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View Full Version : Hope this will help someone - My own story of anxiety/depression/headaches/panic



Lucylocket23
02-08-12, 22:33
Hi, I'm new on here and just wanted to share my story with you and see if anyone else has been through something similar.

It all started last November when after a particularly stressful few years (I won't go into details) I was travelling up to Scotland with my family and partner and I had a massive panic attack in the car. I'd never had one before so it knocked me for six and I felt like my body was shutting down and I was dying. It was really distressing for my family who thought there was something happening to my head as I was clutching it because I had extreme pain there, all I could describe it as was a hot poker on the top of my head. For the following week which was meant to be a holiday for us all, I experienced awful thoughts of having a brain tumour and convinced myself that was it and I was going to die soon. I hardly got up all week and had negative thoughts. I wasn't a great person to be around. I kept getting headaches (I've always been prone to them) but it was a different type of headache, that's all I kept saying to my family. I felt dizzy all the time, sometimes nauseous and 'like I wasn't really there'. Constantly tired and every ache or pain in my body and head I really felt and worried about. Also my shoulders and neck were solid and aching.

After various trips over the next four months as the symptoms persisted, I had been told time and time again by doctors, nurses, friends and family, 'Lucy you haven't got a brain tumour!' But I didn't believe them. I became so obsessed with the idea of it that I somehow created my own panic. I dealt with it the best I could over the next few months, although I felt anxious and fearful if I was far from home. My attendance at work was poor and I wasn't seeing friends and even family as much. In my eyes no one could understand what I was going through and I was completely alone. I would have attacks up to 10 times a day where I felt like something was happening to my head, sometimes even my speech and eye sight would be effected, everything was blurry and I felt like I wasn't me. The thing I struggled to understand was that I was being told everything was OK, I was healthy and yet I kept feeling like this. I was scared. My relationship with my partner became strained as every night in bed I would have to sit up and take deep breaths, the attacks just before going to sleep were there worst, and then I started having them in my sleep too, and they would wake me up, I'd gasp for air and shake. Sometimes I had to go and sit in the bath just to try and calm myself down. Then hours would pass and I'd realise that I was getting only a few hours sleep a night and be expected to function at work that day... Some times I would feel normal and like myself but then as soon as I recognised it, the panic would set in again.

I'm talking like i'm completely cured, i'm not... Back in June I went away to Spain and again a similar thing happened. The WHOLE time I was there my neck was stiff. I really didn't like the thought of drinking alcohol as I worried it may affect my head and i'd suffer a headache. I didn't want to go too far as I thought if I died I might not be near my loved ones. I spent most of the 'holiday' in bed, it was 40 degrees outside and I didn't want to get up. My partner became agitated. It's hard for someone to understand when they've never experienced anything like it. They think you're making it up or just tell you to pull yourself together and everything will be fine. If only it was as easy as that eh?

As soon as I returned home I made a doctors appointment. I saw him that afternoon and it was a really teary appointment. I broke down and said I couldn't deal with myself and these symptoms anymore. He asked me if I'd considered suicide. Maybe for a split second through all this anxiety and pain I had, as a relief, but mostly it is death I am most afraid of. I still have horrible thoughts like about what will happen to my body once I am dead, awful morbid things that should never cross anybody's mind. I don't see any positives anymore, I can never resolve any problems myself, I can't see positive outcomes. I've always been the sort of person to worry but i've always been strong and able to see my way out of things.

When I returned from Spain I admitted to myself that I was completely depressed. The doctor had to say it to me ‘Lucy you are depressed’ and at that moment I realised I was. Life has become hard, everyday is a struggle to get up, I don’t find enjoyment in the things I used to, I avoid people and situations as I don’t know how i’m going to feel, I have no motivation. I’ve thought of leaving my partner not because I want to but because I often think he’d be better without me. To top it off when I returned from Spain I developed a large abscess under my arm and because anti-biotics didn’t shift it I was admitted to hospital to have it removed, after which it left a large hole in my arm that still hasn’t fully healed. I’ve had six weeks off work and am due to go back soon. I hope i’m coming out of it but you never know with anxiety and depression. It often comes out of nowhere and gives you no warning signs. I have a family of depression sufferers. Both of my parents have experienced it in their lives and as have some other relatives. I really believe it’s a genetic thing. This whole experience has also made me realise how closely linked the mind and body are. Mental illness is not taken as seriously as it should be. Just because you can’t put a plaster on it doesn’t mean it’s not serious. I’m taking Prozac at the moment and 20mg of Nortriptalyne on an evening for my night panic attacks and for that bit just before I fall asleep. It seems to be working but the panic attacks still occur sometimes. My headaches are more or less gone now and i think i’ve managed to convince myself I don’t have a brain tumour. For my mood i’m trying to surround myself with pretty things, nice music, poetry, beautiful photographs. I think I might start making notes about my daily mood aswell. See if I can notice any patterns and just so I can keep track of how many good days and bad days i’m having.

