View Full Version : CAN'T RELAX

27-05-04, 12:29
Hiya Guys,

I think alot of 'anxiety' cmes from my total inability to relax!! I can't seem to do it!

For instance I took 3 days holiday last week and spent it flippin cleaning! Last night I needed to get things done and my partner was going out and told me to leave some of the housework to him but I couldn't It really annoyed me to see dishes, hoovring needing done etc!

I know other people can do it - why can't I??

I'm not obsessive but like a clean and tidy house (not easy with 2 kds and a messy partner)

Is others like this? Is this an anxiety sufferers problem ie the total inability to flippin relax??? therefore ended up stressed which leads to anxiety??


27-05-04, 12:39
Hi Lucky,

Is it actually that you cannot relax or that you find it difficult to ignore things that need doing and put yourself and your needs first ?

'A very high proportion of chronically anxious people are perfectionists and are very preoccupied with getting it all perfect. They are often very house proud, turned out impeccably and drive themselves into the ground trying to achieve this'

Just a thought


27-05-04, 13:38
Or maybe you find cleaning relaxing! Sounds silly but a good clean of the house makes me feel good but then the rest of the time I am a lazy slob and make my boyfriend do it all[}:)]


Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit
Understanding is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad

27-05-04, 13:44
Good point Em
I clean because I have too and cant abide a messy house but I also find it relaxing...something to keep my mind occupied and the feeling of satisfaction afterwards is a great reward!

Lucky - you could think of it this way...how anxious would you feel if you DIDNT do it and had everything was a mess?

love Sarah

we arent mad, just the next stage of evolution :)

27-05-04, 16:17

I can't ignore things that need doing!! the thought of dirty dishes in the sink or the carpet needing a hoovering drives me INSANE. i just can't relax when these things need done! and the problem is they always need done - don't get me wrong my house is not immaculate but dirty floors, bathrooms, sinks and clothes bug me something awful!!!

My boyfriend is officailly c**p at housework it's not that he doesn't try it's just that he doesn't do it properly or straight away (he says he'll do the dishes when he has watched a programme etc) whilst I sit and stew at the thought of all these dishes!!!!

I'm not talking about gutting my house every day but the tasks that have to be done.

There is nothing better than sitting in a nice spotless house and that is how it is after I have had a good clean (which I don't find relaxing!- but can only relax once they are done)

I think I need a maid!!!!!


27-05-04, 18:09
Why dont you look at getting a cleaner for a month or two then - they aren't that expensive these days and it might help you out.


Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit
Understanding is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad

07-06-04, 12:12

LOL - I can't get a cleaner!!! I come from a working class background and my mum was a cleaner at one time!!! I couldn't get a cleaner I would feel soooo lazy (and everyone wold take the mickey!!)

I know I should shut up then if i wont get a acleaner and I won't relax when the house is a mess!!

I should learn to live by the saying 'The house will be here when your not!!!')

(Although i'm looking for an excuse to send my clothes to one of they ironing ladies!!! - but I just can't justify it in my own head)


07-06-04, 16:55
Hi Lucky,

I am exactly the same as you - I can't relax until everything, and I mean everything, is tidied up. Even if there is one measley little thing out of place, it disturbs me so much that I can't relax. I know it's a little pathetic but I can't help it!! My boyfriend tells me that I'm obsessed and he may be right but I guess that's just the way I am...so, what I normally do is tidy up everything that needs it when I get up in the morning and try to relax for the rest of the day.

Sarah (seh1980)

07-06-04, 19:45

We have a cleaner and she is a wonder. She does all the ironing and the housework once a week. Costs us 21 a week.

We wanted one because we are so busy not because we are lazy! I still do the housework, don't get me wrong, but at least once a week I know that if we are too busy then the house does still get a good clean. She never cleans the bathrooms to my standard so I tend to do them again but generally things are going well with her.

May be worth it for you too?

You can still do other cleaning tasks like the windows etc so you can still burn off all that stress and calories too.

Just an idea anyway.


07-06-04, 19:47
Oh Lucky forget to mention that I can't sit still either. I have to be doing something all the while so I am always looking for something that needs doing.

The decorating is next on the agenda - lol!


08-06-04, 11:59
Hiya Nic & Sarah,

I know it isn't lazy if you work all day etc to get some help but i would FEEL lazy!!!!!

I mean I would end up tiding up for the cleaner coming so she didn't see the mess!!!!

I know what youi mean Sarah I would love to be able to sit down and say 'so what' that the dishes aren't done etc but I just can't

What am i like there is no pleasing some people!!!!


11-06-04, 22:07
Hi everyone

Yes I'm an (almost) obsessive cleaner too. Not sure whether I do it because I've got 2 stinking great dogs, the world's most untidy partner or because I actually enjoy it:)

Got me thinking about a cleaner though, what a lovely idea... But then what would I do with myself??

Jo xx

21-06-04, 14:37
Just read through all these threads and am relieved to know that there are more people out there like me!

I can't sit still for 5 minutes! If there is housework to be done I have to do it. I try to tell myself it will keep and I should sit down for an hour before I start it but it niggles the hell out of me. I am only happy once it's all done. I can't stand sitting in a mess. I have even started doing housework before I go to work in the morning because I can't stand to come home to an untidy house. I feel it clutters my mind up for the day.

If I try to relax I always feel that I should be doing something and I feel guilty and unsettled. I also feel that if I keep on top of everything it will stop me from feeling anxious but I end up feeling anxious anyway because I haven't relaxed. It's like a vicious circle.

There is something theraputic about cleaning though, I feel that by cleaning your house you are cleansing your mind too. (Not that the feeling lasts for long after the cleaning is done!).

Ah well.......I bet there a lot of very clean houses across the country!:D

21-06-04, 21:51
my god, i want a cleaner precisely because I AM lazy![}:)]


Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit
Understanding is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad

21-06-04, 22:11
hi everyone,
sometimes the mess doesnt bother me that much but other times it drives me crazy. i think it depends if i've got something else to do like decorating or sewing i can live with the mess but if not i can't.
the thing that always bothers me though is the bed.... i hate it if the covers aren't straight when i'm going to sleep, it drives my husband mad but i always sit up once he's got into bed to put the covers back in the right place.

xxx grace