27yrs of fighting anxiety

[Jaycee]

Hi .... This is my first time on any site to do with my anxiety ... I'm 35 with 3 children and generally have a well balanced life style .
I started to expereance weird feelings around the age of 8 , I've only ever seen a pscyatrist once who told me I have a idle mind ... That was in 94 clearly I didn't gain much faith in the nhs and decided to carry on fighting it myself . Its not been easy and I use the expression living in hell a lot ... Just recently I've suffered a huge bout of anxiety and I have been struggling for over a month . I've actually broke down twice and have had to admit to my family and friends that not all is well and I'm tired of fighting the unknown . I've been to a doctor which to me was a massive phobia !! I have spent years avoiding admitting that anything was wrong (suffered in silence ) scared of the out come ... Back to the doctor .. He has suggested its an anxiety disorder and has referred me to a well being team .... I know these are therapists that will train me to take charge of my mind .... I've been trying this for 27 yrs :( I'm just hoping that now I'm being open an honest about my inner thoughts they can help me to gain control .

[nomorepanic]

Hi Jaycee

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[Pipkin]

Hi Jaycee and :welcome:
You've got a very similar story to me - I've suffered from anxiety for 30 years (I'm 41), seen a psychiatrist once who told me I had an over-active mind (?!) and that I needed to learn to relax - I could have told him that! Of course, at that time, I didn't believe I had anxiety and thought it was something physical.

I've battled on through the years only asking for help from my GP twice (the thought of those type of conversations with the doctor makes me squirm) but I've got help both times when I needed it.

I find this site invaluable and I suspect you will too. For someone who hasn't talked about their condition a lot, I think you'll feel such a relief to be able to share your experience with people who truly understand first hand.

Keep posting and take care

Pip x

[Jaycee]

Thanks Pip
Not really sure what I just did as I did a reply but not sure where it's gone :blush: So I get a second chance :shades: knowing that there is a least one other person (so far ) that has suffered a long time like myself is reassuring although I wouldn't wish this on anyone :weep: .... I'm only just learning to put symptoms into boxes by educating myself through research .. I was wondering if you suffered at all from the Depersonalization & derealization as these symptoms are for me the hardest along with a wave of what I can only describe as complete fear .... The panic attack is usually the last part like a lid being put on the bottle of all the other symptoms ..
Hope you don't mind me asking ... It's just quite fascinating that I'm not an alien .
Clearly humour gets you through to:yahoo: x

[dally]

Hi jaycee

Suffered for 30+years. Education helps a little at the begining, because it reasures you that you dont have heart, lung, bowel problems etc.
Then we are left with "well how do we cure it"???
30 years on....I havent been able to cure it. Some days are better than others. Tried meds at the beginging and reacted to all except valium. Valium got me through some things but now the doc is wanting me to stop them. I hardly ever take them, so it seems unfair as its my only crutch.
He has given me propanalol, but they make me feel woozy which gives me panick!!!.
In the last 30 years its only been An occupational therapist who has helped me a lot - taking me out and about. I found her help better than my husband, cos I HAD to keep appointments with her, whereas I would often tell my husband I was having a bad day, and would chicken out of attempting to go "out" somewhere.
Ask your gp for this type of help

good luck to you and please let me know how you get on. xx

[Pipkin]

Hi Jaycee,

No, I don't mind you asking at all. You'll find most people don't mind questions about their symptoms etc. If they do they'll either tell you or reply by private message.

I guess in some ways I've been fortunate as I've never really suffered from DP/DR - just very short bouts of it that I can work through. For me, the worst is either the crippling worry about the most trivial things or the physical symtoms that follow suit, such as feelings of doom, shaking, pounding heart, headache, palpitations (I could go on...and on...). There are lots of DP/DR sufferers on here though and I know they'll be more than happy to join in on a thread about it.

You're quite right about the humour too. It has to be the main thing that gives me the strength to keep fighting. I can generally see a funny side of most things and you'll see that, not only is this a great place for support, but also to have a laugh with some very sharp and funny people - I won't name the main culprits because they're bad enough as it is without me making them worse. You can make your own judgements on that one!

Take care and if I ever find your missing post, I'll let it know you were looking for it

Pip x

[Jaycee]

Thanks Dally .... I'm quite optimistic about taking meds as up till now I've gone undiagnosed and have managed to distract my mind at the start of an attack ..... The rest of the time I have just battled day by day and lived with worry that I'm not normal !! Mind racing questioning every thought in my head . On a good day (that hasn't been for a while ) Im calm and happy .... That's where I want to be .. It just worrys me that one day I will lose me forever and be stuck in a world of feeling weird . :wacko:.. I suppose I've nothing to lose now by reaching out x

[noclue]

Hi Jaycee, Whilst I think it would be wrong for me to say that I understand as I honestly don’t think anyone can understand how you feel other than yourself, I recently went to see my GP after 25 years of suffering, I know that I, like you had started feeling strange as we put it from a very early age, probably about 9 when my legs felt heavier than my body and I just did not feel like I was myself if that makes sense, I could not see what help the doctors could give me and I certainly did not want to be doped up on medication, I don’t know about you but tablets seem to make me worse, I had been dealing with things myself however I had started to get snappy with my partner more and pushing them away and I was worried that if I did not sort things soon then I could loose them too so I bit the bullet and went.
The doctors did the usual thing and we spoke about route causes and triggers then they referred me to wellbeing team, I dreaded my first appointment but it was really good, we just spoke about everything and anything, whilst my partner is very supportive as they do not suffer they cannot really understand what I feel so as much as I tried to talk to them I found myself growing angry at them for no reason which was unfair. I suppose I am going on a bit here and I am going off the point but I wanted you to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, it does get easier with time and the wellbeing team really helped me to gain new techniques but best of all they helped me to see that things can improve, I had thought I had left it to late but it really is never too late, you’ve done the hard bit by opening up and admitting to people which is not a bad thing, stay strong Jaycee :yesyes:

[Jaycee]

Noclue
Thanks for your response if I didn't know better I'd say your my girlfriend :lac: I'd like to think that she wouldn't be so calculated ......