hurts alot whenever I think.of it.
I can't work out the finality of death and the fact I'm never coming back. But back where? And where do we go? What is this thing called life we are living?
I also hate the lack of control we have over our 'time' and when it will come, how is it fair that some people die at a young age and. others at over 100?
It's actually making me ill & consistently in my head, I'm already thinking of just spending all my savings on a holiday or something amazing & telling a long lost love how i feel, despite how horrendous this idea is.
I hate that everyday I wake up thinking this could be my last day etc etc, you just dont know so what's the point in doing the same old everyday things?

[GirlAfraid23]

Can anyone help?

[Pacific]

im 23 too and can relate with everything. all i can say is try not to think about it too much..do things that make you feel good and don't think about the future too much

[Pipkin]

Hi there,

I think you know that there are no answers to most of your questions. If I knew the meaning of life, I'd be a very wealthy person! Of course you're quite right, today could be our last day although the chances of that being true are very low.

The problem is that having an intelligent and curious mind as you clearly do, it's very hard to stop yourself asking these types of questions but, as there's no answer, all you'll do is frustrate yourself and make your anxiety much worse. Ultimately, this is an obsessive thought which you need to try and break, although I know that can be very difficult to do.

I guess I don't really have any advice, which I know isn't what you wanted to hear, but I think you know that there's no real answer. It's just a matter of breaking that thought process through therapy or whichever method works best for you. I don't know anything your history but, if you haven't already, a chat with your GP is always the best first port of call.

Take care

Pip x

[geronimo]

Hi there I used to feel like this a lot what helped me was reading up on Buddhism im not a Buddhist but I look up various Buddhist websites and can reccomend a really good book as well it's called the idiots guide to Buddhism written by Gary Gach its written in a very humorous and caring way also a book called living in the now by eckhart tolle is brilliant check hin out on you tube as well although not primarily a Buddhist eckhart tolle suffered from deppresion and anxiety for years and in this book explains a lot of things like fear of death and countless other anxiety related issues I hope this helps you :)

[PanchoGoz]

Pip has brought up a very interesting point!
If you look at it, most obsessive thoughts are dispelled because someone comes along with an answer, but the thoughts come back as different worries, proving that finding the answer or solution to the thought is not actually the solution to the overall obsessive anxiety, even if it provides temporary relief.
Now when you are faced with an obsession over something with no answer (death, how big is the universe...), it presents more of a problem as it can't be solved. We are used to our worries being banished by reassurance so that when we come across one like this we feel alone and scared as there is no answer. You think you will never stop questioning it and everything else falls into insignificance.
If anything, it highlights the need to break the thought cycle and the fear inside you, rather than finding a solution to the problem itself. Be thankful for existential thoughts, as they are teaching you how to stop your anxiety! End the fear and you will still be able to have thoughts like these but you will be able to pick them up and drop them as you please without it sticking to you :)

[Littlehelper123]

Im 17 i can relate too , i get awful death thoughts, and the freak me out :( people sa that i need to learn to accept them as it is normal for someone with anxiety to experience these thoughts but i cant :/

[stay_gold]

I'm 24 and not a day goes by that I don't think about my mortality. Its very scary. The only thing I can do is follow my dreams and try n be remembered for something. There's a song by marina and the diamonds called living dead that relates to those feelings.

[DreamingAwake]

Always remember that we are at the pinnacle of something massive and tend occasionally to forget how we got here.
Take a walk in the city or town or what have you and just look around you.
Look at the people in the street. See the layers. See the less fortunate doing their utmost to believe that they are actually still alive. See through the layers. Talk to someone you don't know but don't just offload on them. Ask them a question that forces them to think of themselves and how they feel. Let them ask you something.
Go home. Have a good cry if you need to as we all regularly do.
Speak to your mom or someone close. Ask her how her day went and listen to the answer. Wait for her to ask you something but don't push. Be sensitive to the psychological needs of those around you. Then sleep. The sleep of one who has lived through the day. Wake up in the morning, feel refreshed and KNOW why you're alive. Do this as many times as you need to. The ups and downs of life are a gift from the maker. Use them to your advantage.
And hey.. 'tis life. welcome to it. breath it, eat it, enjoy it but whatever you do, DON'T ignore it. Life is one big loveable puppy. It's your job to take care of it. I love you. Goodnight.xxx

[natperez89]

How did you get over this?