I wanted to write this because throughout this whole experience I spent a lot of time online searching for someone/anyone who felt the same or similar to me. I think out of all I read only one stood out and helped me. If I could just help one person that would make me really happy. I also just wanted to say that you are not alone and please talk to people if you feel you can. There is a light in your dark time it just takes patience to find it.

rockydog
02-08-12, 23:09
Hi i have been through something very similar and can relate to most of what you have written. I think my depression came from being unwell with anxiety and panic though, i was more depressed that i was ill and not my self rather than jut dpression alone.
Mine started the same out of know where as i was sitting in a restaurant with friends and i did exactly the same, i said something was wrong with my head and i couldnt explain it, but it was different from any other head pain.
I also stopped seeing people and only spoke to one friend about it. I went from being sociable to feeling physically ill if someone wanted to come in the house. I could only cope with oe peron at a time and if a few people came in i was over whelmed and had to go upstairs it was basically awful x

Lucylocket23
02-08-12, 23:15
Thanks for your reply, I'm glad I'm not the only one to have experienced the head thing. I hope that you have come out of your depression and your anxiety is better. It can really ruin your life, I've lost many months through it x

Pipkin
02-08-12, 23:21
Lucy,

First, a warm hello and :welcome:!

What a great post and very well put. You've had a really difficult time but have kept focussed and you now have a real understanding of anxiety and how the mind can affect the body in such a powerful way. In my opinion, that's one of the hardest things to come to terms with and truly accept. It took me much longer than you.

I hope that you meet some people on here who you can relate to. In my experience, you meet such a variety of people who have a really broad range of experiences that, not only will it help you, but you'll be able to support them too. It's amazing what a few understanding words can do when everyone else around you struggles to understand, despite their best efforts. It must be extremely difficult to grasp if you've never experienced mental illness yourself.

Keep coming on here and join in on some threads - I find it really beneficial and I can also have a good laugh with people which I find an excellent distraction when my anxiety is bad.

Take care

Pip xx

Lucylocket23
02-08-12, 23:27
Pip, thanks for your kind words.
Just sat her weeping a bit after reading them haha! Yes i'm going to try and get involved on here. It's nice we all have something in common really... :) Keep smiling x

rockydog
02-08-12, 23:52
I am a lot better thank you. It started in October and i have little memory of december to march, i feel like i have lost most of a year.
Unfortunately we had a tragic loss in February that knocked me right back, at a time i was just coming to grips with the panic and anxiety.

I returned to work part time in may, but im off again now for the school holidays so that's quite nice. I only just feel now like i want to do things and have back the motivation i lost for life.
It is only now that i realise how unwell i have been and what a vicious cycle it is as well. My illness was complicated by having fibromyalgia which i have had mildly for many years without much of a problem. What was happening was the anxiety and tension then triggered it so i would do less to avoid the pain which lead to depression through doing nothing. I stopped leaving the house between november and march and developed a severe vitamin D deficiency which caused more aches and pains. I could go on for many pages lol

The one thing i decided when i finally believed this was a mental condition and not cancer/ brain tumour/ MS or some other major organ failure was that i was not staying like it ! I never really knew what i thought i had, i was more scared of the symptoms than dwelling on one condition.
So okay, i may have the symptoms still, but they couldnt hurt me because they were mental and only had a certain strength and thats the basis to my recovery. I am not 100 % yet but will carry on and believe i will get there :)
Hope you are having a good day xx

---------- Post added at 23:52 ---------- Previous post was at 23:43 ----------

p.s i also read so many threads hoping to read about someone like myself but none completely covered it :)

Serenitie
03-08-12, 03:26
Hi Lucy,

Thank you for such a wonderful post and insight into your very personal experience of anxiety.

The triggers and symptoms may vary from person to person, but the pain we suffer as a consequence is the same, regardless of it's exact trigger or symptomatic origin.

I agree that mental distress is not taken as seriously as physical ill health, even though the consequences are often much more far reaching. The sufferer often becomes isolated and has little support in their times of greatest need. Support networks like those available through No More Panic are invaluable for this reason.

I believe that individuals can be pre disposed genetically to suffering mental distress. But I also believe that life events, being strong for too long and learned behaviour can trigger and keep us there.

Once we understand our anxiety and its causes, we can learn how to manage it better and work towards overcoming it. It takes hard work, determination and lots of wobbles along the way. But I sincerely believe that just as much as we have 'learned' to be anxious we can learn to replace our fearful thinking & catastrophic thinking with more positive thinking that serves us well and brings us the peace and happiness we all deserve.

Be kind to yourself. I wish you every success and look forward to hearing about your progress :hugs:

rockydog
04-08-12, 13:17
hope ypu are having a good day x

Lucylocket23
05-08-12, 01:09
Serenitie - Just wanted to thank you also for your lovely post. A friend recently said those exact words to me 'be kind to yourself' and it really helped me somehow. It is so important to be kind to yourself, sometimes in the stress of daily life you forget to be... I will keep you posted about my progress and thank you for being a support, it's the little things people say that really help! xx

Rockydog - I've had a bit of a mixed day today. I woke up early this morning as i'd pre-arranged to go have a tour of my local gym in the hope of joining. I've heard exercise is a really good outlet for us lot so have decided to join... wouldn't have even dared to go somewhere like that a few months ago! Had a very strange night's sleep last night as I kept waking up, not much anxiety set in though but have just felt very tired and flat all day. Hoping this isn't a new pattern as i'm feeling very much the same tonight, struggling to get off to sleep :mellow: I bought myself some beautiful flowers today and arranged them in a big vase and put them on my fire place. Roses - my favourite, so they've cheered me up a bit. Just like looking at them!
Hope you've had a good day today too... :hugs: xx

---------- Post added at 01:09 ---------- Previous post was at 01:04 ----------

Also, just one more thing... did anyone see Ruby Wax's Mad Confessions? Was on TV recently.... if you haven't i'd suggest getting it up on i-player or something. I've watched it 3 times haha! I made my partner watch it with me the other night and it led to a very positive conversation about how i'd been feeling and I think it actually made him understand a little bit more. :)

joy
05-08-12, 08:37
Thats my shrinks favourite phrase" Be kind to yourself" trouble is I'm not sure what taht means or how to do it. If anyone knows please advise

Joy

Tufty
05-08-12, 10:54
Great posts everyone, I relate with much of what you say.

As for being kind to yourself - I recently saw a counsellor who asked me list all the things I enjoyed - I really struggled, I'd forgotton what I liked and how to enjoy myself because I was so caught up in the tasks of doing and achieving - the everyday 'stuff' we do like work, cooking, looking after others etc. After alot of hard thinking I came up with a list of things I enjoy (or used to) and I try to do one of these everyday, I'm still practicing and learning, I find it takes some planning and it doesn't come naturally to focus on me and do things with no result accept enjoyment. I was told not to try to enjoy myself enjoying these things either, just do them anyway. My enjoyment things include relaxation, having a sauna/jacuzzi, painting, reading, eating out, having coffee with friends and as Lucy says - surrounding yourself with nice things - photos, flowers etc
Being kind to myself also means not beating myself up about not being perfect, asking for help and not trying to do everything myself - saying no is OK.
I still have my off days but I'm hoping by looking after myself these will be less frequent.
Love Sam

rockydog
05-08-12, 14:10
Hi there, the gym sounds a good idea I wish I could motivate myself to join again, but I have to be a little careful with this fibromyalgia.

I try very hard now not to predict how i will feel tomorrow if i am having a bad day today, because so often I have been wrong. It is very easy to think ..oh no I'm feeling depressed is this what's coming next and then anticipate it happening and add to the depression (if that makes sense)

Try and stay within that day and remember that on other days you have felt not so bad and you can get back there again. It is very hard because progress can be very slow that you hardly notice it at the time. Then 2 months on if you really think about and look back you think.. wow.. I was doing so much less then ? It is only with experience that you can learn how to deal with the condition.

My therapist would say I hope that happens again, I hope you have another incident so you can deal with it differently and know you will be ok. I used to think ..excuse me .. I don't want to experience any of this again. But she was right after repeatedly experiencing something there comes a point when you have to accept that this "thing" has its limits.

So much of your first post was relevant to me and I wish I could have read it when I was at my worse, although I probabaly would still have needed a certain amount of time to pass before I could recover. But it would have been reassuring to know it wasn't just me.
The part about night time could have been me. I would lie down with my strange head sensations and feel unrelaxed then as I was falling asleep I would feel really peculiar like i was falling, not physically like when you feel like you are falling off a cliff, but just as if going to sleep was unnatural and i something odd was happening to me. Then I would have to sit up and do breathing exercises to try and feel normal again and so it would go on. I was sleeping less and less and waking suddenly, staying awake for ages having horrible head sensations and then feeling dizzy. The not sleeping then affected me the next day as my head was worse and i felt off balance. I became aware of every change in my body and if I stood up too quicky that sensation of the blood pressure dropping felt terrifying. When I was at this stage I was a completely different person, I wasnt just myself with the odd panic attack this was day and night.
I would have to write pages to tell you all the symptoms and conditions i thought i had and how they took over my life. I would come on here and read many posts but didnt join myself until I was feeling nearly over it, i found it too frightening to even admit i belonged to the people posting on here. And to be totally honest coming on here was a bit shocking when I read people posting that they had been house bound for 18 years with agrophobia ( as i had a period of this) or they had suffered panic for 5 years, because all I wanted to read was how to get over it. I'll stop now :)
Hope today is ok for you xx